Shailene Woodley’s Naturopathic, Organic Lifestyle is Refreshing and Oddly Charming

Shailene Woodley Flaunt 2013
Shailene Woodley is one of my people. Like the daughter of one of my mom’s friends, foraging for roots and saving mouse bones and and analyzing owl poop. You know her, right?

She played Clooney’s troublemaking daughter in The Descendants and the goody two-shoes girlfriend in the realistic and touching no-nonsense indie drama The Spectacular Now. She’s also been cast as Mary Jane in the third Amazing Spider-Man movie.

I’m not saying she’s a serial killer with that bone and poop stuff, to be clear. I’m saying she’s a lovable, wonderfully eccentric hippie who cares about the earth and being spiritual without judging anyone and not leaving a carbon footprint and all that other stuff that seems so cheesy and kind of makes you want to puke because you know you’re inferior and couldn’t live without 2% beef and 98% possum organ Taco Bell meat.

Here’s a word about her not-very-American eating and living habits, from Flaunt:

I think everything about my lifestyle is fairly alternative,” says the star. “I gather my own spring water from mountains every month. I go to a farm to get my food. I make everything from my own toothpaste to my own body lotions and face oils.”

Woodley continued, “I make my own medicines; I don’t get those from doctors. I make my own cheese and forage wild foods and identify wild plants. It’s an entire lifestyle. It’s appealing to my soul.”

You go girl. Rubbing mercury on your face is no bueno. Put a stick in cancer’s spokes and let the sweet sweet dirty brown chicken eggs enter your basket.
Woodley Flaunt b&w
Nothing sexual going on here at all. I would say it’s one hippie to another but I eat way too much candy and light milk anti-antioxidant chocolate to identify as anything but a gluttonous technology-addicted slob.

I Look More Like Beyonce than Beyonce on Flaunt Magazine

Beyonce photoshopped flaunt Beyonce chatted up Flaunt Magazine about Pepsi and pizza and posed for some futuristic photos that just look absolutely nothing like her. Tyra Banks maybe, or Vivica A. Fox, but Bey? No. Anything to do with Pepsi and aliens gets me thinking and (laughing) about that amazing Lana Del Rey drag queen parody. (“I guess you could say I’m like the gangster Nancy Sinatra in that, like, she’s not a gangster and I’m not a Sinatra.”)

I know there’s constant talk of magazines photoshopping models and celebrities, but what about all the “artistic” shoots that still airbrush and morph everyone into barely human fossils of their former selves? They just get a pass, orrrr?

Who am I to talk though? I stay up until 5:00 a.m. with a goal of eventually melting the skin on my eyelids away until I look like the mutant baby from Total Recall.  Continue reading “I Look More Like Beyonce than Beyonce on Flaunt Magazine”

Evan Rachel Wood For Flaunt Magazine

Evan Rachel Wood, who got her break in the independent drama/parental horror movie Thirteen with Nikki Reed, covers the 13th anniversary of Flaunt Magazine baring skin from both the front and back, and I don’t mean pages.

Matthew Bedard follows Wood as she visits a psychic, Madame Paulina, who tells her with little insight that she and her partner (Jamie Bell) must “discover balance and not be overwhelmed by each other’s successes.” It’s Rachel’s remarks, and not the sideshow witch’s that are truly intelligent.

“I don’t want to be ruled by fear, I think fear and guilt are man’s greatest enemy. One thing I do get a lot is people telling me I’m fearless, and I hope so, because I never want anything to keep me from doing what I feel is right.”

Continue reading “Evan Rachel Wood For Flaunt Magazine”