Emma Stone is the Nicki Minaj of Lip Syncing


Crazy adorable ginger (and only reason to ever step foot in a theater showing Amazing Spider-Man 2) Emma Stone decimated the competition over at The Tonight Show with her mouthed renditions of the equally challenging “Hook” by Blues Traveler and DJ Khaled’s “All I Do Is Win.”

Fallon’s dance moves didn’t stand a chance against Emma, whose lips and arms were moving so fast that audience members in the front row witnessed some of her freckles bouncing off her skin and into their laps.

I never thought I’d see John Popper and Ludacris proud on the same day…

GQ Made Julia Louis-Dreyfus Bang a Clown

Julia Dreyfus clown sexFirst of all, I want to applaud Time magazine for trying to write a serious piece about Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ “lust-filled embrace” with a shirtless clown.

While they chose the title “Clown Sex and the Rise of Funny-Naked Women,” Gawker went with the much more straightforward and attention-grabbing “Julia Louis-Dreyfus F*cks a Clown For GQ.”

It’s not too hard to imagine Louis-Dreyfus agreeing to this, seeing as it was for the Comedy Issue, listing her as one of the “15 Funniest People Alive,” and this picture is definitely funny.

What’s almost better is the photo of the aftermath. #ClownBaby

Dreyfus is on a roll lately, also causing a bit of a controversy when she posed for an April cover of Rolling Stone with words from the US Constitution tattooed on her nude body.

What ‘The Hound’ Looks Like Without a Beard…

The slightly uneventful but still wonderful first episode of the fourth season of Game of Thrones aired last night and the unexpected star and winner of the internet for the week was none other than the king of one-liners, burn victim Sandor “The Hound” Clegane, who is currently on a mission to deliver Arya Stark to her dead mother’s crazy sister for a hefty sum.

The Hound spawned a bunch of memes after he closed the episode by spewing amazingly humorous dialogue about eating chicken right before beating up a roomful of thugs and getting Arya’s sword back (gifted by Jon Snow, nicknamed “Needle,” “Stick them with the pointy end” etc.).  Continue reading “What ‘The Hound’ Looks Like Without a Beard…”

Starbucks Apologizes For Offending Southern Woman With Foamy, Caramel ‘666’

Starbucks 666A Baton Rouge woman who bought coffee at a Starbucks at the Mall of Louisiana received a large amount of both humorous and concerned comments after sharing a picture of her two drinks.

With a matching “666” and pentagram art drawn in caramel, the woman, Megan K. Pinion (so close to the ultra satanic “minion”) wrote that while she was “in no way judging” the beliefs of the barista, she judges his “lack of professionalism and respect for others” and was “appalled” by the imagery.

“I am a teacher in the public school system and if I were to present a child of atheist or pagan believers with a Christian art project I could be sued in a heartbeat,” she stated.  Continue reading “Starbucks Apologizes For Offending Southern Woman With Foamy, Caramel ‘666’”

Joe Pesci Gave Jonah Hill a Rectal Exam

Jonah Hill butt fingers storyThere are only a handful of men as weird and wonderful (and elusive) as Joe Pesci, right? I mean there’s Bill Murray… Sean Penn, maybe? And that’s really it.

Mobster extraordinaire and two-time Home Alone villain Pesci recently approached Jonah Hill at The Wolf Of Wall Street premiere to give him some sage advice about getting a swollen ego and allowing people to over-sing his praises.

“He goes, ‘You’re great in the movie, kid, I’m really proud of you.’ And I’m like, ‘Thank you, your acting means so much to me,'” Hill told Jimmy Fallon. “And he goes, ‘Here’s what I want you to do: I want you to go buy a helmet.’ And I go, ‘okay…'”  Continue reading “Joe Pesci Gave Jonah Hill a Rectal Exam”

L.A. Shoppers Deprived of Plastic Bags, Riot Silently

Almost as sad as Mean Girls now being 10 years old (take some time to process that), a few random laws are effective immediately with the coming of the New Year. Laws such as the recreational use of sticky icky in Colorado (not so sad), and the ban of plastic bags in Los Angeles.

Like every wasteful, gluttony-rooted American, I don’t appreciate being forced to respect the environment.

This country relies on grease, plastic and fossil fuel like France relies on cigarettes, wine-soaked armpit hair and cheese, and on this night and every other I will light a candle for the great loss my Southern Californian friends have suffered. Rest in peace, ye olde plastic bag, with your fragile body so prone to tears.

Continue reading “L.A. Shoppers Deprived of Plastic Bags, Riot Silently”

Maid Finds Jennifer Lawrence’s Butt Plug Stash, Pulls Prank

Jennifer Lawrence went on Conan on Wednesday and told a story about the time she encountered a hotel maid with a sense of humor to rival her own.

Apparently Lawrence was gifted “a copious amount of butt plugs” as a joke, but when she tried to hide them this, happened:

So the maid was coming so I was like, ‘Well I’ll just shove this under the bed so she doesn’t see all these butt plugs.’ She might not know they’re for a joke.”

Oh, there’s more.

“Then I came back and all of them were brought out of the bed and were in this beautiful display on my bedside table,” she added. “I think she knew what she was doing. They were under the bed! I wanted to leave a note like, ‘not mine’ or ‘bought as joke.'”

Continue reading “Maid Finds Jennifer Lawrence’s Butt Plug Stash, Pulls Prank”

‘Hunger Games’ Stars Talk Camel Toes and Pee

As most of The Hunger Games: Catching Fire takes place in an island environment and was filmed in Hawaii, the stars had to wear form-fitting wetsuits which they peed in on the regular.

