Cloudy With A 200% Chance Of Meatballs: Snooki Had A Baby!

Last I heard, Nicole Polizzi was in a hospital in lovely Livingston, New Jersey giving birth to a penne noodle covered in orange sauce. No, she isn’t battling a severe bout of dysentery or opening a Chinese/Italian fusion restaurant…

By now (seven days before labor day), Snooki and her 5’3″ off-duty lifeguard Jionni have welcomed a baby juicehead named Lorenzo into the world!

I imagine that everyone’s favorite sausage in a leopard-print dress is flashing a camera in her baby’s sensitive placental expulsion-covered face with intentions to sell the photos to People or Us Weekly in exchange for gumball machine coins.