Current Photos of Actress Daveigh Chase Will Make You a Lot Less Afraid of ‘The Ring’

Daveigh Chase sexy I was in high school when The Ring came out. It was the first time in a decade everyone was talking about a horror movie in the same way I imagine they were when The Shining or Psycho debuted, and also the first time I was afraid of a common object (the TV).

All this thanks to a performance from Daveigh Chase, who played the nightmare-inducing Samara in the 2002 American remake of Ringu.

Now that I’m, uh, not 16, and Chase is 24, blonde and a frequent poster of sexy pictures on Instagram, I think we can all rest easy. (Or easier, at least?)
girl from the ring all grown up Now if only someone would post a photo of the horses from The Ring alive and well in an Easter-themed pasture somewhere dressed as My Little Ponies or unicorns…

Brooklyn Cop Killer Posted Photo of Murder Weapon on Instagram

brooklyn shooter murder weapon instagramMuch like woman-hater Elliot Rodger, Ismaaiyl Brinsley – the 28-year-old gunman who took out two police officers near a Brooklyn subway station yesterday – foreshadowed his murderous intent using social media, posting not only a photo of the weapon he used to shoot his ex-girlfriend, the two cops and also himself, but messages that read “I”m putting wings on pigs today,” “They Take 1 of Ours…… Let’s Take 2 of Theirs #ShootThePolice #RIPEricGarner #RIPMikeBrown,” and “This may be my final post.”

In an added tragic twist, Brinsley’s ex’s mother told the Baltimore police Brinsley was dangerous, but the NYPD didn’t receive the information until “moments before the attack” on officers Wenjian Liu and Rafael Ramos, who were shot in their squad car without warning at 2:47 p.m. on Saturday, December 20.

From left: Wenjian Liu, Ismaaiyl Brinsley and Rafael Ramos
From left: Wenjian Liu, Ismaaiyl Brinsley and Rafael Ramos

Read: Cop Killer Moments Before Shooting: “Watch What I’m Going to Do”

Meet Hefe Wine, the Man Behind the Alleged Iggy Azalea Sex Tape…

Hefe wine iggy azalea exThe only people who have seen Iggy Azalea’s sex tape at this point seem to be the “businessmen” over at Vivid Entertainment, who think the tape could actually be worth millions of dollars, possibly even more than saucer-eyed knob-polishers Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton.

The only people BESIDES of course Iggy herself and her co-star, former boyfriend and manager combo Hefe Wine.

Azalea is busy denying the tape’s existence while her lawyers are busy telling TMZ that it was filmed “without her knowledge or consent” and Hefe is busy pretending like he had nothing to do with it ending up at Vivid.

There’s also word that Iggy – known back then as Amethyst Amelia Kelly – may have accidentally signed over the rights to it to the douchey ex. (Which is bullsh*t, because the contract only related to music and music-related videos.Continue reading “Meet Hefe Wine, the Man Behind the Alleged Iggy Azalea Sex Tape…”

James Franco Hits on Teen Girl to Promote Teacher/Student Film, ‘Palo Alto’

James Franco LucyIn what is very likely an elaborate and bizarre scheme to promote an upcoming movie starring Emma Roberts, James Franco seemingly attempted to meet up with an underage Scottish girl named Lucy on Instagram.

A number of websites wrote about the scandal after the 17-year-old posted their conversation (Franco asking questions like “Do you have a bf?” “When is your bday” and “What’s your #?) on Imgur.

The girl was either in on it too or wasn’t and he had simply counted on her tattling to the news.

Palto Alto, out May 9, is reportedly about a high school teacher who has an affair with a teen soccer player. Check out the trailer HEREContinue reading “James Franco Hits on Teen Girl to Promote Teacher/Student Film, ‘Palo Alto’”

Gay Dads Kordale and Kaleb are too Fabulous For This World

black gay dads instagramSuper handsome African-American dads Kordale and Kaleb weren’t very surprised when people threw racist and homophobic shade at them for posting a photo of their morning routine with two of their three daughters on Instagram.

While the couple acknowledged in a statement to the Huffington Post that what they do in the comfort of their home is “no one’s business,” they also recognized that they knew the photo might get attention and they couldn’t go off the rails just because a bunch of assholes disagree with their lifestyle.

The only thing that surprises me is that common situations like this continue to shock others and are still considered “different,” even in the eyes of total jerk bigots with way too much time on their hands.

Continue reading “Gay Dads Kordale and Kaleb are too Fabulous For This World”

Rihanna Kicked Out of Place of Worship For Smizing, Applying Lipstick

Rihanna sexy hijab Rihanna continued showing off her skills as a heat-seeking missile for illegal activity during her Diamonds World Tour this weekend. Following a photo with an endangered loris (which led to the arrest of two Thai men) and visitation to a sex show where a woman turned water into soda the way Jesus turned water to wine (with his vaginal walls), Rihanna defiled a Mosque in Abu Dhabi by simply being herself.

