Unlucky Man Spends Half His Life Arguing His Real Name Is ‘Phuc Dat Bich’

phuc dat bich passportThis Vietnamese man is so phucking tired of having his social media accounts deleted by biches who doubt the legitimacy of his name.

That’s right, 23-year-old Australia-native Phuc Dat Bich (pronounced “Phoo Da Bic”) posted a photo of his passport to prove once and for all that he is not playing a prank on Facebook.

Bich says administrators have suspended his account multiple times due to their policy of users registering under their legal names, suggesting that it’s “because he’s Asian.”  Continue reading “Unlucky Man Spends Half His Life Arguing His Real Name Is ‘Phuc Dat Bich’”

Starbucks Apologizes For Offending Southern Woman With Foamy, Caramel ‘666’

Starbucks 666A Baton Rouge woman who bought coffee at a Starbucks at the Mall of Louisiana received a large amount of both humorous and concerned comments after sharing a picture of her two drinks.

With a matching “666” and pentagram art drawn in caramel, the woman, Megan K. Pinion (so close to the ultra satanic “minion”) wrote that while she was “in no way judging” the beliefs of the barista, she judges his “lack of professionalism and respect for others” and was “appalled” by the imagery.

“I am a teacher in the public school system and if I were to present a child of atheist or pagan believers with a Christian art project I could be sued in a heartbeat,” she stated.  Continue reading “Starbucks Apologizes For Offending Southern Woman With Foamy, Caramel ‘666’”

Robin Roberts is Gay, Thanks Girlfriend For Support

Robin Roberts vintage ESPNThis afternoon my news feed was bursting at the seams about Good Morning America‘s Robin Roberts’ gayness. Upon telling my snarky roommate, he said he wasn’t surprised and when I asked if it was because she had short hair he said, “No, she was a really good college basketball player.”

I don’t want to admit that that makes sense because it’s less politically correct than Tiffany “Pennsatucky” on Orange Is The New Black, but it’s definitely funny. (Click here for a look at her as a Lady Lion at Southeastern Louisiana University.)

Roberts didn’t loudly “come out,” she simply mentioned her long time massage therapist girlfriend Amber Laign on Facebook.  Continue reading “Robin Roberts is Gay, Thanks Girlfriend For Support”

I’d Be a Liar if I Said This 13-Year-Old on X-Factor Didn’t Just Make Me Cry

Rion Page X FactorI started watching X-Factor last year to see Britney Spears act a fool, and I’m continuing to watch this year for no reason at all… No reason until I saw 13-year-old Rion Page take the stage.

Page was born with a disorder that affected her joints and made her unable to bend her hands, is almost completely blind in one eye, and has an incredible voice and attitude.

Granted, I’m feeling extra emotional and would probably cry at a plastic bag if it was blowing the way that the one in American Beauty did, but a tween with this much confidence and talent (not to mention awesome parenting from her mom), made me smile and gave me, dare I say it, hope.  Continue reading “I’d Be a Liar if I Said This 13-Year-Old on X-Factor Didn’t Just Make Me Cry”

Anthony Weiner Not Finished, More News to Come

Anthony Weiner memeIn today’s TMI news, we’ve learned more and more about Anthony Weiner than we ever wanted to. As if numerous dick pics weren’t enough, the woman involved with Weiner has claimed the politician is terrible at phone sex, and that she never had the chance to get off because Weiner would typically ejaculate after about 30 seconds.

Seriously dude, are you thirteen years old? Are you that horny? How have you not learned that phone sex is a beautiful thing that should be savored and last more than the length of a TV commercial?

The woman believed that she and Weiner were in love (LOL), but would often feel used after their phone sessions because she didn’t feel like she was getting any attention. I swear, politicians these days are such dicks.

Weiner has some long, hard days ahead – the hopeful mayor of New York City is in the midst of his second sex scandal, but he’s showing no signs of pulling out of the race.

Continue reading “Anthony Weiner Not Finished, More News to Come”

Gaga’s ARTPOP Gets Release Date & New Single!

Lady Gaga artpop mask Lady Gaga has popped out of a recording studio crevice to announce the release date of her third full-length album, ARTPOP. It is due on November 11, 2013, according to her Facebook. Seems like a long time but at least the Little Monsters will have a BRAND NEW single on August 19, 2013 to satiate their fanatical needs.

