Oprah Winfrey Reveals Lifelong Fear of Balloons

Oprah BalloonsFor the spooky Halloween issue of O, Oprah admits she has always been afraid of the sound of balloons popping, just as I am afraid of hoards of greedy clapping middle-aged women with bingo wings. And clowns. Oh wait, same thing.

“I don’t like balloons, and for my 40th birthday my entire staff decided to surprise me,” 59-year-old Winfrey recalls. “I come downstairs and the entire audience is filled with balloons. Literally, I’m stepping over balloons, having to walk through balloons and I’m so, like, ‘Oh! When is one going to pop?'”

What’s worse, this or Tyra’s fear of dolphins? Probably Tyra’s thing because sometimes you can’t get out of a child’s birthday party without a really good excuse, but going to Sea World is never mandatory unless a dying child asks you to go for Make-A-Wish. Or if you’re a really smart parent, you get your kid to ask Tyra AND Oprah to go to Sea World on their birthday and you tie balloons to the dolphins, get a bowl of popcorn and watch those bitches howl.

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Justin Bieber Is Obsessed With The Movie ‘Fear’

You know that movie from 1996 where Sarah McLachlan cuts off Mark Wahlberg’s head and shoves it through a doggy-door after he harms an innocent German Shepard? Fear. That’s the one.

Alright, that’s not exactly what happened but I really hate reminiscing about movies with notorious animal-torture scenes so I just replace those memories with images of Canada’s melodic sweetheart and supporter of the ASPCA kicking human ass and taking names.

Preferably with a machete. Or a plate of poutine balanced on a machete tied to a hockey stick with a handle wrapped in discarded liner notes from Surfacing.

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Travis Barker Needs Hypnotherapy To Fly Again

Travis Barker opened up about his 2008 plane crash that left him and collaborator DJ AM (Adam Goldstein, who passed away in 2009) with critical injuries

The Blink-182 drummer who recently changed to a more healthy lifestyle that includes running and swimming and a vegan diet, says that his understandable fear of flying is hindering his professional life as a musician:

“Unfortunately I can’t do as much touring as I would like because I don’t fly, it’s an obstacle. I’m working on it though. I’m trying to get hypnotised, trying to talk to a doctor who retrains your brain. Maybe he’ll help me fly again one day…”

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