Stand by for Maximum Butts: J-Lo and Iggy Azalea Made a Video Together…

Jlo Iggy azalea bootyThe oldest butt and the newest joined forces for a song called, get ready for it, “Booty.” A middle-eastern tune best served after repeated viewings of Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda,” the “Dance (Ass)” remix and Kim Kardashian’s entire Instagram.

Seriously, how many simple-minded men have to die of heart problems all so Jennifer Lopez can feel superior to Kim and Nicki?

You know she came up with this concept after turning around in the mirror asking Evil Queen-style who has the roundest derriere of all?  Continue reading “Stand by for Maximum Butts: J-Lo and Iggy Azalea Made a Video Together…”

Meet Hefe Wine, the Man Behind the Alleged Iggy Azalea Sex Tape…

Hefe wine iggy azalea exThe only people who have seen Iggy Azalea’s sex tape at this point seem to be the “businessmen” over at Vivid Entertainment, who think the tape could actually be worth millions of dollars, possibly even more than saucer-eyed knob-polishers Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton.

The only people BESIDES of course Iggy herself and her co-star, former boyfriend and manager combo Hefe Wine.

Azalea is busy denying the tape’s existence while her lawyers are busy telling TMZ that it was filmed “without her knowledge or consent” and Hefe is busy pretending like he had nothing to do with it ending up at Vivid.

There’s also word that Iggy – known back then as Amethyst Amelia Kelly – may have accidentally signed over the rights to it to the douchey ex. (Which is bullsh*t, because the contract only related to music and music-related videos.Continue reading “Meet Hefe Wine, the Man Behind the Alleged Iggy Azalea Sex Tape…”

This Year’s VMAs are Cursed

scary britney spearsThe 2014 VMAs haven’t even begun and they’re already more interesting than they’ve been in a long long time…

So far, Suge Knight was shot, Nicki Minaj’s dancer was bit by a snake during rehearsals, Iggy Azalea fell backwards off the stage AAAND this year’s show is officially cursed.

Knight is currently in intensive care recovering from stomach and arm injuries caused by gunfire at Chris Brown’s pre-party, Iggy Azalea and Nicki Minaj’s dancer – who was attacked by a boa constrictor during a run-through of “Anaconda” – appear to be fine.

Individually, we could assume that Tupac cursed Suge Knight from the grave for being involved in his murder and Nicki had bad karma after cursing Iggy Azalea for stealing her thunder, OR we could apply actual logic and say that Suge is a known gangster and Iggy’s ass and gravity are as deadly a combination as wild animals and human dancers.

All I have to say is, this is what happens when you don’t invite Britney Spears.

Weird Al Parodies Robin Thicke, Iggy Azalea, Pharrell AND Lorde All In One Week

Weird al royals parodyIn 1996, after hearing a spot-on parody of “Gangster’s Paradise” on the radio, I bought a glorious tape by the man who wrote it, called Bad Hair Day. It didn’t change my life, but it was funny. I all but forgot about Weird Al until 2006’s brilliant comeback, Straight Outta Lynwoodbut the admiration never left.

The thing to respect about Yankovic besides his work ethic (he just dropped his 14th album), is that he’d rather go for a “poke in the ribs than a punch in the face,” which isn’t easy. Just ask any comedian.

Continue reading “Weird Al Parodies Robin Thicke, Iggy Azalea, Pharrell AND Lorde All In One Week”

Nicki Minaj’s Feud With Iggy Azalea is Nonexistent

Iggy Azalea Nicki Minaj crazy facesGiant white Australian ass vs. giant New York ass, also known as up-and-comer Iggy Azalea vs. Nicki Minaj, is not a thing. After that phantom conglomerate we call the internet automatically assumed the parts of Minaj’s BET Awards speech about authenticity and songwriting were aimed at fellow Best Female Hip-Hop Artist Nominee Azalea, Minaj took to Twitter to clarify that her words were actually not directed at anyone in particular.

According to her, we put the shade in her hand and threw it for her / on a beef scale of 1 to 10, this is a turkey sub.  Continue reading “Nicki Minaj’s Feud With Iggy Azalea is Nonexistent”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [6-9-14]

Iggy Azalea Rita Ora I white chicksRita Ora and Iggy Azalea unknowingly reenact White Chicks. (Uproxx)

Being shunned by Hollywood has been really good for Mel Gibson’s biceps. (TMZ)

Tracy Morgan broke his leg, femur, nose and ribs. Is “more responsive.” (E! Online)

The guy in The Fault in Our Stars DIES. You’re welcome. (NY Daily News)

Olivia Munn is looking for her career in Aaron Rodgers’ mouth. (Radar)

Sneaky guinea pig impregnated 100 females, has more kids than Eddie Murphy. (Jezebel)

31-year-old loves the “natural hang” of his girlfriend’s 91-year-old boobs. (BuzzFeed)

Video: Ariana Grande – “Problem” Feat. Iggy Azalea

Potential song of the summer “Problem” by 20-year-old Ariana Grande and the white Azealia Banks, Iggy Azalea have a new video. Press play and notice the big hair and spirals… This is from a decade called the ’60s, 30 years or so before either of them were born.

In the ’60s, The Beatles became the first band to hold the no. 1 and 2 spots on the Billboard Hot 100, and it’s not until now that a second musical act has achieved that.
  
Iggy motherf*cking Azalea, a woman who once referred to herself as a “slave master” and writes things like “get your shit 2together girl” on Twitter, has something in common with The Beatles. Her song “Fancy” plus the guest vocals on “Problem” put her at 1 and 2.

Continue reading “Video: Ariana Grande – “Problem” Feat. Iggy Azalea”