John Travolta Doesn’t Bring His Hair to the Gym

John travolta baldCelebrities meet and snap photos with fans on a daily basis, so what’s unique about this encounter specifically? Well, two things… One, the fan in the photo confirmed that John Travolta works out at 3 a.m. and it warms my heart to know that he’s a night owl like myself and that successful people can stay up late and still get shit done, unless he fell asleep at like 7 p.m. and woke up super early, in which case he’s dead to me and I’m done saying all those masseuses were lying.

Continue reading “John Travolta Doesn’t Bring His Hair to the Gym”

Ryan Lochte Can’t Even Lift a Teenage Girl

London Olympics Swimming MenWater caveman Ryan Lochte was injured a few weeks ago in Florida when he failed to catch a fanatical teen girl who jumped into his arms.

It’s especially sad and surprising that Lochte tore not one but TWO ligaments in his knee while attempting to lift a 110-pound girl, because we all assumed he was more brawn than brains, and now we know he’s neither. From ESPN:

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — Olympian Ryan Lochte will miss next month’s Duel in the Pool, leaving the U.S. without its top male swimmer for the meet against a team of European all-stars.

Lochte tore a ligament and sprained another in his left knee on Nov. 3 after an excited teenage girl ran at him and the two fell over in Gainesville, Fla.

Maybe he got confused and thought the girl was his long lost daughter? Or a sandwich?

Aaron Carter Fan Photobombs Fellow Fan With Epic Sour Face

Aaron Carter upset fan Breaking news: Aaron Carter has fans. Still.

At a concert in Louisville at Phoenix Hill Tavern, Carter brought a woman who willingly bought tickets to see him on stage to wish her a happy birthday. Now check out the jealous chick in the front row, on the left.

That’s the face I make when my boyfriend cooks brussel sprouts in the microwave and the opposite of the face I make when I think about how I was never into Aaron Carter and his shameful cover of “I Want Candy.”

The lemon-lipped girl who also willingly bought tickets to see Nick Carter’s little bro in concert wrote a special message in the comments section of the photo that was posted to the singer’s Instagram.

I’m the girl on the left looking pissed! Haha I wasn’t pissed I was SO happy!!  Continue reading “Aaron Carter Fan Photobombs Fellow Fan With Epic Sour Face”

‘Fan’ Takes Chris Brown-Related Anger Out on Rihanna’s Knee

Rihanna bloody kneeOne second Rihanna‘s living Robyn’s “Dancing On My Own” in the corner of an L.A. nightclub opposite Chris Brown, the next she’s in London dodging bottles.

Rihanna scraped up her knee on a metal grate after partying it up with socialite model/Rita Ora bestie Cara Delvingn at a place called The Box. Eyewitnesses say a fan of unspecified gender threw an energy drink at her and scolded her for dating Chris Brown.

In a surprising twist, Rihanna went on a date with the fan the next day, then went on Good Morning America to talk about how wrong it was to forgive him/her, stayed away for a few years, then said ‘f*ck the people who care about me haters’ and went back to the verbally abusive bottle-tosser.  Continue reading “‘Fan’ Takes Chris Brown-Related Anger Out on Rihanna’s Knee”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [1-26-13]

LeBron James hugLeBron James tackles and suffocates fan after half-court shot victory. (Yahoo!)

Ottawa venue employee calls police over Justin Bieber‘s Nerf Gun. (TMZ)

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon sequel in the works. (Huffington Post)

Man who wrote Armageddon officially directing Star Wars VII. (Celebuzz)

Black men with criminal records not welcome on American Idol(Jezebel)

Superheroes pick, scratch and poop in “Secret Hero Life.” (Grouchy Muffin)

Beyonce scats at the inauguration in the latest Bad Lip Reading video. (ONTD!)

Ice-T Is A Honey Boo Boo Fan

Legendary gangster rapper and big-assed white lady marry-er Ice-T dropped by Late Night With Jimmy Fallon to talk about his home life and dogs and season 14 of Law & Order SVU (the 300th episode was just shot??) and one unlikely subject: Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.

“I love Honey Boo Boo Child. I didn’t like Toddlers & Tiaras because I thought that was like child abuse,” he told Fallon on Friday’s show.

“I think that’s the most realistic reality show on television, they don’t care. I like Sugar Bear, I like Glitzy the pig, Pumpkin. They do not care, they just so gangster with it, mom’s be sneezing and the sister’s like bananas.”  Continue reading “Ice-T Is A Honey Boo Boo Fan”

Man With Scissors And Candles Arrested At Miley Cyrus’ House

A man armed with scissors (not to be confused with “One Armed Scissor” by At The Drive-In) was arrested outside of Miley Cyrus‘s home on Saturday, but was he trying to kill her, or just fix her hair?

KTLA reports that the intruder was merely an over-exuberant fan named Jason Luis Rivera who told police he just wanted to “see” Miley.

Rivera faces burglary and trespassing charges (he hopped the security gate and lit candles in her yard).

“I am a friend of Miley Cyrus. I am. She’s my wife. Me and Miley have been friends for five years,” he told officers.

