Maid Finds Jennifer Lawrence’s Butt Plug Stash, Pulls Prank

Jennifer Lawrence went on Conan on Wednesday and told a story about the time she encountered a hotel maid with a sense of humor to rival her own.

Apparently Lawrence was gifted “a copious amount of butt plugs” as a joke, but when she tried to hide them this, happened:

So the maid was coming so I was like, ‘Well I’ll just shove this under the bed so she doesn’t see all these butt plugs.’ She might not know they’re for a joke.”

Oh, there’s more.

“Then I came back and all of them were brought out of the bed and were in this beautiful display on my bedside table,” she added. “I think she knew what she was doing. They were under the bed! I wanted to leave a note like, ‘not mine’ or ‘bought as joke.'”

Continue reading “Maid Finds Jennifer Lawrence’s Butt Plug Stash, Pulls Prank”

‘Glee’ Star Cory Monteith Found Dead

Cory Monteith black and whiteAuthorities in Canada have confirmed that Glee star Cory Monteith died today in his hotel room.

Employees at the Fairmont Pacific Rim Hotel in Vancouver discovered his body on Saturday night after he didn’t check out at the expected time.

Staff found him alone after reportedly going out with friends, and police have issued a statement that foul play is not suspected.

Monteith, age 31, was the longtime boyfriend of his Glee co-star Lea Michele. Besides his famous role as smooth-voiced Finn Hudson, he appeared in the MTV series Kaya and the 2011 movie Monte Carlo with Selena Gomez.

Many speculate that the cause of death was a drug overdose due to his recent stint in rehab. In one notable interview, the actor admitted that he did “anything and everything, as much as possible.”

Lindsay Lohan Caught Drinking Vodka in the Darkest Crevices of California

Lindsay Lohan in the mirror“Sources close to” Lindsay Lohan say she spent a large chunk of her week drinking in spite of just being ordered to go to rehab for being a dirty alcoholic by a judge in Los Angeles.

When they say the sources are close I think they are literally in her vicinity, and are in no way her friends, though I could be wrong. Anyway, some fellow winos claim to have spotted Lindsay pouring vodka into her gullet at AV Nightclub and her Beverly Hills hotel on Monday, then again on Saturday at FLUXX in San Diego.

The surprising part is obviously not that she’s drinking, but that she flew or drove two hours to San Diego for cocktails.  Continue reading “Lindsay Lohan Caught Drinking Vodka in the Darkest Crevices of California”

Los Angeles Police Say it’s Safe to Drink a Liquified Dead Body

Cecil Hotel corpseRemember that movie about the family that moves into the apartment building, and as soon as they go to brush their teeth all these ghosts fly out of the faucet? And the ghosts are like “You should move.”

Then you learn that the dead body of a young girl was floating in the water tank the whole time? It was called Dark Water…

Well, police would like you to believe that drinking corpse water is completely safe.

Last week, workers at the Cecil Hotel in downtown Los Angeles discovered the body of a Canadian woman at the bottom of one of the building’s water tanks after guests complained to the front desk about poor water pressure. Continue reading “Los Angeles Police Say it’s Safe to Drink a Liquified Dead Body”

Justin Bieber ‘Trying To Be Better’ After Joint-Smoking Photos

Justin Bieber alleged drugJustin Bieber partied it up in a Newport Beach hotel sans Selena January 2, talking about fast food while holding a joint disguised as a cigarette.

TMZ has photos and details about the guest list – which included a random female “friend” who slept over, and rapper Lil’ Twist (who we now know was driving Bieber’s Ferrari when paparazzo Chris Guerra was struck by oncoming traffic).

Justin took to Twitter hours after the images went viral, writing “Everyday growing and learning. trying to be better. u get knocked down, u get up,” which is very similar to every other message the Biebs delivers when he’s involved in a scandal. Continue reading “Justin Bieber ‘Trying To Be Better’ After Joint-Smoking Photos”

‘You Knew Me Better Than This:’ Jennifer Lopez Shames Fans Who Believed She Had A Maid Fired Over An Autograph

With pop stars, I tend to like the music more than the person behind it, but in the case of Jennifer Lopez, I like the person better than the music.

