Drown Yourself in a Tub of Bronzer to Tan Mom’s Song

Tanning Mom songDirt-faced street peasant Patricia Krentcil, also known as “Tan Mom,” lurched and rubbed her brown body all over the recording studio to create a new song with the standard issue auto-tuned chorus.

In “It’s Tan Mom,” Krentcil tells us that she’s the sexiest fame-whore mom in the world of Z-list fame-whore moms. “Sexier” than porn star/Teen Mom Farrah Abraham and “hotter” than Octomom, she says.

Here are some lyrics by (or written for) the New Jersey potato skin:

“My name is Tan Mom. Tanning is the bomb.”

“I’ll be in not a tanning booth but outside with the birds. No, that doesn’t work, forget the birds.”

“I’ve got a message to use protection from the sun. Hahahaha.”  Mo’ intellectual wordthings…