Stand by for Maximum Butts: J-Lo and Iggy Azalea Made a Video Together…

Jlo Iggy azalea bootyThe oldest butt and the newest joined forces for a song called, get ready for it, “Booty.” A middle-eastern tune best served after repeated viewings of Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda,” the “Dance (Ass)” remix and Kim Kardashian’s entire Instagram.

Seriously, how many simple-minded men have to die of heart problems all so Jennifer Lopez can feel superior to Kim and Nicki?

You know she came up with this concept after turning around in the mirror asking Evil Queen-style who has the roundest derriere of all?  Continue reading “Stand by for Maximum Butts: J-Lo and Iggy Azalea Made a Video Together…”

Jennifer Lopez Performs for Corrupt Turkmenistan Leader

Jennifer Lopez swimsuit magazineJennifer Lopez is pissing a lot of people off after performing “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” to the leader of Turkmenistan, Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov (yikes, we’ll call him Gurb), on Sunday, garnering criticism from the Human Rights Foundation and pretty much everyone.

Why? Because Gurb is a corrupt authoritarian leader of one of the most corrupt and repressive countries in the world. He has been in power since 2006 and has made no improvements whatsoever to the country’s quality of life, which needless to say, is low.

He’s kept in place previous bans on everything from video games, to car radios, to facial hair. The state maintains a high level of control of the media and news, and is ranked as one of the most censored countries in the world. And any government opposition will get you life imprisonment.

Whoa. Whoa indeed! Human Rights Foundation president Thor Halvorssen said the same thing, before releasing the following statement:  Continue reading “Jennifer Lopez Performs for Corrupt Turkmenistan Leader”

‘You Knew Me Better Than This:’ Jennifer Lopez Shames Fans Who Believed She Had A Maid Fired Over An Autograph

With pop stars, I tend to like the music more than the person behind it, but in the case of Jennifer Lopez, I like the person better than the music.

That’s not to say that she’s Mother Teresa, who danced on handcrafted wooden tables instead of Fiats (big difference), but I did doubt the credibility of a hotel maid who claimed Yennifer got her fired her because she wanted an autograph.

“C’mon thought you knew me better than this.. Would never get anyone fired over an autograph. 1st I heard of this was on twitter. #hurtful,” LoFiat tweeted as a response to anyone who thought the story wasn’t total caca.

Continue reading “‘You Knew Me Better Than This:’ Jennifer Lopez Shames Fans Who Believed She Had A Maid Fired Over An Autograph”

Shirley Manson Recounts Intense Meeting With J-Lo

Garbage frontwoman Shirley Manson told Girl On Guy’s Aisha Tyler about an early encounter with a pop star she’d spoken ill of to the media earlier in her career in a podcast interview released Thursday.

When Tyler asked Manson if she ever had a public moment where she thought she was going to say something “explosive” or incendiary to the media, she responded with this anecdote:

“One really stupid thing I said was, I kind of went after J-Lo. Which I do regret actually because I then met her many years later and I respect her, she’s hardcore. She’s a hard worker. She’s fought tooth and nail to do what she does for a living.”  Continue reading “Shirley Manson Recounts Intense Meeting With J-Lo”

Video: Sherry Vine – “You’re A Whore”

You are all familiar by now with Jennifer Lopez’s “On The Floor” featuring Pitbull so I figure I’d introduce you to the Weird-Al-drag-queen version of the song.

It was posted quite a long time ago (June 2011) but it’s one of my favorites by Sherry Vine, visionary creator of classics like Adele’s “Coz My Holes So Deep” and Rihanna’s “We Found Sperm.”

Continue reading “Video: Sherry Vine – “You’re A Whore””

J-Lo Bought Her Son A Hot Wheels Truck

Jennifer Lopez bought her 25 year-old son boyfriend a customized Dodge Ram truck for his birthday on Friday.

People like to put emphasis on Jennifer’s age (she’s 42) and say they’re together cause he wants money and she wants to feel young, but it’s unnecessary.

