If Only Justin Bieber Loved Masks as Much as I Love Him in a Mask

Justin bieber mask Justin Bieber prepared for clinical warfare yesterday during a shopping trip in London. In an attempt to hide from the paparazzi, Justin wore a black gas mask and a Nets cap.

I’d like to start a petition to keep Justin masked. Not even a joke, I promise. This is for safety.

He’s constantly being hounded by girls who’ve never heard of ‘N Sync, and I’m constantly forced to look at him.

Two questions. Do the masks (the one on the right is from last year) muffle his voice? And does he think anyone actually believes that there’s some other scrawny, gold chain-wearing white boy being followed by cameras?

Continue reading “If Only Justin Bieber Loved Masks as Much as I Love Him in a Mask”

Neuroscience Student Kills 12 ‘Dark Knight’ Audience Members, Has Millions Talking Gun Control

Almost everyone who considered going, or did go to a midnight showing of Batman this morning just experienced a spine-tingling moment of silence and selfish relief.

At around 12:30 a.m., a 24-year-old UC Denver student wearing ballistic armor and a gas mask named James Eagan Holmes brought a machine gun to a Century theater in Colorado and killed 12.

Over fifty of the people in the Denver suburb of Aurora were injured, mostly from gunshot wounds, though some suffered chemical burns from what the police called a “smoke device.”  Continue reading “Neuroscience Student Kills 12 ‘Dark Knight’ Audience Members, Has Millions Talking Gun Control”