Paul Walker’s Cause of Death and Last Words

Paul Walker racing gearPaul Walker‘s cause of death was revealed today by the Los Angeles County Coroner’s Office. He was in a horrible flaming car crash so it’s not exactly a huge shocker that he died from the combined effects of “traumatic and thermal injuries.”

While we’re waiting on toxicology reports that will likely come back negative (because it was 8:30 in the morning), a man who attended the charity event Walker was driving home from at the time of death has shared his last words…

“We’ll be back in five minutes.”

Because Walker was relatively young and fellow young people of today are absolutely INSANE, there are a bunch of cockamamie conspiracy theories floating around.

The theories involved Brian from Family Guy, the Illuminati and a drone strike. As in, Brian the Dog is in the Illuminati and called in a drone strike on Paul Walker.

Help Me Decipher Lindsay Lohan’s New Tattoo Before My Head Explodes and I Turn To Mush

Lindsay Lohan triangle tattooI dream of a world where you can’t throw a stone and hit three Lindsay Lohan stories in a single day. In that world I’m out of the job, but it’s still a nice thought. Until then, we can talk about Lindsay’s new tattoo…

Her latest ink is a red triangle and words that I think say “What dreams may close,” though the popular guess is “What dreams may come.” This chicken scratch obviously has something to do with the illuminati (though Perez says Scientology).

Or it’s just something Lindsay saw in a children’s book (this one?). Or she’s just a really big Robin Williams fan. We’ll never f*cking know (unless she writes about it on Twitter later).  Continue reading “Help Me Decipher Lindsay Lohan’s New Tattoo Before My Head Explodes and I Turn To Mush”

2012 Grammy Highlights, Adele, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj’s Illuminati Robe And More!

 There were many memorable moments of the 54th Annual Grammy Awards yesterday night. Even the red carpet show had its moments. The most shocking thing of all? Lady Gaga was there but didn’t make a big stink at the pre-show.

I didn’t even know she was there until they panned to her royal netted face and scepter-holding hands during her first loss to Adele in the ‘Best Pop Solo Performance’ category. (Gaga won nothing and lost to Adele three times)  Continue reading “2012 Grammy Highlights, Adele, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj’s Illuminati Robe And More!”