Sony Pulls ‘The Interview’ From All Theaters

Kim jong il death scene the interviewSeth Rogen and James Franco’s The Interview has been scrapped from all major theaters by Sony, who also reportedly have NO PLANS to release in on DVD or on demand due to the plot of the entire movie, specifically a scene were their beloved(?) leader Kim Jong-un burns to death in slow motion.

Leaked emails from Rogen himself detailed the gory scene, which apparently included “hair burning,” “face embers” and a “wave of head chunks.” 

Sounds hilarious, right? North Korean hackers didn’t quite think so…

After catching wind of The Interview, a group calling themselves the “Guardians of Peace” threatened to bomb any venue who dared screen it, 9/11 style.

Warning

the interview posterWe will clearly show it to you at the very time and places “The Interview” be shown, including the
premiere, how bitter fate those who seek fun in terror should be doomed to.
Soon all the world will see what an awful movie Sony Pictures Entertainment has made.
The world will be full of fear.
Remember the 11th of September 2001.
We recommend you to keep yourself distant from the places at that time.
(If your house is nearby, you’d better leave.)
Whatever comes in the coming days is called by the greed of Sony Pictures Entertainment.
All the world will denounce the SONY.

Continue reading “Sony Pulls ‘The Interview’ From All Theaters”

James Franco is Telling Tall Tales About Lindsay Lohan Again

James Franco still seems really overly upset about being on that list of famous dudes Lindsay Lohan slept with.

After denying it adamantly and telling Howard Stern about her stalker tendencies, he’s gone out of his way to bring it up again, this time in an article on Vice where he describes the time he read Nine Stories to her for no apparent reason besides that he wanted his name to be mentioned in the same breath as J.D. Salinger’s.

James seems to have pulled a Maureen Dowd and eaten too many weed chocolates, because the story is 80% nonsense references to movies and actors he enjoys and 20% Lohan.

Here’s every namedrop and movie mention, so you can get an idea of just how ADD he is:

Leo DiCaprio, Lukas Haas, My Own Private Idaho, Kurt Cobain, Rebel Without a Cause, Gus Van Sant, Titanic, Martin Scorsese, River Phoenix, Witness, Harrison Ford, Buffalo ’66, Woody Allen, Christian Bale, Spring Breakers, Harmony Korine, David Blaine, American Psycho, Andy Kaufman, Milk, Keanu Reeves, Nicolas Winding Refn, Drive, Cher, Burlesque, Terry Richardson, Meryl Streep, Buddha. (The worst part is, I left quite a few out.)

He claims Lindsay crept into his room at Chateau Marmont one night because she was lonely and that he ran his fingers through her hair after she passed out with her head on his chest which honestly makes him just as weird as her.  Continue reading “James Franco is Telling Tall Tales About Lindsay Lohan Again”

How to Become One of America’s Least Favorite Actors in Just a Few Weeks, By James Franco

James Franco averageAre you suddenly finding yourself randomly irked and annoyed by James Franco, or am I the only one dumbfounded by the shameful feeling of not “getting” Spring Breakers? Oh, you too? Let’s join hands and vent in unison.

No one can deny that Franco, in his 35 years, has had an impressive career. Since his big break as greasy stoner (the person we all believe him to be in real life) Daniel Desario on Judd Apatow’s comedy goldmine (and NBC’s nightmare) Freaks and Geeks at age 21, he’s kissed Sean Penn, done the five knuckle shuffle while bleeding on a canyon wall, entangled naked Disney stars in his cornrow web of pimped-out lies and terrorized both Spider-Man and the wicked witches of Oz. His greatest triumph of all might be still managing to get work after bombing harder than a grandpa at Okinawa at the 2011 Oscars.

That’s not all. James – who doesn’t seem to have much going on in the motor skills department – often teaches filmmaking classes in both California and New York and still finds the time to write blog posts for the Huffington Post. In a recent post, he copies and pastes a poem he’s written.