There’s also this Inez van Lamsweerde-shot photo of Gaga naked in a clear welding mask displaying her ARTPOP tat and unruly hair.

Lady G has been working with DJ White Shadow, RedOne and others since 2012 on a boatload of songs that will probably sound like Cher fell into a blender with My Little Pony and Strawberry Shortcake.

Scratch that and replace with Jem and the Holograms. Every time she describes the ARTPOP experience I think of Synergy introducing herself as a “holographic computer designed to be the ultimate audio-visual-entertainment synthesizer.”

How Channing Tatum Snubbed The Press With a Single Facebook Photo

channing tatum jenna dewan baby picI get slightly confused when people say Channing Tatum is smart.

I mean, smarts don’t really matter much when you’re that handsome and charismatic, I’m just saying that when the zombie apocalypse comes and the undead come looking for brains they may just pass him up. 

Regardless, the director of White House Down said he wouldn’t have cast Tatum if he hadn’t been so nice and “super smart” and poke-a-hole-in-the-condom worthy.

Beautiful brainless people do have their moments. Kim Kardashian had hers with the whole baby photo switcheroo and Charming Potato and his wife Jenna Dewan had a similar, f*ck those people moment involving their newborn…

Instead of selling their tater tot’s smashed skin fold pug face (I’m speaking generally here) to Us Weekly or People for a fat paycheck, the Potato family decided to simply put a photo of Everly Tatum on Facebook.

Continue reading “How Channing Tatum Snubbed The Press With a Single Facebook Photo”

Israeli Army Women Scolded For Posting Racy Photos to Facebook

naked israel women Facebook
Four or five female members of the Israeli Defense Forces are being called “the undressing soldiers” by the local media after being reprimanded for exposing their bras and g-strings in a series of photos on Facebook.

An IDF spokesperson said they were disappointed in the women, who are said to be recent recruits stationed in the Southern part of the country, and that they were disciplined for their “unbecoming” behavior as their commanding officers saw fit.  Continue reading “Israeli Army Women Scolded For Posting Racy Photos to Facebook”

‘Fresh Prince’ Actress Janet Hubert Rages at Aisha Tyler For Uttering Her Name

Aisha Tyler The Talk Aunt Viv
Apparently hell hath no fury like a washed-up actress scorned. Remember Aunt Viv on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? She was funny/good right? And it did kind of suck when she was replaced in season 4 by the less good, suspiciously lighter-skinned Daphne Reid.

Well, the great and powerful Janet Hubert, also known as Aunt Viv 1.0, is still absolutely furious at Will Smith and everyone else who worked on Fresh Prince for having her replaced. She’s also furious at anyone who talks about her on television. Like Wendy Williams, who dared to ask her guest, former FP star Tatyana Ali, about Aunt Viv 2.0 in March.

Hubert wrote a livid letter scolding Wendy for berating her fictional parenting skills, hinting that she felt especially betrayed because they’re both black women who should have each other’s backs. Continue reading “‘Fresh Prince’ Actress Janet Hubert Rages at Aisha Tyler For Uttering Her Name”

Rape, Praise for Rapists and Threatening Rape Victims: Anything Goes in Steubenville

Steubenville rapistsNormally it’s stories of animal abuse that disturb me to the point of actually being distracted during my daily routine, but every once in a while a news report of human tragedy like the one in Sandy Hook comes along and reminds me that I’m not incapable of sympathy.

For me, it was Amanda Todd, the Canadian teen who was blackmailed and bullied so harshly over a topless screen capture that she took her own life. (The post-mortem online bashing pushed me over the what-is-happening-to-the-world edge.)

For others, it’s the Steubenville case in which two “promising” (as CNN reminded us) high school football players were found guilty of rape and sentenced to one and two years in a detention center.

The boys, wide receiver Ma’lik Richmond and quarterback Trent Mays, bragged about their exploits using a trifecta of social media that included Twitter, Instagram and YouTube, posting photos and videos of (and relating to) the unconscious victim.

Continue reading “Rape, Praise for Rapists and Threatening Rape Victims: Anything Goes in Steubenville”

Tiger Woods’ 5-Iron Officially Entangled in Lindsey Vonn’s Poles

Tiger Woods Lindsey Vonn facebook Sexting and golf champ Tiger Woods and injury-prone skier Lindsey Vonn confirmed the worst-kept secret that is their relationship by posting joint his and her statements along with a series of cheesy looking-off-into-the-distance photos on best-platform-for-secret-shattering Facebook.

