Harry Styles Irons White Briefs in Gold Thong

Harry Styles Thong Against all odds – an enormous butterfly tattoo on the money-shot center of his chest, a third and fourth nipple and terrible acne – Harry Styles continues to be America’s adopted national treasure, capturing the attention of famous women like Emma Watson and Taylor Swift.

Oh, and you can add questionable taste in underwear to the list. Recently, an image of the British rose ironing his tighty-whities in a printed gold thong surfaced.

This unforgettable moment in time was captured in 2010 when Harry was just 16 and still competing on The X Factor. When I look at him, I think of the time I babysat a kid named Gabe, who must’ve been six at the time, and how I couldn’t get him to stop running down the street with no pants on.

I also need to know if he normally wears a thong under his briefs or if he just put it on so he could iron. (And if so, who gave it to him?)

One Direction Ruin Blondie and The Undertones in One Fell Swoop

Harry Styles one way or anotherArizona is frozen, Australia is burning, it’s raining spiders in Brazil, there’s snow on the beaches of Croatia, a 10,000 ton meteor hit Russia and One Direction did a mash-up of “One Way Or Another” and “Teenage Kicks.”

Taylor Swift’s babyfaced ex singing not one but two iconic new wave songs written about 20 years before he was born has to be the most frightening sign of the coming apocalypse. (Though maybe he relates to that whole being stalked theme?)

I remember Glee and Angelica from The Rugrats ruining “One Way Or Another” on separate occasions. And dwarfy Billie Joe Armstrong didn’t have to squat too low for The Undertones’ classic… But this is a goddamn musical snuff double feature! Continue reading “One Direction Ruin Blondie and The Undertones in One Fell Swoop”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [1-13-13]

Harry Styles Four Nipples Kiss youHarry Styles doesn’t have one nipple, two nipples, or three nipples. He has four. (E! Online)

A millisecond of “What Makes You Beautiful,” by Emma Stone. (Just Jared)

Jackie Chan says America is the worst, most corrupt country (and China is the best). (ONTD!)

Marriage in the books for Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis. (Evil Beet)

Lady Gaga the only person who takes adolescents “seriously?” (Huffington Post)

Victoria’s Secret model Barbara Palvin never did anything sexy with Justin Bieber. (Celebuzz)

Jason Trawick not allowed to talk about Britney Spears‘ crazy behavior, by contract. (TMZ)

Taylor Swift Is/Was Basically Dating Mick Jagger

Harry Styles shirtlessLadies, don’t be jealous of Taylor Swift and her boyfriend, One Direction boy-bander Harry Styles. I can see the future, and it involves him fully transitioning into Mick Jagger (or Wrinkly Kong) in 20 years.

I can’t stop thinking about the Mick resemblance after Daily Mail posted photos of Styles absorbing sun and showing off his back acne and random collection of tattoos on the beach in the Caribbean on Saturday.

The older one of Harry (pre-battleship, sister’s name, 007, coat hanger, padlock and bird tattoos) making a familiar face sent me into a state of shockContinue reading “Taylor Swift Is/Was Basically Dating Mick Jagger”

One Direction Band Members Jealous of Heathrow Haylor

Heathrow Haylor 1Taylor Swift is to One Direction what Yoko Ono was to The Beatles, a source tells the The Sun. According to them, Taylor is Yoko-y because Harry Styles “ditched” his bandmates in favor of a cozy private plane ride with his new girlfriend.

The article also makes a point of mentioning that Liam Payne suffered painful injuries at Heathrow airport after fighting through aggressive fans.

Five dollars on the anonymous source actually being one of the guys from One Direction.

Continue reading “One Direction Band Members Jealous of Heathrow Haylor”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [12-5-12]

Taylor Swift Harry Styles babyTaylor Swift does move fast, already had a baby with One Direction’s Harry Styles. (Daily Mirror)

HBO special on Beyonce reveals her desire to reveal nothing? (ohmyGAHH!)

Julie Andrews‘ circa 1997 vocal cord surgery damage is irreparable. (Huffington Post)

Famous/viral “homeless man” continues to go barefoot, has a home. (Yahoo!)

Balenciaga creative director/Liberty Ross bestie may fire Kristen Stewart. (Evil Beet)

I can forgive that John Mayer is on the RS 50 best albums list because of Garbage. (Stereogum)

Since we’re talking lists, here’s one that’s less about music and more about NUDE CELEBS. (Gawker)

Justin Bieber Cuts Radio Interview Short

Justin Bieber took offense when “Mojo” from the radio program Mojo In The Morning compared him to Justin Timberlake and joked about his mom and Harry Styles of One Direction. Here’s the Timberlake part:

DJ: “I hope you take this as a compliment because I really mean it as that, but when I first got played your song by some of your record people who said ‘Hey I want you to hear something,’ and this was months and months before it came out, they said ‘Take a listen to this and tell me if you can tell me who this is.’ I thought it was Justin Timberlake.”

Bieber: “Where, what one?”

DJ:When I heard ‘Boyfriend’ for the very first time, you know, like I said that it as a compliment ’cause I think Justin Timberlake is the man. But I thought it was Justin Timberlake’s single and then when they told me it was you and I was so excited for ya.”

Bieber: “Man, that’s crazy, because our voices sound nothing alike.”  Continue reading “Justin Bieber Cuts Radio Interview Short”