Dancing Shark is Real Super Bowl Winner

katy perry shark memeEven two years later, nothing beats Beyonce’s unflattering Super Bowl photos, but Katy Perry’s out-of-sync dancing shark, Wiimote and lion are trying their best.

Like the Packers against the Seahawks in the playoffs, Seattle had the game completely in the bag but failed, deciding to pass the ball at the end of the 4th with the end zone just inches from Marshawn Lynch’s face. Tom Brady jumped for joy as Russell Wilson threw the game-losing interception to Malcolm Butler, ending it at 28 to 24.  Continue reading “Dancing Shark is Real Super Bowl Winner”

NFL Finds Perfect Halftime Performer in Bruno Mars

Bruno mars halftime show poster Super Bowl organizers finally chose the right person for this year’s halftime show, and that person is none other than Grammy-winning songwriter Bruno Mars, who will perform a mixture of hits from his breakout album Doo-Wops & Hooligans and his equally successful sophomore effort, Unorthodox Jukebox.

I know you’re tired of Michael Jackson comparisons, but it’s hard to argue that he’s not the total package with that voice and those moves and an arsenal of throwback, horn-heavy hits like “Locked Out of Heaven,” “Grenade,” “Treasure” and “Just The Way You Are” after only being in the spotlight for three short years. (Not long by show business standards.) Continue reading “NFL Finds Perfect Halftime Performer in Bruno Mars”

Super Bowl 2013: Destiny’s Child Went On, The Power Went Out… The Ravens Won

Joe Flacco trophyFrom a blackout (which would’ve been the 49ers’ MVP if they’d won) that was either caused by Ray Lewis’ tears or Beyonce’s hairdryer, to a near San Francisco comeback, Super Bowl XLVII turned out to be pretty eventful.

Here’s a late breakdown:

I’m slightly ashamed to admit that a commercial featuring a baby Budweiser Clydesdale somehow made me cry more than Jennifer Hudson’s performance with 26 children from Sandy Hook elementary.

Alicia Keys (who should have switched with J-Hud) sat at her piano and gave us the jazzy low-risk version of the National Anthem.  Continue reading “Super Bowl 2013: Destiny’s Child Went On, The Power Went Out… The Ravens Won”

Beyonce Is 2013’s Super Bowl XLVII Act

Since when is a picture of Beyonce wearing eyeblack (way too far from her eyes, by the way) with the exact date of the Super Bowl a “hint” that she’s performing there?

After her people posted the super mysterious photo on Tumblr the NFL confirmed that Bey had secured a spot on the historic list of halftime artists like the Black Eyed Peas’ auto-tune, Paul McCartney’s undereye bags and Janet Jackson’s nipple to play the championship game.

Kickoff begins on February 3 in New Orleans. So watch or be square. It’s extremely likely that Jay-Z will pop out for a shortened rendition of “Crazy In Love…” Or “Upgrade U,” or “Deja Vu.

Madonna Is Possible Super Bowl XLVI Halftime Act

Sports website SB Nation is claiming that Madonna will perform at the super bowl on February 5, 2012. This is good because, if there does happen to be some sort of apocalypse, Madonna surely would survive, being an ageless supernatural succubus who can easily survive on seeds and ashes.

The 53 year-old queen of pop would follow previous acts (since the Janet Jackson mishap in 2004) such as The Black Eyed Peas, The Who, Springsteen, Tom Petty, Prince, The Rolling Stones and Paul McCartney.

The super bowl this year will take place at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, Portland Pterodactyl Vs. South Carolina Sabertooths. Oh wait, that doesn’t exist. Is there a better candidate than Madonna? Yes! Her name is Lady Gaga (or Rihanna)…

Continue reading “Madonna Is Possible Super Bowl XLVI Halftime Act”