That’s not to say that she’s Mother Teresa, who danced on handcrafted wooden tables instead of Fiats (big difference), but I did doubt the credibility of a hotel maid who claimed Yennifer got her fired her because she wanted an autograph.

“C’mon thought you knew me better than this.. Would never get anyone fired over an autograph. 1st I heard of this was on twitter. #hurtful,” LoFiat tweeted as a response to anyone who thought the story wasn’t total caca.

Continue reading “‘You Knew Me Better Than This:’ Jennifer Lopez Shames Fans Who Believed She Had A Maid Fired Over An Autograph”

Lindsay Lohan Assaulted In Hotel Room By Young Republican

Lindsay Lohan told law enforcement officials that she was attacked by a 25-year-old man she met at the Chelsea night club 1 Oak and brought back to her hotel room in Manhattan with a group of friends.

According to police sources the argument started at around 4:30 a.m. on Sunday, September 30 over candid pictures and videos he’d taken of her.

After taking his cell phone away he reportedly threw her on the bed and scratched her.

She ran out of the room and into the stairwell then back into the room where he choked her and threw her to the ground a second time.

Friends eventually pulled him off and he was arrested while still in the hotel.  Continue reading “Lindsay Lohan Assaulted In Hotel Room By Young Republican”

Shaun White Gave Himself A Black Eye After Trashing Hotel Room

A less gingery, but extra douchey Shaun White has been charged with vandalism and public intoxication.

The police were called to Loews Vanderbilt Hotel in Nashville at around 2:00 a.m. on Sunday, September 16 where White broke a phone and started a fight with a good Samaritan.

The Olympic snowboarder got a black eye after he fell on his head trying to attack a hotel guest who tried to stop him from fleeing the scene in a taxi.

Cops tell TMZ that he seemed “extremely intoxicated” and smelled like Dina Lohan’s hip flask.

Lindsay Lohan Shut Out Of Chateau Marmont, Owes $46,000

Lindsay Lohan is closing on seven entire years of train wreck fame. After her early appearances on SNL and performance in the movie Mean Girls, she entered into the territory of being famous not for her talents, but for her repeated mistakes.

To confirm that she’s in complete denial of this, the freckled queen of immoral behavior got a Billy Joel lyric tattoo with the words “Clear as a crystal sharp as a knife I feel like I’m in the prime of my life” scrolling across her side.

Maybe if she spent more time proving that she belongs in the industry and less on TELLING us, she wouldn’t be in the news so much for things like owing Chateau Marmont $46,350 for a two-month stay.  Continue reading “Lindsay Lohan Shut Out Of Chateau Marmont, Owes $46,000”

Heathman Hotel Offers Fifty Shades-Inspired ‘Inner Goddess’ Package

You need to know that when I was fishing for laugh-worthy excerpts in E.L. James’ Fifty Shades Of Grey and Fifty Shades Darker I had a bucket on hand. A bucket to puke in every time Anastasia’s “inner goddess” is mentioned (that’s a lot of bile, believe me).

I wished I had a bucket or at least an emergency paper bag nearby when I read that the Heathman Hotel in Portland, Oregon is offering two exclusive Fifty Shades-related packages for fans.

Unsurprisingly, the cheapest is the “Inner Goddess” add-on. For $40 you can drink wine in your hotel room that would I guess have been approved by fictional BDSM millionaire (“Anastasia, I earn roughly one hundred thousand dollars an hour”) Christian Grey.  Continue reading “Heathman Hotel Offers Fifty Shades-Inspired ‘Inner Goddess’ Package”

Lana Del Rey: Don’t Judge Me, Hotel Doorlady!

Songstress Lana Del Soul (or Rey, but I typed “soul” by accident and it stuck) was photographed leaving her hotel room on Thursday in this white see-through getup, polka dot skirt and all.

It was not her outfit that struck me as hilarious, because she wears that midriff-exposing retro outfit daily, but the look on the hotel worker’s face, behind her.

She is giving Lana the third degree shitface, the third world pinkeye stinkeye. And what is she perturbed by in particular?

The outfit? The attention she received from a few fans? Her attitude? Lack of tip?

Maybe she has a long-standing obsession with Axl Rose, and is plotting an assassination?

I can’t mistake the look for admiration, it’s definitely some kind of disgust. If only I could interview this woman. I’ll never know. But feel free to caption.