Gaga Meeting Brit Actress and Style Icon June Brown is the Best Thing You’ll See This Week

June Brown Lady Gaga Graham Norton I’m not telling you to forget about BatKid, twin bonds or the bundled-up toddler’s reaction to ice, but Lady Gaga met her match in EastEnders star June Brown on the most recent episode of The Graham Norton Show on BBC America and it was fantastic.

First off, it’s always fun seeing Gaga interact with non-Little Monster humans, but no guest – not interviewee Jude Law or interviewer – has ever given her as much of a run for her money as Brown, who gave no f*cks in fur and jokingly lectured Gaga on the dangers of the lyric “do what you want with my body.”

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Lady Gaga Ascending to Outer Space in 2015

Lady Gaga grammy space outfitSince her first CD and break into the industry, Lady Gaga has seemed too big for this world. From her outfits and attitude to her day-long birth from an egg, the ultimate metaphor for ego will finally come to fruition in 2015, when she ventures into space on a Virgin Galactic ship, courtesy of Richard Branson.

Gaga is reportedly scheduled to perform above New Mexico for the mysterious Zero G Colony festival, which is described as “a music experience that is truly out of this world” on the official website.

A source says she will have to prepare with extra lung-strengthening vocal training the month before, to prepare for the pressure change. ANDDD maybe she’ll stay in space until she comes up with new material and stops releasing b-sides from The Fame falsely packaged as new material. (At least that would explain the R. Kelly duet.)

Gays Stay Gay After Gaga Flashes Goodies

Lady gaga naked gay club 2013Gaga fans in London put their hands up and made ’em touch during a surprise performance at the Soho club G-A-Y.

If you were to ask 99.9% of that audience if they were more excited to hear her single “Venus” or see her naked body, well…. you know. It doesn’t help that she’s gone from borderline sexy in the videos for “Telephone” and “LoveGame” to Miracle Max’s swamp witch wife.

“Just saw LadyGaga do a surprise set at G-A-Y. She got her arse out & showed her vagina. All agrees it was impressive but we’re staying gay,” comedian Matt Lucas tweeted.

She got dat Thanksgiving turkey ass, and “Venus” is only slightly less underwhelming than THIS.

Continue reading “Gays Stay Gay After Gaga Flashes Goodies”

R. Kelly Leaves Lasting Piss Stain on ARTPOP

Lady Gaga ass R. Kelly Speaking of asses, Lady Gaga duets with R. Kelly on her hotly anticipated third album, ARTPOP, in a song called “Do What U Want.”

If you’re asking “why?,” keep in mind that Gaga is like all perfectionist pop stars in that she doesn’t like being overshadowed by others. This is why she’s never toured with anyone particularly special, and, with the exception of Beyonce, collaborates with irrelevant weirdos like R. Kelly, New Kids on the Block and Colby O’Donis (“Just Dance”).

With lyrics about roughing up haters and not being sorry, the song is truly horrible.

My favorite part is the chorus, which goes something like “You can’t have my heart and you won’t use my mind, but do what you want with my body,” because it’s basically an open invitation for R. Kelly to open his fly and pee all over her sad white chest.

Lady Gaga Reveals ARTPOP Tracklist

ARTPOP cover Lady Gaga has been quite the busy bee this week, unveiling her ARTPOP album art in Times Square as well as the entire 15-song tracklist and a new song from Robert Rodriguez’s Machete Kills soundtrack, which hits theaters tomorrow and features Gaga in her acting debut as the mysterious temptress La Chameleón.

The titles are a sort of personalized Scrabble board of obvious Gaga-esque obsessions (Versace, manicures, fashion) and super duper artsy stuff like drugs and wet dreams. Really Gaga, Mary Jane Holland? …Most obvious weed reference EVER.

1. Aura
2. Venus
3. G.U.Y.
4. Sexxx Dreams
5. Jewels N’ Drugs (featuring T.I., Too $hort, and Twista)
7. Do What U Want (featuring R. Kelly)
9. Swine
10. Donatella
11. Fashion!
12. Mary Jane Holland
13. Dope
14. Gypsy
15. Applause

Lady Gaga’s Got a Secret, But What the %&#! Is It?

Lady Gaga naked v magazineLady Gaga has a secret and the state of New York is gonna keep it, save it, lock it in their pocket and take it to the grave….

Nosy bitches have learned that Gaga begged a judge to seal damning documents involving her former producer and songwriting partner, Rob Fusari and Wendy Starland, who are often credited for “discovering” the phenom.

You don’t create the thing you discover, but congrats to Rob and Wendy for using their eyes and ears, I guess. Anyway, I have no idea what the secret is, and that makes it fun.

What else could we possibly learn about the cocaine-doing, eating disorder and daddy issue-having singer of Madonna and Queen-influenced pop?

It’s obviously about the penis or tail she had removed. We’ve seen her entire vagina in Japanese Vogue, so what on earth would she not feel comfortable sharing? Sex tape? Michael Jackson, Tupac and Elvis are alive and playing dominos together in her condo? She has a team of lookalikes who perform in her stead, like Natalie Portman and Keira Knightley in The Phantom Menace? HELP ME.

Gaga Becomes Lady Gulliver In New Perfume Ad

Lady Gaga tweeted a link to the above advertisement for her perfume, “Fame,” on her new Social Networking site on Monday.

See how she kills two black ostriches with one stone? Promoting her Bowie-esque perfume AND her website at the same time? Smart woman.  Continue reading “Gaga Becomes Lady Gulliver In New Perfume Ad”

Now It’s Ra Ra Lady Gaga’s Birthday

On this date in history the queen of America was born, the day after Mariah Carey and Fergie Ferg and the very same as Xena and Führer Elle MacPherson.

Lady Gaga has had so many memorable moments since 2008 that I have trouble naming one in particular.

Instead, I posted this picture of her from a few days earlier with no makeup plus a sad piece of cake that someone who hated her must have bought at Chuck E. Cheese for New York adults. I’ll never forget how amazing The Fame was but I’ll also never wash the lingering scent of mediocrity, failed controversy attempts and successful stabs at narcissism on Born This Way. 

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Lady Gaga’s Big Manly VMA Surprise

Well, we’ve been hearing for a week now that we were going to see something from Lady Gaga that we’ve “never seen before” at the VMAs. My thought was, well, of course we’re going to see something we’ve never seen before. It’s the first 2011 VMAs ever, that’s different right there.

So her big surprise is – she came out on stage at  the beginning of the show dressed as her male alter ego Jo Calderone and sang her piano ballad “You & I.” Brian May from Queen even came out to play guitar for her.

Basically she just talked WAY too much, blew puffs of smoke and looked exactly like the girl who dresses up in drag in 1985’s Just One Of The Guys and also the desperate girl gang member in Westside Story.

Oh, also, Justin Bieber made a face like someone had just skinned his mom. Poor kid, terrorized by Al Pacino with a vagina on the day of the VMAs!

Creepy Lady Gaga Snuff Pictures (NSFW)

I mentioned previously in my Lady Gaga Is A Man (For Her “You & I” Single) article that matron monster had been in Japanese Vogue in 2009 where she debuted her male Pacino alter Jo Calderone…

Well now some very interesting outtakes from the photo shoot are being released.

And when you look at them, don’t worry, I also felt like I was being shown police evidence photos that once fell out of a sex offender’s “secret” album…

Ever hear that song, “Teenage Enema Nurses In Bondage?” Well, this is more “Legal Lady G In A Hogtie.”

So, yes, no more delaying, here are some graphic pictures of Lady Gaga, there’s a shot of her balls, or proof of ball absence I guess, and also some Bisquick boobs…

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