The actor that fucks a goat in my film
Was home-schooled because his parents didn’t
Want him to be subjected to drugs, guns and violence.
“And blacks,” I think.
Indian River, the school is called.
Tyrone is his name, a handsome, dumb-faced kid.
There were baby goats; they ran around their pen on stiff, stumpy legs.

James Franco wants us to think he’s a lot smarter than he is. James Franco thinks he’s a lot smarter than James Franco, but James Franco isn’t a secret genius, he’s like every other actor and actress. He needs the fame and the spotlight, but he resents needing it and therefore resents himself, and instead of just taking up golf or buying a motorcycle, he writes goat-fucking poems. I want to reach out and pet him and say, “It’s okay, James. You’re not the only one suffering.”  Continue reading “How to Become One of America’s Least Favorite Actors in Just a Few Weeks, By James Franco”

James Franco Hits on Teen Girl to Promote Teacher/Student Film, ‘Palo Alto’

James Franco LucyIn what is very likely an elaborate and bizarre scheme to promote an upcoming movie starring Emma Roberts, James Franco seemingly attempted to meet up with an underage Scottish girl named Lucy on Instagram.

A number of websites wrote about the scandal after the 17-year-old posted their conversation (Franco asking questions like “Do you have a bf?” “When is your bday” and “What’s your #?) on Imgur.

The girl was either in on it too or wasn’t and he had simply counted on her tattling to the news.

Palto Alto, out May 9, is reportedly about a high school teacher who has an affair with a teen soccer player. Check out the trailer HEREContinue reading “James Franco Hits on Teen Girl to Promote Teacher/Student Film, ‘Palo Alto’”

James Franco Releases “For Your Consideration” Poster for His Role In Spring Breakers

James Franco Sprin BreakersJames Franco wants you to consider some shit. Specifically, he wants your vote for Best Supporting Actor in the next round of Celebrity Circle Jerk Academy Awards.

The recently-roasted actor is featured in a “For Your Consideration” poster holding an Oscar in each hand, with the caption “Consider This Sh*t” at the bottom, a reference to his Riff Raffy Spring Breakers character Alien. It’s one of James Franco’s most interesting and fuckin’ weird roles, but it was lauded by critics as one of his best, and an Oscar nom is certainly not outside the realm of possibility.

The film tells the story of four college whores who rob a bank and use the money to head down to St. Petersburg, FL for the trashiest spring break in history.

In addition to a ton of awesome, nostalgia-inducing partying, the girls eventually meet Alien and get pulled into his gangster life of drug and weapon distribution.  Continue reading “James Franco Releases “For Your Consideration” Poster for His Role In Spring Breakers”

James Franco’s Birthday Cake Hurts Me All Over

James Franco birthday cake James Franco turned 35 on April 19. This is his completely unappetizing birthday cake.

It’s adorned with a sickly grey dildo, anal beads, a ball gag, and tasseled leather whip.

Franco said little about it on WhoSay besides that it was presented to him in Miami. Not a word about what it tasted like (cherry-flavored earthworms?) or why it was given to him and not Ian Somerhalder or whoever’s rumored to play Christian Grey this week.

I’m looking at this cake with my eyes, and it’s hurting other parts of my body, including my stomach.

The beads look like a child at an impoverished art school’s attempt to sculpt the hungry hungry caterpillar, the gag makes me think of Pulp Fiction and the strap-on looks like congealed seal skin.

Director Harmony Korine Caught Trying to Steal From Meryl Streep

Meryl Streep Julia Child chickenOn Monday night David Letterman told James Franco that Spring Breakers director Harmony Korine was banned from The Late Show in 1998 for rummaging through Meryl Streep’s things.

“I went upstairs to greet Meryl Streep and say ‘Welcome to the show,’ and she was not in there and I looked around and found your friend, Harmony, going through her purse. True story,” Dave said, raising his hand in the testifying stance.

If Jennifer Lawrence was almost written off as an eternal bitch for cracking wise about “beating Meryl” at an awards show, then what is a fitting punishment for stealing her lipstick and compact? Castration in an Iraqi torture chamber seems fitting. (I already hated Harmony Korine.)

