Rihanna Kicked Out of Place of Worship For Smizing, Applying Lipstick

Rihanna sexy hijab Rihanna continued showing off her skills as a heat-seeking missile for illegal activity during her Diamonds World Tour this weekend. Following a photo with an endangered loris (which led to the arrest of two Thai men) and visitation to a sex show where a woman turned water into soda the way Jesus turned water to wine (with his vaginal walls), Rihanna defiled a Mosque in Abu Dhabi by simply being herself.

With lips redder than the devil’s dick and a Tyra-approved glare, Rihanna as her least sexual self is still too hot for the Middle East.

Maybe before her show tonight in Israel she can go take a naked dump on The Western Wall or Mount Sinai in a Mel Gibson mask?  Continue reading “Rihanna Kicked Out of Place of Worship For Smizing, Applying Lipstick”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [1-30-13]

Ray Lewis angry purple hulk OF COURSE Ray Lewis puts illegal muscle-growing antler extract on his tongue. (Deadspin)

Ashley Judd and her husband Daria have mutually ended their marriage. (People)

Surfer Garrett McNamara rode a 100-foot wave in Portugal and didn’t die. (Daily Beast)

John Mayer creeping towards Girls star Allison Williams like the blob. (Jezebel)

I would not recommend watching the video of the Cuban baby getting a tattoo. (IB Times)

Jason London looks like a gluten-free blueberry muffin after Arizona bar fight. (TMZ)

All the Steve Job makeup in the world can’t save Ashton Kutcher‘s performance. (Gizmodo

If Nicki Minaj Was President, She Would ‘Legalize Illegal U-Turns’

Nicki Minaj Jay Leno 2013 In a late Monday interview on The Tonight Show, Nicki Minaj talked to Jay about her days as a drama student at LaGuardia High, revealed her thoughts on Mariah (sarcastically calling herself “the biggest fan”), and her extreme disdain for traffic laws.

Minaj explains that in the perfect city of New York people turn around in the middle of the street without hesitation or consequences. Los Angeles, not so much.

I am a very aggressive driver… it just means that you get irritated by people driving slow.

My biggest pet peeve, and since I moved to L.A., I have to tell you guys, no disrespect but I’m a New Yorker, you guys have this issue with making illegal u-turns.  Continue reading “If Nicki Minaj Was President, She Would ‘Legalize Illegal U-Turns’”

Measure B Makes Condoms Mandatory in Porn

A few days ago, Measure B also known as the “Safer Sex in the Adult Film Industry Act” passed, officially making it illegal for porn stars to not wear condoms in Cali.

The thing is NOBODY wants to see condoms in their whackin’ videos because people turn to porn for an escape and don’t want to think about STDs or see penises even partially covered.

Can you imagine if all the female “actresses” had to wear dental dams and /or female condoms? You could officially call The Valley the horror capital of America.

Porn star James Deen (The Canyons, with Lindsanity) and adult film PR guy Christopher Ruth both told the Huffington Post that the measure will force everyone to relocate, taking “thousands of jobs and tax revenue out of Los Angeles and California,” and they’ve got their eyes on Vegas.  Continue reading “Measure B Makes Condoms Mandatory in Porn”

Josh Hutcherson’s Troublesome Fake ID

Looks like somebody’s baby-faced grin is the opposite of beneficial in certain scenarios.

19 year-old Josh Hutcherson plays strong survivalist baker boy Peeta to Katniss’ (Jennifer Lawrence) bow-wielding huntress in The Hunger Games. Apparently being stealthy while buying a $170 dollar bottle of whiskey is a little tougher…

Hutcherson, who has been quoted as saying “I think the age to go to war is 18…so I think the drinking age should be 18 as well,” was spotted buying the alcohol on April 18, along with some bread, at a Ralph’s Grocery Store in Sherman Oaks.

Continue reading “Josh Hutcherson’s Troublesome Fake ID”

Four Legit Reasons To Outlaw Public Breastfeeding

Selma Blair possesses a common attitude. On the topic of feeding her son Arthur, she told People“The only time he cries is if he’s hungry, we all have nipples. I don’t care who I offend; my baby wants to eat. If I can’t get a cover over me quick enough, so be it.”

I know I’m going to come off sounding mean. It’s not like she has to go home just because she’s breastfeeding, she can run to the bathroom or maybe a place that is child-sanctioned, like Chuck E. Cheese or Hooters.

I like Selma Blair… Hellboy II is my favorite comic book movie for god’s sake. I even liked when she snogged a ghost in The Fog remake. Regardless, here are my problems with public breastfeeding… Continue reading “Four Legit Reasons To Outlaw Public Breastfeeding”

NO Shark Fin SOUP FOR YOU, California

Shark fin soup, which can cost up to $100 a bowl, will no longer be available in the state of California because governor Jerry Brown has signed a bill banning its main ingredient.

Some residents are outraged, while others applaud the new law. The fins sell for more than $2,000 a pound and are sometimes used in meals to celebrate Chinese birthdays, parties and weddings…

Continue reading “NO Shark Fin SOUP FOR YOU, California”