Justin Bieber Serenaded His Grandma NAKED (Yeah, You Heard Me)

justin bieber naked guitarWhat could be more gross and lobotomy-worthy than these photos of naked Justin Bieber covering his wee maple schlong with a sunburst guitar in front of his grandmother on Turkey Day?

TMZ guesses that Justin did this last November as some kind of prank because any excuse to put things down his pants or pull his pants and shirt completely off is the right kind of excuse. (And nudity and family just go so well together.)

Notice anything strange about the picture on the left besides the obvious? …It’s just that Justin is approximately 5’7″, putting the grandmother at about three feet.

Okay fine, taking the step down into account, 4’1.” She’s still a Hobbit.  Continue reading “Justin Bieber Serenaded His Grandma NAKED (Yeah, You Heard Me)”

Granny Love Hewitt Calls Jennifer Love a ‘Ho’

Jennifer Love Hewitt GrandmaGrandmothers like to distort reality, assuming every minor hiccup is that moment in War of the Worlds when the aliens suck Tom Cruise into that giant human chicken basket.

Tommy hasn’t come home yet? He’s not just dead, he’s been kidnapped by a sodomizing suicide cult.

Put yourself in Jennifer Love Hewitt’s grandma’s shoes. On Sundays, she watches her jugtastic granddaughter give handjobs in a see-through nightgown for sofa pennies.

The senior Hewitt actually has a better sense of humor about The Client List than you or I would expect, jokingly calling her precious J-Love a “ho.”

“She likes it,” JLH told Ellen. “She ignores the parts that she doesn’t like and pretends like they’re not happening but she calls me her ‘little TV ho.’ And she thinks that’s really funny.”  Continue reading “Granny Love Hewitt Calls Jennifer Love a ‘Ho’”

Cissy Houston Gives Up On Blocking Bobbi Kristina’s Inheritance

The family drama between Whitney Houston‘s mom and daughter has come to a halt, for the moment.

TMZ reports that Cissy Houston has finally given up on trying to keep her granddaughter, Bobbi Kristina, from acquiring her mother’s fortune, a whopping $20 million dollars. Now BK can pay for all her wedding expenses. You know, the flowers, live music from Jordin Sparks (free), and the cake with the plastic figures of her and her brother on top…

I’m reminding you of the brother thing because I was watching The Talk last week and the ladies were saying how Kristina’s relationship on The Houstons: On Our Own with her not-blood-related brother, Nick Gordon, isn’t that creepy and people need to pipe down.  Continue reading “Cissy Houston Gives Up On Blocking Bobbi Kristina’s Inheritance”

69 Year-Old Grandma Scares Away Robber With Knife

Barbara Lane, a restaurant manager in Oregon, was working late when a robber burst in and tried to threaten her. Lane, 69, wasn’t having it. She fought back ferociously, scaring the man off by brandishing a blade.

The Oregonian reports that Barbara Lane was reading a mystery novel behind the counter of the New China Garden Restaurant in SE Portand when a 30-something year-old man wearing a bandana over his face, came in at around midnight. Lane says,

“He just flipped the door open and made a run to jump over the counter. I just automatically grabbed my chair. I was going to hit him with it…”

Continue reading “69 Year-Old Grandma Scares Away Robber With Knife”