There May Be a NEW INDIANA JONES in Town…

Bradley Cooper the a team shirtlessNerds, flex your gag reflex. People who thought Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was a completely acceptable movie: I have good news for you!

Disney may be recasting Bradley Cooper as Indy, replacing 71-year-old Harrison Ford after four runs as professor Jones beginning in 1981 with the spectacular Raiders of the Lost Ark. (I love the smell of melting Nazis in the morning.)

A source for Latino Review says the studio is “100% prepared” to move ahead with a younger actor for Indiana Jones 5, with Cooper at the head of the list. LR adds that Frank Darabont (The Walking Dead, The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles) is being considered for lead script writing duties.

Continue reading “There May Be a NEW INDIANA JONES in Town…”

Disney Buys Rights to [Either Save or Further Ruin] Indiana Jones

indiana jones recastWhile Disney hasn’t confirmed a release or production dates for the inevitable new Indiana Jones movie, they have officially acquired the rights from Paramount, giving them full ownership of the franchise.

From Variety:

Under the arrangement, Disney gains distribution and marketing rights to future films, in addition to retaining the ownership rights it secured when it acquired Lucasfilm.

Paramount will continue to be responsible for distribution of the first four films in the franchise and will receive a financial participation on any future films that are produced and released.

I can’t wait for them to recast Justin Bieber as Indy so he can use his diamond earrings as makeshift ninja stars and snap his whip at abominable snowmen with Mickey Mouse’s face and Goofy’s feet.

Funny Video: Honest Trailer – Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

In 2008, Steven Spielberg helped George Lucas destroy the Indiana Jones franchise the way he destroyed Star Wars, only instead of Jar Jar Binks (whose only saving grace is a Rolling Stone article from 1999 about the actor who played him), he used gopher hills, Shia LeBeouf and aliens.

Screen Junkies, makers of Honest Trailers for Inception, The Dark Knight Rises and more, feel your pain. It almost hurts to relive the montage of old-age Indy jokes and CGI monkeys.  Continue reading “Funny Video: Honest Trailer – Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”

Kali Ma! Translation: Pass The Heart Cake, Please

UK baker Lily Vanilli has perfected a medically-realistic heart-shaped cake. It is made of red velvet sponge cake topped with raspberry and blackcurrant sauce and will have you running up to strangers chanting with your fist open in no time…

I shouldn’t admit this, but I have a bizarre affinity for sequels that nobody else likes. Return Of The Jedi is my favorite Star Wars movie, I don’t mind David Fincher’s Alien 3, and I LOVE Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom.  Continue reading “Kali Ma! Translation: Pass The Heart Cake, Please”