I don’t criticize the age difference, I criticize her general taste in men, and this is a step down from everybody. Casper Smart might as well be Kevin Federline or former J-Lo hubby Cris Judd.

Continue reading “J-Lo Bought Her Son A Hot Wheels Truck”

Video: Jennifer Lopez – “Dance Again”

Jennifer Lopez REALLY ‘loves to make love’ to Casper Smart. Her words not mine. Other favorite hobbies include dancing, bodypaint, and making people uncomfortable.

I’m personally glad that my ceiling isn’t made of writhing naked people, and that gravity applies to my home. I have a body odor phobia. What’s that called? Bromidrophobia, thanks Google. Continue reading “Video: Jennifer Lopez – “Dance Again””

Jennifer Lopez’s Y Chromosome Stunt Double

Women using a male stunt doubles isn’t as uncommon as you think. There simply aren’t enough girls in the business of flinging their bodies into blocks and out of buildings.

If you ever saw the excellent documentary Double Dare which chronicled the daily lives of stuntwomen Zoe Bell (Xena, Death Proof) and Jeannie Epper (Wonder Woman) you’d know that they are out there.

Still, Angelina Jolie had a male double in Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle Of Life during the wingsuit scene and now Jennifer Lopez is utilizing one in her latest music video, “Follow The Leader” which is directed by her boyfriend, Casper Smart.  Continue reading “Jennifer Lopez’s Y Chromosome Stunt Double”

J-Lo Grabs Herself And Revisits ‘Enough’

Jennifer Lopez played an abused wife who learned to hit back in the 2002 film, Enough, and now, she’s taken that a step further in a new spread for V Magazine.

And by spread, I mean she has a penis, or a bulge caused by an improperly designed Cleto Reyes groin and abdominal protector.

Enlarged clitoris or not, this shoot brings back memories of a better time, when she still had baby fat and side bangs and the biggest butt in town.

Now she’s a three-time divorcee, on American Idol and Q’Viva with Marc Anthony plus dancing on Fiats with her legs in the air.

I’m starting a bring-andro-J-Lo-back petition. Maybe there’s hope hidden in these photos?  Continue reading “J-Lo Grabs Herself And Revisits ‘Enough’”

Oscar Peep Show: J-Lo’s Nip And DEAR GOD ANGELINA, PUT YOUR LEG AWAY!

My vision isn’t all that good to begin with, making barely discernible things even harder to spot. Usually I’m the only one inappropriately yelling about nip slips (surrounded by family) during awards shows or televised concerts.

After Sunday’s Academy Awards ceremony I realized it wasn’t just me who thought they saw J-Lo’s side areola while onstage with Cameron Diaz.

No matter how I peer at it through my old man magnifying glass I just can’t tell if there’s anything there or not. From far away there does seem to be a larger shadow on the right side?  Continue reading “Oscar Peep Show: J-Lo’s Nip And DEAR GOD ANGELINA, PUT YOUR LEG AWAY!”

So This is Jennifer Lopez’s New Boyfriend?

Casper Smart is no longer a rumored boytoy of J-Lo, he’s a sure thing. You know how I know? Jennifer Lopez has consistently bad taste in men. I once confused Marc Anthony for the hamster I had in 2nd grade. And who remembers Ojani Noa, or Cris Judd?

Like Smart, Judd was a choreographer and dancer/”actor.” Though when a dancer calls themselves an actor it’s the equivalent to a stripper calling themselves a dancer.

Continue reading “So This is Jennifer Lopez’s New Boyfriend?”

Jennifer Lopez Went Cray Cray At The AMAs

I think J-Lo figured thar since Lady Gaga wasn’t at the American Music Awards, she had to fill her shoes and inject her performance with random, loud and memorably over-the-top puzzle pieces to make up her medley of “Papi” and “On The Floor.”

First she sang a tiny bit of the ballad “Until It Beats No More,” tricking the audience into thinking she was going to cry, then poof, her clothes flew off. Covered in nothing but dangling flesh-covered strings, J-Lo serenaded us with her biggest hits of 2011.

Continue reading “Jennifer Lopez Went Cray Cray At The AMAs”