Continue reading “Man With Scissors And Candles Arrested At Miley Cyrus’ House”

Someone Wants To Kill Ellen Page (Blame The Gigantic Blonde Vampire)

No celebrity is safe from death threats, not even the 5’1″ Nova Scotian famous for playing a pregnant teenager in Diablo Cody’s Juno. According to a warrant obtained by TMZEllen Page has received multiple death threats.

The warrant allowed the LAPD to look at several Twitter accounts associated with messages from June. One read, “I’m going to murder Ellen Page. She’s dead.” Another, which indicates that the stalker is a woman, said:

 “Ellen Page if you continue to date Alexander I will K-1-L-L you in public in the next year … Be it in a club, at a game, in a restaurant, or when you’re signing autographs.”

Continue reading “Someone Wants To Kill Ellen Page (Blame The Gigantic Blonde Vampire)”

Whose Fans Have The Best Nickname?

Sometimes a fan is just a fan and other times, they’re, well, some god-awful name they were given or that they gave themselves.

It’s all the same kind of cancer.

Well, put your paws up, but not those paws. I’ve decided that Ke$ha‘s “Animals” win this game, but only because it’s the most fitting and least horrible name to say outloud

Worst has to be Courtney Stodden (Stoddenistas) for even thinking she’s cool enough to name her fans, and Chris Brown for having fans at all, especially female ones. That kind of stupidity deserves a rural county fair cow ribbon.

Let’s review all the options, and I’ll let you decide (comment below)  Continue reading “Whose Fans Have The Best Nickname?”

Everclear To Headline ‘Summerland Tour With Sugar Ray, Plus The Bitter Tale Of A Scorned Fan

A select group of people just had a post-grunge pre-emo orgasm. Everclear are officially headlining a 90’s and early 2000’s themed concert with Sugar Ray playing before them, followed by Lit, Gin Blossoms and Marcy Playground.

I guess The Offspring, Third Eye Blind, Presidents Of The USA, Local H and Eve 6 were busy. Personally I don’t think Sugar Ray or Marcy Playground fit here.

Mark McGrath with songs like “Fly” and “Every Morning” seems much more pop than rock and Marcy Playground only had one hit in “Sex And Candy.”

I have beef with Art Alexakis, frontman of Everclear. I’m a huge fan, especially Sparkle And Fade and So Much For The Afterglow, but the Summerland Tour is not coming to Oregon or Washington, odd considering Art lived in Portland for over a decade.  Continue reading “Everclear To Headline ‘Summerland Tour With Sugar Ray, Plus The Bitter Tale Of A Scorned Fan”

Lady Gaga Is Rooting For The Giants, Parent’s Restaurant Sucks

Mrs. Ra Ra, who has been seen at Giants games watering the stands with champagne and Tweeting things like “Giants fan but wow. #Tebow that’s what the fuck a champion looks like” had her photo taken by the glorious Terry Richardson for the millionth time.

Richardson wrote the caption “Lady Gaga holding a football… Go Giants!”

News for Gaga includes this obvious nonsense, that she’s from New York and not voting for the Pats but also that her dad’s restaurant, ‘Joanne Trattoria,’ opened.

Menu items include Papa Joe’s Chicken and Grandma Ronnie’s Meatballs. “Grandma Ronnie” is, by the way, my favorite name ever. I’m going to call one of my nerdy Avernum: Escape From The Pit characters that.  Continue reading “Lady Gaga Is Rooting For The Giants, Parent’s Restaurant Sucks”

‘Fridging’ Is The New Planking

Yesterday Nicki Minaj and her fans created what could easily be the new “Planking.” (A trend that entailed lying face down arms to sides on top of mundane objects or high places)

“Fridging” started after the little pink bubblegum alien Ms. Minaj posted a glamour shot (above) of herself, halfway wedged in the refrigerator.

This sparked her fans to send pictures of themselves in the fridge via Twitter, including some celebs like MC Heems from Das Racist, plus an older picture of Snooki….

Continue reading “‘Fridging’ Is The New Planking”

Hey Gamers, Chad Ochocinco Wants To Live With You

Famously eccentric, newly-appointed Patriots wide receiver has made a new and semi-hilarious statement. After being asked about his new-found Boston surroundings he replied casually,

“I’m going to do something different, I’m actually going to stay with a fan for the first two, three weeks of the season,” Chad said after today’s practice. “That should be fun, until I get myself acclimated and learn my way around.”

The lady reporter proceeded to ask him if he was being serious and he responded by saying, “Have I ever lied to you before?”

Then went on to add,

“I’m not sure how it’s going to work, but they have to have Internet and have to have Xbox…That’s about it.”

I think he’s serious and I think he’ll do it, he’s been known to pull crazy stunts for media attention, to expanding the visibility of his brand. This trade to The Patriots obviously isn’t going to make him any tamer, same old Chad Johnson I remember, Twitter-joking, reality-show-having, bull-riding comedian that we all know and love. Or hate? Either way.

Hello roomie, let's play Call of Duty: Black Ops. No I don't have any pants, are you crazy?

 

 

 

 

 

Watch Chad’s interview HERE on ESPN.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Chad Ochocinco Johnson, XBOX Live Gamertag = esteban 85, too bad his friends list is fuller than cannibalistic Kirstie Alley]