Video: Britney Spears – “Perfume”

Britney’s new single almost has better lyrics than “Phonography” from Circus (“I like my bluetooth, buttons comin’ loose”) and “Email My Heart” (self-explanatory) from …Baby One More Time.

In “Perfume” Britney is the other woman, singing “I hope she smells my perfume” and “I want it all over you, I’m gonna mark my territory.” All because of some bitch named Cindy.
Britney Spears Perfume still 1
OF COURSE Britney strips down to sexy granny panties and sprays Fantasy all over her stomach.

Anna Faris Wears Costco Granny Panties

There’s almost no one funnier than Anna Faris. People want to say Jennifer Aniston is the new Lucille Ball, or Emma Stone.

The truth is, there’s plenty of room for actresses with excellent comedic timing. Anna is one of them.

For the May issue of Manhattan she tells a personal story of what comedy is to her. And it involves giant underwear!

“In college one of my jobs was as a receptionist, and during my lunch breaks I’d wander around the city. So, on this particularly beautiful day, I was out walking in a dress, wearing my backpack, feeling great. But then I realized I was attracting a lot of looks, really getting checked out, which really made me angry, although I bet I loved it, even if I wouldn’t admit it.”  Continue reading “Anna Faris Wears Costco Granny Panties”

Katy Perry Steals Used Underwear From Granny’s Boudoir

Katy Perry made a splash when she wandered the streets of Paris (for fashion week) in some foam green creation that is likely from a suspicious thrift store that sells used underwear, probably stolen from the homes of recently deceased grannies.

Questionably obtained sheer skirt and drawers aside, I’ve always wondered, is she a mermaid? Will her legs slowly dissipate and transform into a long scaly tail that flops back and forth like Jessica Simpson’s knockers, Netflix stock, and Obama’s opinion on gay rights?

Her colorful hair and general lack of comprehension make me wonder such things for hours on end.

She also wore a very pointy ring, but I attribute that to her going to a dinner that honored Karl Lagerfeld, and she must’ve needed it to stab him in case he started mumbling about enslaving her for one of his German experiments.