Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [8-30-12]

Roger Ebert LOVED The Possession. Hmm, maybe I will see it. (Chicago Sun-Times)

Email my heart. Guess how John Mayer let Katy Perry down? (Evil Beet)

Anorexic Disney characters galore. Again. Poor Minnie. (Yahoo!)

This clergyman feels sorry for Jerry Sandusky, calls young boys “seducers.” (Daily News)

Cameron Diaz turns 40. Stills looks 30. (E! Online)

Excaliber gym staff member told Gabby Douglas to get a nose job. (Jezebel)

Celebrity anagrams that make sense, for instance, Mel “Big Melons” Gibson. (Unreality)

Lifetime’s latest images of Lindsay Lohan as Liz Taylor. (ABC)

Andy Roddick is retiring after 11 years of tennis. (Deadspin)

Seven hilariously true things from Paul Ryan‘s convention speech. (Gawker)

What Does Angelina Jolie’s Engagement Mean For Society? – More Pictures Of Her Hands!

Angelina Jolie’s recent engagement to Brad Pitt, father of her children and partner for seven years means doesn’t mean much to humanity. You’re just going to see a ton of pictures of her left elongated spider hand and the ring that adorns it.

Before you say it, Jennifer Aniston does not care about this news There are even [unlikely] rumors that she might go to the wedding. And how good would that feel? Showing up with Justin Theroux, looking happier than ever, relieved not to be with that toolbox that left her for another woman. Hopefully she gets a plus two invite so she can bring Chelsea Handler.  Continue reading “What Does Angelina Jolie’s Engagement Mean For Society? – More Pictures Of Her Hands!”

Your Tattoo Doesn’t Make Me Go “Awwww,” David Beckham

I’ve always had mixed feelings about tattoos. Sometimes they’re great, and while  I support everyone’s right to express themselves via skin canvas, CERTAIN tattoos are just, bleck.

Snooki’s giant crown tat for instance. Oh, and I am constantly surprised by the amount of women (Megan Fox, Angelina, Gaga) with scrolling text tattoos that run down their arms or sides. (Too long and boring to bother reading)…

Continue reading “Your Tattoo Doesn’t Make Me Go “Awwww,” David Beckham”

Damn It, I Was Hoping Michael Vick’s Hand Was Broken

During a game against the New York Giants in Philadelphia, it was reported that Michael Vick broke his hand after what he claims was a late hit by Chris Canty.

The team physician for The Eagles determined the injury on Sunday during the game, but it was later ruled to be a severely bruised bone with problematic swelling.

As much as I love the Eagles I was really rooting for his hand to be broken, since I HATE him. Besides being a sadistic dog-killer, he complains too much…

Continue reading “Damn It, I Was Hoping Michael Vick’s Hand Was Broken”