Both made sure to mention that their friendship blossomed into a sporty romance in recent months, possibly because she was still technically married to Thomas Vonn up until January 9.

The couple also clarified that no one is frickin’ allowed to ask them about the intimate details. 

Continue reading “Tiger Woods’ 5-Iron Officially Entangled in Lindsey Vonn’s Poles”

Kraft is Proud That There’s Mold (and Not Worms) in Their Capri Sun

capri sun moldEarly in 2012, a woman appeared on the local news in South Carolina after finding what she thought was a worm in her son’s Capri Sun.

Kraft sent a slightly famous, very apathetic response basically telling her that their products contain warnings about such things, and due to the wonderful non-use of preservatives (“a fact that many moms like”), it’s common for mold to form if the pouch has been punctured.

That description had me picturing fermentation directly after the sharp end of the straw hits its target.

And you know fermentation equals alcohol, which equals drunk children (a perfect explanation for bad behavior).  Continue reading “Kraft is Proud That There’s Mold (and Not Worms) in Their Capri Sun”

Oregon Mall Gunman Jacob Tyler Roberts Said ‘I Am The Shooter’ Before Opening Fire

Jake Roberts gun tattooNew details on Tuesday’s Clackamas Mall shooting in Oregon have emerged. The gunman, who killed two (not including himself) and put one in the hospital, has been identified as Jacob Tyler Roberts.

22-year-old Roberts carried a semi-automatic rifle (believed to be an AR-15, one of the same weapons James Holmes used in Aurora) while wearing a white mask and a bulletproof vest.

A witness/Macy’s employee told the Associated Press that Roberts, who eventually shot himself outside of the REI, announced “I am the shooter” before firing.

The three victims have also been identified as 45-year-old West Linn native Steve Forsyth (deceased), 54-year-old Cindy Ann Yule of Portland (deceased), and Kristina Shevchenko (hospitalized).

Continue reading “Oregon Mall Gunman Jacob Tyler Roberts Said ‘I Am The Shooter’ Before Opening Fire”

Thousands of Facebook Users Fell For ‘Win $1M For Sharing This Post’ Powerball Trick

nolan-daniels-fake-ticketA man claiming to have just won $588 million in the lottery wrote that he would give $1 million to one lucky Facebook user who shared the post.

And share they did, over 707,000 times, not knowing that the man, Nolan Daniels, is a complete liar who couldn’t be bothered to photoshop the Powerball numbers in the right order.

One particularly eye-opening entry in the comment section was even worse than the hoax itself.

“Hey I shared and liked it! :) I heard rumors that the winner was black… but I much rather know it was you!” Alisa Willingham wrote.  Continue reading “Thousands of Facebook Users Fell For ‘Win $1M For Sharing This Post’ Powerball Trick”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [11-25-12]

Trickster replicates your Facebook profile picture and friend requests you. (Mashable)

Rihanna’s boobies are fake, photoshopped fake, that is. (Perez Hilton)

Playboy gives Marilyn Monroe the cover on the 50th anniversary of her death. (ONTD)

Daniel Craig blows smoke into Javier Bardem. (ohmyGAHH!)

Your second favorite train wreck is on Instagram, in a turban. (Fashion & Style)

Anne Hathaway admits to looking like a hungry gay man in Les Miserables. (Radar Online)

Charitable Charlie CraySheen handed Lindsay $100,000 to help with her tax problems. (TMZ)

To The People Who Bullied Amanda Todd…

Police were called to the home of 15-year-old Amanda Todd on October 10 after she committed suicide in her home in British Columbia.

A month before her death she posted a video called “My story: Struggling, bullying, suicide, self harm,” and it is basically a list of reasons why she took her life.

In 7th grade Todd sought attention on webcam chats. One man who the police are currently searching for coerced her into flashing him. When she refused to do more he sent a screenshot of her chest to her family and friends which, on top of some of the usual impulsive decisions most teens make (sleeping with a boy who had a girlfriend), led to her being bullied at school.  Continue reading “To The People Who Bullied Amanda Todd…”