Trailer: Spring Breakers

Last year in September I wrote about the upcoming soon-to-be-forgotten disaster that is Spring Breakers, a movie consisting of half-naked ABC Family and Disney stars like Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, and Ashley Benson.

James Franco, who once wrote about the difference between fantasy and reality and only working on movies he “cares about,” is a cornrowed nightmare in this, smiling his creepy metal grin at young girls who appear to be the fantasy to his nightmare.  Continue reading “Trailer: Spring Breakers”

‘Freaks and Geeks’ Cast Reunited For Vanity Fair Comedy Issue [PHOTOS]

Freaks and Geeks reunion cast 2Judd Apatow’s guest-edited Vanity Fair Comedy Issue has something to do with Leslie Mann in a bikini and Megan Fox dressed as a Shriner, but it’s also a Freaks and Geeks reunion!

Inside (and online) you’ll find exclusive set photos, interviews with cast and crew and the entire reunited cast (including the Weir parents, Samaire Armstrong, Lizzy Caplan, Millie and Cindy Sanders).

There are also detailed descriptions of what would have happened to every character if the show hadn’t been cancelled after the first season in 2000.

Lindsay Weir (Linda Cardellini) becomes a performance artist in New York while brother Sam Weir (John Francis Daley) explores a strange relationship with his alcoholic drama teacher.  Continue reading “‘Freaks and Geeks’ Cast Reunited For Vanity Fair Comedy Issue [PHOTOS]”

‘Spring Breakers’ Was Designed To Make You Feel Old And Perverted

EVEN THOUGH the stars of Spring Breakers (Ashley Benson, Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, and Rachel Korine) are portraying college kids and are not technically minors, you will feel like a dirty pedophile after simply viewing one promotional photo.

Imagine what will happen when you see the movie. You’ll get put on “the list.” You know, the one viewable by location on the Offender Locator app.  Continue reading “‘Spring Breakers’ Was Designed To Make You Feel Old And Perverted”

Did Emma Watson Walk Off The Set Of Seth Rogen’s ‘The End Of The World?’

No, Emma Watson didn’t walk off the set of the upcoming film The End Of The World written by Seth Rogen and starring him, James Franco, Jonah Hill, Jason Segel, Paul Rudd, and Michael Cera…

But SOMEBODY did. And I need help cracking the mystery of the primadonna actress. James Franco was conducting an interview with Mila Kunis when he told her:

“So a funny thing happened on this movie I’m doing down here in New Orleans that made me think of you. The movie is a comedy, but it’s kind of an outrageous one, and this actress – I won’t say who, but she had a smaller role in the film — walked off the movie in the middle of a scene.” Continue reading “Did Emma Watson Walk Off The Set Of Seth Rogen’s ‘The End Of The World?’”

Mila Kunis For Interview Magazine, August 2012

Let me just say that if you’re taking, style, photography and writing standards into account, Interview Magazine has to be one of the most quality publications in existence.

Their latest piece is James Franco interviewing his Date Night and Oz: The Great And Powerful co-star Mila Kunis. In some parts (that I didn’t include) you end up learning more about James Franco than Mila Kunis, but it’s a win win.

Being herself: I don’t really have a perception issue. I’ve been pretty good about being who I am in the public’s eye. I don’t necessarily put on an act when I go on Jay Leno or dress differently in public than I do in private. I’d like to think I’m the same person, more or less.

Low-key lifestyle: I don’t live lavishly, so it’s not like I have 20 assistants and travel privately and shop every day. I actually live a very mediocre lifestyle.  Continue reading “Mila Kunis For Interview Magazine, August 2012”

Trailer: Oz The Great And Powerful

Take James Franco’s hard-to-miss face, Mila Kunis’ unmistakable voice, Sam Raimi’s notoriety and a $200 million dollar budget and you’ve got Disney’s Oz: The Great And Powerful.

Here we see Franco playing Oz, the con artist who, much like Dorothy, is whisked out of his good ol’ boy American hometown into a mysterious land full of magic, emeralds and witches.  Continue reading “Trailer: Oz The Great And Powerful”