With lips redder than the devil’s dick and a Tyra-approved glare, Rihanna as her least sexual self is still too hot for the Middle East.

Maybe before her show tonight in Israel she can go take a naked dump on The Western Wall or Mount Sinai in a Mel Gibson mask?  Continue reading “Rihanna Kicked Out of Place of Worship For Smizing, Applying Lipstick”

Rihanna Gets Fierce in African Penguin Exhibit

Rihanna penguins Leave it to Rihanna to jump into the penguin cage at an aquarium during a trip to South Africa like she’s on America’s Next Top Model.

Penguins be like, why u steal muh thunder, giant?

She did acknowledge the resemblance on her Instagram account, writing “Bitch stole my look” as a caption.

I know I haven’t talked about her since the 777 disaster, concert tardiness, and great boat a$$ incident of July, but I’m still harboring a lot of hatred over her never coming to Portland.

CLICK HERE for RiRi’s completely average and moderately sexy “Pour It Up” music video.

Justin Bieber Hitches Ride up the Great Wall on Bodyguard’s Shoulders

Justin Bieber great wallJustin Bieber can’t really be bothered to wear a shirt, pull up his pants, go the speed limit or walk up The Great Wall of China without help from his security team. In recent photos posted to Instagram, the 19-year-old turd that was never flushed was shown riding up the famous stairs in Beijing on two of his bodyguard’s shoulders. The positioning of his hands suggest that he is either masturbating or checking his phone, because his privilege equals my suffering.

Not that he wouldn’t be a twat without the fame, but at least he wouldn’t have the option to NOT walk up the Great Wall. He’d still be on YouTube smashing his vagina into a drum stool. Continue reading “Justin Bieber Hitches Ride up the Great Wall on Bodyguard’s Shoulders”

Andy Cohen: Sean Avery and I are Platonic Friends!

Sean Avery Andy Cohen instagramThere’s a really amazing[ly hard-to-believe] story that Bravo VP Andy Cohen is dating Elisha Cuthbert’s ex-boyfriend, former New York Ranger Sean Avery.

They are rumored to be secretly engaged after two-and-a-half years of dating, but Cohen insists they are strictly friends without benefits.

“Dude, Sean Avery is straight. Do you understand that? A gay guy and a straight guy should be able to be friends without you asking me if we’re engaged,” he told a paparazzi.

I think the only fucking they’re doing is with the media. In a never-ending game of hash tag, you’re it, Cohen’s response to relationship questions from fans on Twitter is “ask @imseanavery.”

The “I’d be happy if Sean and I were banging” thing also isn’t exactly clear evidence to the contrary…

 

Katy Perry Wonders How Rihanna Can Smoke So Much Pot and Still Look Okay

Katy and Rihanna friendsOnce when I was very young I cut a worm in half to see what was inside, and while I no longer condone the killing of innocent living creatures for science, I know you’d find less if you did the same to Katy Perry.

Many things seem to perplex her. Things like dating men who don’t smell, walking and talking at the same time, and how and why her friend Rihanna can stay up all night in a hotboxed hotel room watching Adventure Time and still look her age (25) or younger.

“I think that Rihanna always looks so fresh and I’m like, ‘How do you do that? We all know how much pot you smoke! And you don’t sleep because you’re on Instagram at four o’clock in the morning,” Perry tells Elle Canada.

Continue reading “Katy Perry Wonders How Rihanna Can Smoke So Much Pot and Still Look Okay”

Scott Disick Rubs Money on His Butt and Face

Scott disick toilet paper moneyScott Disick holding money
“Lord” Scott Disick should get paid to have someone write a book for him if he hasn’t already. It can be all about how many doors open for you once you marry and impregnate a famous rich girl.

And also the EXACT amount of money you make from being Kourtney Kardashian’s house elf.

Fortunately we don’t have to wait, because Scott has just posted a series of photos on Instagram of his true love in various positions…

Against his face, as toilet paper, and spread eagle near his various purses and watches.  Continue reading “Scott Disick Rubs Money on His Butt and Face”

Nick Jonas Shows Off Disney-Owned Nipples and Body Hair

nick jonas shirtlessLike every other average late 20-something American, I can’t tell the Jonas Brothers apart or name a single one of their songs. Kevin and Nick are especially tough because of the hair.

The shirtless one shown here is Nick (the one with diabetes), Kevin is the one with the reality show and Joe is the black swan Valderrama-looking motherfucker who dated a bunch of starlets.

Now that we’ve lost brain cells with the lesson, check out the super contrast-y body of that one guy who was really popular for a few years. Disney is a gateway drug to nudity.

