Brian Williams Suspended For 6 Months For Lying

Jon Stewart Brian Williams quoteNews anchor Brian Williams has been suspended by NBC for 6 months without pay for saying he was in a helicopter that had to make an emergency landing after coming under fire in Iraq.

To add insult to injury, Williams claimed he told the lie because umm, like, a bunch of helicopters crashed that day and stuff and he was in a helicopter but just not one of those helicopters and he forget that that totally didn’t happen to him at all because he’s got a lot going on, like trying to ignore trolls who send him videos of his daughter getting her ass eaten out.

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Prince Williams Swoops Into Action, Saves Teenage Girl From A Cruel, Watery Death

Imagine you’re a teenage girl. Shouldn’t be too hard since most of The Twist’s comments seem to come from severely emotionally stunted 13-year-old boys pretending to be of-age female schoolteachers or Staples employees.

Imagine that you are drowning. Yeah, you’re out with your sister by the bay and you’re completely helpless and cold. Suddenly, Prince Williams appears.

See what a fantasy this already sounds like? I don’t fancy myself an Astrid Lindgren-type, nor an erotic novelist whose name rhymes with “Hell Fames.” This is a true story.  Continue reading “Prince Williams Swoops Into Action, Saves Teenage Girl From A Cruel, Watery Death”