Heathman Hotel Offers Fifty Shades-Inspired ‘Inner Goddess’ Package

You need to know that when I was fishing for laugh-worthy excerpts in E.L. James’ Fifty Shades Of Grey and Fifty Shades Darker I had a bucket on hand. A bucket to puke in every time Anastasia’s “inner goddess” is mentioned (that’s a lot of bile, believe me).

I wished I had a bucket or at least an emergency paper bag nearby when I read that the Heathman Hotel in Portland, Oregon is offering two exclusive Fifty Shades-related packages for fans.

Unsurprisingly, the cheapest is the “Inner Goddess” add-on. For $40 you can drink wine in your hotel room that would I guess have been approved by fictional BDSM millionaire (“Anastasia, I earn roughly one hundred thousand dollars an hour”) Christian Grey.  Continue reading “Heathman Hotel Offers Fifty Shades-Inspired ‘Inner Goddess’ Package”

‘Fifty Shades Darker’ Excerpts (NSFW)

I don’t condone book burning, unless it’s the Fifty Shades Of Grey series. 

If I had Tyler Shields’ photography skills and a camera worth more than $150 dollars I would buy several copies just so I could take photos of myself ceremoniously tossing them into a massive bonfire.

I’m not supportive of E.L. James and her “talent” for writing erotic novels. Novels about the two worst examples of each gender – people who I would personally shoot on sight if they weren’t fictional.

Christian Grey, who was abused as a child and now does nothing but sexualize a woman (Anastasia Steele) feels oppressed by the fact that she’s allowed to vote and work someplace other than a brothel.  Continue reading “‘Fifty Shades Darker’ Excerpts (NSFW)”