I have yet to meet a Jonas Bro fan, but that’s probably because I have no desire to walk around grade schools with this picture saying “HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN?” …I’ve been to jail once and I really don’t want to go back unless I get a callback on #OITNB as Tricia’s sister.

Ashley Benson Does Her Best Amanda Bynes

Ashley Benson Amanda Bynes Amanda Bynes and Ashley Benson have almost nothing in common besides, oh, being blonde, having the same initials and starting out on family-friendly TV shows, but that didn’t stop Ashley (of Pretty Little Liars and Spring Breakers) from imitating Amanda on Instagram.

“Doing my Amanda Bynes look this afternoon,” Benson wrote under a photo of her in the full plastic pirate duck face Bynes so frequently makes on Twitter and Vine.

A bunch of people were like *GASP*, don’t make fun of crazy people! (Amanda is STILL in the psych ward for accidentally lighting her pants on fire in a stranger’s yard).

But I’m like, more power to her? It’s not like she actually called Amanda ugly or anything…

Read: Rihanna on Amanda Bynes: ‘See What Happens When They Cancel Intervention

 

Justin Bieber’s Mom is Truly Always Watching Him

Justin Bieber eye tattoo Justin Bieber just got a tattoo of his mom’s eye on his inner elbow because even though they probably don’t talk that much and it won’t keep him from spitting on people and turning yellow buckets yellow-er, he technically loves her because she’s responsible for his fame and owns his soul forever.

And it’s actually the best tattoo on his gross gangly body.

I guess he’s moving towards looking more like the perfect combination of fully-tatted Rob Van Winkle of today and circa 1990 “Ice Ice Baby” flat-top Vanilla/brunette Dolph Lundgren.

Speaking of people named Rob, Justin’s message on Instagram, “Moms always watching,” really reminds me of when Rob Kardashian said that it’s weird having Kris Jenner’s face on his right arm because that’s the one he employs solely for whacking and taking handouts from his sisters.  Continue reading “Justin Bieber’s Mom is Truly Always Watching Him”

Chris Pratt Gives Up Beer, Instantly Looks Adonis-y

Chris Pratt shirtless instagram Chris Pratt’s Parks and Rec’s co-stars are giving him a hard time about the hard body he acquired to play Peter Quill/Star-Lord in Marvel’s new superhero franchise, Guardians of the Galaxy.

After Pratt, who plays the adorably goofy shoe-shining lowlife Andy Dwyer on the hit NBC comedy wrote “Six months no beer” on Instagram along with the photo, Rob Lowe replied “You CANNOT return to Pawnee like that!”

Jim O’Heir (Jerry) chimed in with “Damn. Now they’ll never be able to tell us apart. #twins”

The best by far was from Retta (Donna) who totally wants him to guard her galaxy. “STOP IT!!!!!!! Look at YOOOOUUU papi. #NotMadAtIt.”

Read: Amy Poehler Casts ‘Parks And Rec’ Characters On ‘Game Of Thrones’ (PHOTOS)

Bieber and Gomez Re-Re-Re-Re-Kindle Romance

Justin and Selena back together 2013 Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber – unofficial Guinness Book of World Record holders for breaking up and getting back together the most – united on Instagram, confirming rumors that they loved each other like love songs as long as you love me on the 4th of July. Whatever. I’m more interested in the face Taylor Swift is making at this exact moment… Say what you want about Swifty, but she doesn’t go back for seconds. She feeds the strays, kicks them out, then locks her house up like Ethan Hawke in the The Purge to write a Grammy-winning cash cow of a song about them.

Speaking of relationships, I just lost an entire friendship because someone I’ve known since 3rd grade started dating my other [former best] friend’s ex-boyfriend.  Continue reading “Bieber and Gomez Re-Re-Re-Re-Kindle Romance”

Are Jennifer Lawrence and Rihanna Friends?

Rihanna Jennifer Lawrence instagramIt certainly appears that way.  Which is so unfortunate because Jennifer Lawrence is so awesome, and Rihanna’s so annoying a whore.

The two ran into each other at a restaurant in Paris during Fashion Week, and snapped this adorable picture.

Just look at the difference in the way they’re dressed.  Jennifer’s got that midwest charm, looking like the girl next door.  Gosh, she’s just great.  And Rihanna’s next to her looking like…that.  In a restaurant.  A restaurant in Paris.  Take a fucking shower. 

Jennifer just doesn’t look as into it–she probably doesn’t want Rihanna to touch her and get her all sticky.  And based on the picture’s caption–and the fact that it was posted from Rihanna’s account–it appears that Rihanna was the excited one.  I can see Jennifer’s point of view. I probably wouldn’t be into it either if it weren’t for the fact that if I ever met Rihanna in a restaurant, I’m certain she’d get me high and bang me on the table right then and there.  Because she’s Rihanna.  She does that stuff.  Continue reading “Are Jennifer Lawrence and Rihanna Friends?”