Fortunately for Jennifer Lawrence, Jenna Malone and the like, the wetsuits did not show all their ladybits ala “Oops!…I Did It Again” or Miley and Iggy Azalea at the EMAs.

“I was surprised at how little camel toe problem there was,” Lawrence told E!. “I was expecting a lot more.”

“They actually were pretty comfortable once we found you can actually pee through them– just go into the ocean and take care of your business,” Katniss’ fictional partner in one-sided romance, Josh Hutcherson, said of the suits.

Continue reading “‘Hunger Games’ Stars Talk Camel Toes and Pee”

Funny Video: Granny Sh*t Talks While Playing GTA V

In case you hadn’t heard, everyone and their grandma, apparently, are playing GTA V this month.

There’s parachuting, “Grand Theft Auto hell” for bad sports who blow up personal vehicles and a $500,000 stimulus package that no one needs because everyone’s making virtual millions using car-selling glitches.

Continue reading “Funny Video: Granny Sh*t Talks While Playing GTA V”

Funny Video: Betty White Swings on a Wrecking Ball

You’ve seen a million Miley Cyrus “Wrecking Ball” parodies by now, but this one, featuring Golden Girl goddess Betty White, is rivaled only by the one with Nic Cage’s head pasted onto Miley’s naked body.

Hurry up and click to see Betty swing to and fro and brandish a sledgehammer in the name of her crazy Lifetime old folk prank show, Off Their Rockers.

Funny Video: Mean Tweets, Music Edition

In the latest edition of celebrities reading mean tweets about themselves, Ke$ha is a crack whore, Pharrell looks like a sewer rat, 2 Chainz is Whoopi Goldberg and Lil’ Wayne is a crabapple. Awesome.

Also, Jared Leto totally licked his lips a little when he read the word “dick.”

Sexy Ghosts are all the Rage this Halloween

sexy ghost halloween costumeI stumbled upon this photo today on Facebook and couldn’t resist posting because it completely summarizes my feelings on girl Halloween costumes.

Now you’ve seen it all. Sexy Crayons, sexy treasure trolls, and now sexy ghosts. (I’m still waiting on sexy Obama. Just the mask and bikini.)

Never have I ever wanted to retreat to my bedroom with a box of insulin needles and a two and a half bag of candy corn more.

Please, please, please stay classy this October, kill yourself.

Read: The Best/Worst Halloween Costumes of 2012 (thetwistgossip.com)

GIF: Nicolas Cage Wrecks Balls Better Than Miley

Nicolas Cage as miley wrecking ball
Nearly everyone’s commented on the Wrecking Ball video featuring Miley Cyrus naked in what looks like a construction site from an unfinished shareware game, everyone, that is, except Nicolas Cage.

The man’s been a witch and treasure hunter, a ghost, a detective, and now he’s Miley in this amazing GIF submitted to Imgur yesterday by user EarlSweatshirt.  Continue reading “GIF: Nicolas Cage Wrecks Balls Better Than Miley”

GIF: Girl Lights Herself On Fire While Twerking


Your new favorite video of the month and possibly the year is out. I don’t know if you saw it yet? Girl twerks against door, door opens, girl falls onto a glass table full of candles and lights her stretchy pants on fire?

Before you make a joke about Miley’s tongue-wagging VMA performance, keep in mind that this is something you’d actually want to re-watch.

Anybody down to twerk by the fries at McDonald’s for a grease fiery sequel on Saturday?

Portland Gets It Right With ‘Post No Bills’ Sign

Post no bills sign portland
Some special soul in my native Portland, OR provided this daily haha in the form of a “Post No Bills” sign surrounded by pictures of famous dudes named Bill across from Reed College.

Here we see Nye, Hader, Maher, Idol, Clinton, Gates, Shakespeare, Cosby, Mr. Bill, and Murray, but no Shatner, as one commenter noticed after George Takei shared the photo.

Apparently “post no bills” signs are an outdated reminder for shameless promoters to keep flyers off of boring fences and the like. From Yahoo! Answers:

‘Bills’ simply means flyers and paper advertisements, hope that helped! It’s common to find this sign on derelict buildings and boarded up places.  Continue reading “Portland Gets It Right With ‘Post No Bills’ Sign”

Funny Video: Peyton and Eli Manning – “Football On Your Phone” Rap

Derpy quarterback bro duo Eli Manning and Peyton Manning filmed a pretty great commercial for DirecTV called “Football On Your Phone” looking like one anti-swag Dana Carvey and one hair clone of Alice from the Brady Bunch both mastering Mr. Potatohead face.

“Look at this guy using his phone as a phone. Your phone ain’t for calling, your phone is for football.”
Eli Peyton gif football on your phone

Fake Crazy Girl Fake Burns Herself To Kreayshawn’s ‘Gucci Gucci’

Brittany Furlan vineI do take enjoyment out of stories about animal rescue and people doing good neighborly deeds lending each other sugar or eggs or whatever (lay off the cake, fatty), but they’re just not the type of stories I love the most. My favorite thing of the week was a video of a really ridiculous looking woman singing rap into her curling iron and then burning herself until I found out that it wasn’t real.

I mean, she’s not stupid and she didn’t burn herself and she’s probably not even a Kreayshawn fan! Her name is Brittany Furlan, a comedian who says she’s “addicted to making characters.”

BETRAYAL. I wouldn’t have told you so you could watch it in your little fantasy world like I did believing it was the most hilarious thing I’d see that day BUT NO, the world is cruel. Vine just ruined stupidity for me the same way Facebook is using Candy Crush to ruin online gaming.