Baby Dracula Has Fully Drained Denise Richards

Denise Richards spends some quality family time with her daughters in Bel Air! Denise Richards took her three children out for some ice cream this weekend. Or two of them ate ice cream while the youngest, Eloise, feasted on what’s left of her mother’s circulatory system.

I’ve seen year-old French Bread that was softer than those withered limbs. Swing that thing the wrong way and it either disintegrates or takes someone’s eye out. It’s hard to tell without feeling it in the aquarium touch pool.

That kid she’s holding is a vampire with the worst kind of luck. The luck of living with a green drink-loving pilates master when all she needs is Honey Boo Boo’s mom.

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [10-28-12]

Ashton Kutcher scratches his arm while Mila Kunis noms ice cream bars. (Celebuzz)

There’s a giant fish-catching Gollum statue at Wellington, New Zealand airport. (The Mary Sue)

Enrique Iglesias flaunts torso for “Finally Found You” video. (ONTD!)

7.7 magnitude earthquake hits British Columbia coast. (Los Angeles Times)

Usher‘s new Goldendoodle puppy only cost $12,000. (Us Weekly)

MS Klu Klux Klan Grand Wizard gave his daughter her first KKK robe at age eight. (Radar)

Lucky magazine apologizes for changing Britney Spears’ hairline. (Evil Beet)

Johnny Rzeznik, Ne-Yo, and Natasha Bedingfield sing for Obama‘s “forward” campaign. (ohmyGAHH!)

Robert Pattinson Eats Ice Cream With Jon Stewart, Mostly Avoids Talking About Kristen

Robert Pattinson finally crawled out of his lonely hermit crab shell to begin his promotional tour for Cosmopolis. First stop:
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Stewart cut right to the chase, feeding Rob’s inner woman some Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, throwing his hands up in the air and saying:

“We’re just a couple of gals talking. The last time I had a bad breakup, Ben and Jerry got me through the tougher times. I thought you and I could bond over this and talk about, ‘boy, you are better off, kick her to the curb.'”  Continue reading “Robert Pattinson Eats Ice Cream With Jon Stewart, Mostly Avoids Talking About Kristen”