Ermahgerd I Need Somebody to Hibernate With Until ‘Game of Thrones’ Comes Back

With four major deaths and a fight scene just as epic as the Mountain/Viper showdown, the Game of Thrones finale was everything we hoped for except that it was only the 10th episode and that one guy who was evil but oddly likable totally croaked either by a crossbow bolt or a sword/falling down a hill.

But honestly, how on earth will you spend your Sunday nights now that Thrones is over??

I know I’ll be parading around pretending like this will be the finale that causes me to read all the Song of Ice and Fire books as soon as I have a free second. (Which is never, because I’m always busier scratching my nose until my brain leaks out.) Continue reading “Ermahgerd I Need Somebody to Hibernate With Until ‘Game of Thrones’ Comes Back”

Sue Me, I Thought ‘The Walking Dead’ Finale Was Really F*cking Boring

cargo container train car The Walking Dead finale
As anyone with a TV, Facebook or even the most snail-paced internet connection knows – The Walking Dead season 4 finale was on last night.

Considering how uneventful and equally or less exciting than every other non-finale episode, I’m baffled by the amount of websites that called it “shocking,” “exciting” and “brutal.” (Spoilers ahead.)

Carl almost getting raped? – not shocking because we knew it would never happen. Rick being reunited with the gang? – not shocking because we knew it would happen. Rick taking advice from a dead man…? No.
Rick and Daryl season 4 finale still
The real shocker was that nobody died. Not Glenn (dead in the comic) or Maggie (what I expected) or even the new characters, and that the craziest events of the season didn’t occur when the gang ended up trapped in a train car together, but two episodes ago, when crazy-eyed Lizzie exclaimed “Don’t worry, she’ll come back. I didn’t hurt her brain,” after murdering her younger sister.  Continue reading “Sue Me, I Thought ‘The Walking Dead’ Finale Was Really F*cking Boring”

‘Jersey Shore’ Series Finale Means More Spinoffs For Snooki, JWoww, Vinny and Pauly

Snooki and Jwoww season 2The 71st and final episode of Jersey Shore aired on Thursday, Dec. 20 and means the beginning of the end of eight careers, a process that is set in motion by MTV spinoff shows for the more marketable cast members.

A trailer for Control The Crazy author and Jersey Shore Shark Attack star Vinny Guadagnino’s “hybrid talk/reality series” called The Show With Vinny aired during the reunion.

The sneak peek revealed that celebrities (like Lil’ Wayne) will be embarrassed by his uncle Nino joining him and his crazy family for dinner in Staten Island.  Continue reading “‘Jersey Shore’ Series Finale Means More Spinoffs For Snooki, JWoww, Vinny and Pauly”

Perez Hilton Says Lindsay Lohan Was ‘Over Four Hours Late’ To Work On ‘Glee’

Perez Hilton dropped by Howard Stern‘s radio show to talk about his off-Broadway play NEWSical The Musical where he brought up Lindsay Lohan, who he worked with in the season three “Nationals” episode of Glee.

Producers (and the actress who plays Coach Beiste) were so frustrated with Lohan’s beyond-casual approach to work that they refused to call her by her name, referring to her as “that girl” (as in “that girl is making us late again”).

Even after being specifically notified by director Eric Stoltz to memorize all her lines “off-book,” Lindsay still had to be repeatedly reminded. Hilton also said that an extra day of filming was added due to her behavior.

Continue reading “Perez Hilton Says Lindsay Lohan Was ‘Over Four Hours Late’ To Work On ‘Glee’”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [8-27-12]

Fairy babies, incest, and exploding vamps. It’s the True Blood season 5 finale! (Rolling Stone)

Emma Stone gets futuristic in new photo shoot. (Interview Magazine)

Playboy playmate Sara Underwood films sexual Carl’s Jr. commercial. (G4)

Rosie O’Donnell secretly got married back in June. (People)

Here’s a picture of a moth that looks a heck of a lot like a poodle. (Grind Tv)

Frank Ocean will perform at MTV Video Music Awards. (Idolator)

The sole male Kardashian is flirting up a storm with Rihanna. (E! Online)

Piers Morgan almost punched by John Edwards’ mistress Rielle Hunter. (Extra)

A million Princess Leias in one place. Of course it’s a Star Wars convention. (io9)

Lindsay Lohan may or may not have stolen a bunch of jewelry. (TMZ)

Lady Gaga On ‘The Simpsons’ Finale

Lady Gaga will appear on today’s episode (8 pm Eastern Time) of The Simpsons on Fox. The show holds the Guinness World Record for Most Guest Stars Featured in a TV Series, but that might be because it’s been on for a whopping 23 seasons, since 1989.

