Shia LaBeouf Did Us All A Favor, Wore a Bag Over His Stupid Face

Shia bag on headAfter realizing the spotlight was fading, two-time Megan Fox love interest and all-time douche Shia LaBeouf is desperate to remain famous. And how is he doing that, exactly? …By repeatedly reminding everyone that he’s NOT famous.

It’s a slightly brilliant ploy in a way if he actually has an endgame. (Like so many “artists,” he is probably just winging it.) Anyway, Shia wore a bag over his super worn-down backpacker face to the Nymphomaniac premiere in Berlin and walked out of a press conference after spouting a plagiarized line famously spoken by French soccer player Eric Cantona.

At this point, he’s not doing anything important and looks like a guy you’d meet at a hot spring, so why the hell not walk around with a paper bag over his head in public? (This isn’t even the first time, by the way.)

Sandra Bullock’s New Best Friend Has a Suspiciously Small Head and Neck

Melissa McCarthy photoshop“Inseparable” new pals Sandra Bullock and her co-star Melissa McCarthy are roughly the same age, their kids play together and they “finish each other’s sentences, according to a profile in Parade.

“Normally after movies, those friendships go away,” says The Heat (and Bridesmaids) director Paul Feig, “Theirs blossomed.”

Sadly, if R. L. Stine’s How I Got My Shrunken Head had been about an itty bitty lima bean cabeza connected to a living, breathing human we’d have answers on what happened to Sandy’s new bestie on the UK poster for the buddy cop movie that hits U.S. theaters June 28.

As you can see, Melissa’s head looks drastically smaller than Bullock’s, her neck has been airbrushed and, as Buzzfeed pointed out, even her eye color is different due to Photoshop molestation.Melissa McCarthy photoshopped
As if our body issues weren’t already bad enough, industry bigwigs are giving actresses, models and singers digital plastic surgery on the daily if they’re not on a juice diet resulting in organ failure.

Lady Gaga Fell Asleep, Got A Tattoo In Front Of A Bunch Of People

The only nice thing I can say about Lady Gaga‘s new tattoo, which the “artist” calls “a nod to her Italian heritage,” is that it won’t be visible once she grows her hair back.

I remember buying little books of fake tattoos when I was younger, and I’m pretty sure this so-called “Renaissance era cherub” was included.

Yes, the tattoo, which was given to her in front of hundreds of people at her Fame fragrance launch party, looks like a child’s idea of what body art should be.

She might as well have gotten a heart with the word “mom” in italics over a cutesy white banner. Except she would get “dad,” because as far as I know, she’s never written a song about her mom (poor Cynthia Germonatta).  Continue reading “Lady Gaga Fell Asleep, Got A Tattoo In Front Of A Bunch Of People”

The Most Inappropriate Kardashian TV Moment Ever?

“Inappropriate” and “Kardashian” in one sentence feels like a very redundant oxymoron. Anyone who watches the show knows this is one weird family, and I’m not talking about brains or selfishness.

The sisters (and Rob) are constantly de-pantsing and groping each other while talking in detail about sex and every other thing I would never consider discussing with my family.

On the finale of Khloe & Lamar, Khloe considers getting a DNA test to find out is she is in fact Robert Kardashian’s biological daughter.  Continue reading “The Most Inappropriate Kardashian TV Moment Ever?”