Demi Lovato Fails To Kiss A Girl In ‘Cool For The Summer’ Video

People love to compare the potentially bi-curious Demi Lovato single ‘Cool For The Summer’ to ‘I Kissed A Girl‘ by Katy Perry, but the songs really aren’t that similar, and Lovato has further proven that point by sidestepping the expected, cliché opportunity to make out with a girl in the music video.

I repeat, Demi Lovato doesn’t kiss a girl in ‘Cool For The Summer,’ which would be fine if the final product wasn’t so boring. Seriously, platonic girlfriends are so last year.

There is one part where she grabs a girl’s head and leans in, but without actual proof let’s be jerks and assume they’re just besties.

Kim and Kanye are Having a Girl Because Kardashian Eggs are Rigged

Kim and Kanye's baby memeIt was revealed on the groundbreaking first episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians season 8 that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s baby does not have a “peepee” and is therefore a girl. (I’m a very mathematical thinker.)

Kardashian males, with the exception of Mason and Rob (fellow outcast Khloe probably felt bad for him and fished him out), are traditionally thrown away like female Chinese babies, so OBVIOUSLY it’s a girl.

If it wasn’t, they’d abort or tie cement to it’s chubby feet and throw it in the L.A. River to either die or be secretly raised by The Toxic Avenger, The Penguin or Tom Green.

It’s all about prolonging a legacy. In fact, I think they’re contractually obligated by E! to drown and/or bury alive at least three Kardashian and Jenner boys a year.  Continue reading “Kim and Kanye are Having a Girl Because Kardashian Eggs are Rigged”

The Guy Who Played Fitch in ‘American Pie’ Has VERY Questionable Taste in Real-Life Women

Eddie Kaye Thomas American ReunionYou know Eddie Kaye Thomas exclusively as Fitch, the guy who seduced Stifler’s mom in American Pie.

Thomas made the news this week after a woman he met at a diner slept over at his house, became dissatisfied, pulled a knife on him and refused to leave his home in Hollywood Hills.

Kaye’s bad judgment cost the police five and a half hours of their time, plus flash grenades and tear gas.

First mistake: not frisking her at the door. Next time you’re thinking about having a one night stand, pat them down. Pretend it’s a game. You’re the SWAT team and she’s the Bay Harbor Butcher.

Consider distributing a multiple choice examination to test your potential partner’s mental state. Lastly, look into her eyes. The window to the crazy. (Click here for a photo of the woman.)

Kanye West Has A Sex Tape And The Girl Looks Like Kim (But Isn’t)

Apparently, Kanye West has more in common with Kim Kardashian than an inflated ego. ‘Ye also has a sex tape, and the girl in the it is a “dead ringer” for Kim.

According to Radar Online, the tape is around 20 minutes long and was shot in a hotel room with a girl who says she’s 18 and married.

“My husband and I don’t have sex anymore… that’s why I’m here,” she says.

The website states that the young woman has “bodacious curves, dusky skin and long black hair.” 

Ugh, remember the various episodes of Keeping Up With The Kardashians where Kim cried over her sex tape with Ray J? We’re about to see a whole new batch of tears…  Continue reading “Kanye West Has A Sex Tape And The Girl Looks Like Kim (But Isn’t)”

Video: Justin Bieber – As Long As You Love Me Feat. Big Sean

There aren’t a lot of ways to argue that Justin Bieber isn’t a boy bander gone solo who just happened to never be in a boy band. He’s everything I remember from the Lou Pearlman days of my youth.

But, he was “created” strictly by his 18-year-old mother instead of a fat man with a Lance bAss fetish. Now he’s so “Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman…” Eighteen, and not caring that “As Long As You Love Me” is already the name of a Backstreet Boys song released three years after he was born.  Continue reading “Video: Justin Bieber – As Long As You Love Me Feat. Big Sean”

Ryan Gosling Admits To Total Femininity

In an interview with Ryan Gosling for The Independent, many fascinating topics were covered including his ballet skills, child/woman hood and new movie, The Ides Of March. Here are the two highlights:

“I think like a girl, I think. I was literally raised by my mother and my sister. And I just feel like I wouldn’t know how to think any other way. My sister was my best friend and my hero growing up. Because I was home-schooled I didn’t have a lot of friends and I did ballet, which was always just girls. All of that had an effect on my brain.” 

Continue reading “Ryan Gosling Admits To Total Femininity”

Beyonce’s Loudmouth Friend Reveals The Sex Of Her Baby

The sex of Beyonce’s fetus diva has officially been disclosed! This top secret information comes to us via – DUN DUN DUN – a close personal friend of Jay-Z and Beyonce.

Why are people’s “close friends” always giving the press spoilers and handing out top secret information as if it were poisoned candy corn on All Hallow’s Eve?

Either they’re not their real friends or they’re starved for cash because their famous acquaintances hoard cash in a room the size of Madonna’s organic food cupboard, errr house.

Continue reading “Beyonce’s Loudmouth Friend Reveals The Sex Of Her Baby”

UK Woman’s Implant Explodes During Paintball

After a 26 year-old British woman’s implant burst during paintball, the company, UK Paintball, decided to quickly rewrite their policies. The front page of their website contains a humorous statement:

“Due to an incident at our Croydon Paintballing centre on Saturday 20 August 2011 we respectfully ask that any ladies with surgical breast implants notify our team at the time of booking. You will be given special information on the dangers of paintballing with enhanced boobs and asked to sign a disclaimer. You will also be issued with extra padding to protect your implants while paintballing. Thank you for your cooperation…”  Continue reading “UK Woman’s Implant Explodes During Paintball”

Top 5 Soulful White Ladies

I listen to all sorts of music but still find myself surprised at how soulful certain white women are capable of being. When you’re casually sitting around listening to a song you naturally get a certain vision of someone. Like when I first heard Gin Wigmore, there was that assumption, I just knew she was a black lady, with an amazing voice. Same with Amy Winehouse…

When I first heard “You Know I’m No Good,” a skinny Jewish/British woman with pin-up tattoos and a black beehive hairdo just isn’t what flew into my imagination. With these artists, I’m too busy listening to their voices to really really consider anything, there’s just a fleeting moment when you decide they’re soulful black women serenading you.

Here is a list of the top five most soulful white ladies of fairly recent years…

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Gavin DeGraw Could NEVER Date This Girl

So I’m sitting on my couch watching Jump Start on VH1 at 3:30 a.m. and some new Gavin DeGraw video pops up, first off, I didn’t know he was even still alive let alone releasing new music? I remember hearing his song “I Don’t Want To Be” and “Chariot” over and over and over in 2005, so naturally I was rather happy when his bizarre fedora-obsessed ass disappeared off the face of the earth. (He’s like Train, but worse)

Continue reading “Gavin DeGraw Could NEVER Date This Girl”