Gaga’s episode will feature 18 costume changes, Maggie as “Baby GooGoo,” a smooch with Marge, and a storyline that involves cheering up Lisa through the power of (a Lonely Island-approved) song.

Continue reading “Lady Gaga On ‘The Simpsons’ Finale”

The Most Inappropriate Kardashian TV Moment Ever?

“Inappropriate” and “Kardashian” in one sentence feels like a very redundant oxymoron. Anyone who watches the show knows this is one weird family, and I’m not talking about brains or selfishness.

The sisters (and Rob) are constantly de-pantsing and groping each other while talking in detail about sex and every other thing I would never consider discussing with my family.

On the finale of Khloe & Lamar, Khloe considers getting a DNA test to find out is she is in fact Robert Kardashian’s biological daughter.  Continue reading “The Most Inappropriate Kardashian TV Moment Ever?”

My Take On American Horror Story’s Yet-To-Be-Aired Season Finale Shocker

American Horror Story is filmed beautifully, has an excellent cast of both younger and older actors (Jessica Lange, Taissa Farmiga) and continuously surprises fans week-to-week. The problem is, almost all the main characters are dead. Connie Britton’s caring mother character just entered the netherworld after giving birth to at least one ghost baby.

I’m not even kidding, she had two babies and then she died. As far as I can tell, Ben Harmon (Dylan McDermott) and Constance Langdon (Lange) are the only two living characters. Oh, and the burn victim who walks like one of the wicked witch’s winged monkey slaves.

Continue reading “My Take On American Horror Story’s Yet-To-Be-Aired Season Finale Shocker”

There Are Cyborgs On ‘Breaking Bad’ Now (Spoilers)

Okay, obviously the thing I’m about to spoil isn’t the fact that there are robots on Breaking Bad, it’s a show about a high school teacher who starts cooking meth, not some Star Wars fantasy.

The season 4 finale of AMC’s hit show had a very surprising ending, our protagonist Walter White finally sees his mortal enemy Gus Fring get what he deserves, though the scene left me visually shocked and perturbed…

Continue reading “There Are Cyborgs On ‘Breaking Bad’ Now (Spoilers)”

Adrian Grenier Bids Farewell To Entourage

I don’t want to go too crazy explaining how awful and rushed the Entourage series finale was. Let’s just say, the dialogue was cheesier than if you combined all the food from Taco Bell and Pizza Hut into one menu item.

The “story” wasn’t so hot either. I don’t want to spoil too much, but family life doesn’t go with Entourage. After eight seasons, I expect more from HBO – this was a testosterone-fest turned pajama party.

“Vince” aka Adrian Grenier took to his Facebook yesterday to express his feelings on the show’s end….

Continue reading “Adrian Grenier Bids Farewell To Entourage”

True Blood Finale Summary Quote


In episode 12 of True Blood season four on HBO, a bunch of the usual Sunday ridiculousness took place. Marnie is finally gone and three reoccurring characters died. (I think)

The summary quote for the finale occurs when a crap load of ghosts come out of the woodwork, including Sookie’s gran, Marnie, Antonia (the ancient witch) and later Rene and one of the people who died in the episode. 

“All my life I’ve been afraid.”

-Marnie, the whiny/obvious sorceress

and, runner-up to vampire Pam for,

“I am so over sookie and her precious fairy vagina.”

All the while, Bill and Eric are roasting like Boy Scout marshmallows…

Continue reading “True Blood Finale Summary Quote”

Kris Humphries On His Knees

The season finale of Keeping Up With The Kardashians on Sunday, September 4, revealed Kris Humphries’ proposal. Typical rose petals and a ring-the size of Saturn. Surprisingly, he’s actually shorter than her when he’s on his knees.

…Though I refuse to believe that she isn’t standing on an incline and wearing five inch heels.

Also check out pictures of Kris and Kim’s wedding. (I wonder if it’s weird for them that he shares a name with her mother?)