Cloudy With A 200% Chance Of Meatballs: Snooki Had A Baby!

Last I heard, Nicole Polizzi was in a hospital in lovely Livingston, New Jersey giving birth to a penne noodle covered in orange sauce. No, she isn’t battling a severe bout of dysentery or opening a Chinese/Italian fusion restaurant…

By now (seven days before labor day), Snooki and her 5’3″ off-duty lifeguard Jionni have welcomed a baby juicehead named Lorenzo into the world!

I imagine that everyone’s favorite sausage in a leopard-print dress is flashing a camera in her baby’s sensitive placental expulsion-covered face with intentions to sell the photos to People or Us Weekly in exchange for gumball machine coins.

Kourtney Kardashian Had A Baby Girl, Kind Of Named Her ‘Scott’

Kourtney Kardashian gave birth to her second child with Scott Disick, a baby girl named Penelope Scotland Disick. So her name isn’t quite “Scott,” that’s too obvious, even for a Kardashian. “Scotland” though?

That’s kind of a doozy but not nearly as weird as “Blue Ivy Carter,” or “Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale.”

For a celebrity baby name, I give Penelope Scotland Disick a 3 out of 10 on the creativity scale with a 10 ensuring that the kid will get thrown in a trash can one day and 1 being something that will never be misspelled on a plastic cup by a Starbucks employee.

Another white baby for the Jenner-Kardashian klan? This is almost as shocking as Kim Kardashian not being married to Kanye West.

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