Katy Perry Has Rocks in Her Knee

katy perry weird kneeKaty Perry has weird physical ailments just like you and me and your old dog or cat or the fish that one guy made the life vest for (so cute).

But Perry’s not a fish that can’t float, she’s one that floated straight into a riptide that made her knee funky forever.

“Wherever I go, I have these two rocks that I still can’t get out of my knee,” she told Jay Leno. “They’re from being slashed across the rocks in Rincon … which is a really popular spot in Santa Barbara.”

Perry added that she doesn’t mind her California-centric surfing injury because it makes her feel “closer to the earth.”

Mhmmm. And I have back problems even though my boobs are the size of Keurig samples and I barely ever lift anything heavier than a half empty box of Corn Puffs…  Continue reading “Katy Perry Has Rocks in Her Knee”

Leno Officially Handing ‘The Tonight Show’ To Fallon, ‘Late Night’ Still Unclaimed

Jay Leno Jimmy Fallon NBC announced Wednesday that unfunniest man in Hollywood Jay Leno will be retiring from The Tonight Show in Spring of 2014, giving him more time to penetrate exhaust pipes.

“This time around there really aren’t any complications like there were the last time,” said Leno, on that time he stole Conan’s job. “This time it feels right.”

Jimmy Fallon will step into Jay’s shoes for a reported pay increase of $12 million (from $5M), but there’s still no news of who will take over Late Night. Fellow SNL alum Seth Myers’ name is in the hat, but I’d rather see Aisha Tyler, or Jay Mohr. (Listen to their podcasts, Girl on Guy and Mohr Stories immediately.)

Continue reading “Leno Officially Handing ‘The Tonight Show’ To Fallon, ‘Late Night’ Still Unclaimed”

If Nicki Minaj Was President, She Would ‘Legalize Illegal U-Turns’

Nicki Minaj Jay Leno 2013 In a late Monday interview on The Tonight Show, Nicki Minaj talked to Jay about her days as a drama student at LaGuardia High, revealed her thoughts on Mariah (sarcastically calling herself “the biggest fan”), and her extreme disdain for traffic laws.

Minaj explains that in the perfect city of New York people turn around in the middle of the street without hesitation or consequences. Los Angeles, not so much.

I am a very aggressive driver… it just means that you get irritated by people driving slow.

My biggest pet peeve, and since I moved to L.A., I have to tell you guys, no disrespect but I’m a New Yorker, you guys have this issue with making illegal u-turns.  Continue reading “If Nicki Minaj Was President, She Would ‘Legalize Illegal U-Turns’”

Kimmel on Leno: ‘He Was a Master Chef Who Opened a Burger King’

UnknownJimmel Kimmel just dropped a bomb on fellow talk show host Jay Leno.

“As a comedian, you can’t not have disdain for what he’s done. He totally sold out. He was a master chef who opened a Burger King,” he says in the latest issue of Rolling Stone.

Kimmel’s idol, Howard Stern, has been laying into Jay for years without more than a peep of acknowledgment, so it’s unlikely that docile-bag-of-farts Leno will respond to this recent dig.

Also in the mag, Jimmy presents interviewer Jonah Weiner with “a vacuum-sealed baggie bulging with buds the size of baby Brussels sprouts.”

“If we smoke weed right now,” he asks, “is that on the record? I don’t know if I want this in the story, my kids are gonna read this.”

Megan Fox Talks Tattoos, Pregnancy and Club Thumbs With Jay Leno

Megan Fox thumbs Jay LenoMegan Fox did her first post-baby television interview last night with Jay Leno, discussing This Is 40, “pregnancy brain” (which made her to lose her phone and forget how to drive), tattoo removal and her infamous cavewoman thumbs.

Morning sickness/vampire baby: I was about two months pregnant. I was really sick. I was very nauseous. I had really bad morning sickness. It was so bad for me. I was convinced that I was, like, maybe birthing a vampire baby like the one in Twilight… you know what happens to Bella, where she’s in cold sweats all the time? I felt like that was happening because I had no vitamins and nutrients and I was just nauseous. Or an alien or something. Something not human.”

Continue reading “Megan Fox Talks Tattoos, Pregnancy and Club Thumbs With Jay Leno”

Garbage Perform “I Hate Love” on Leno 12/7/2012

garbage-jay-leno-2012 2Shirley Manson and her “boys” (Butch Vig, Duke Erikson, Steve Marker and Eric Avery) rocked Jay Leno’s Tonight Show stage with “I Hate Love,” from Not Your Kind of People.

“For those who missed it, here is ‘I hate Love’ on US TV show The Tonight Show. We had so much fun playing for the 101th time this year for Mr Jay Leno. My boys killed it and no you CAN’T have my boots. Sx,” Manson wrote on Facebook with a link to the video.

I can’t get it to embed, so watch it over at Dailymotion. [Photo via]

The Shore House Is ‘Still Standing’ After Hurricane Sandy

I’ve heard of homes flooded with four feet of water, childhood items ruined in basements, seen photos of a river rushing down Wall Street, abandoned Subway stations and submerged Yellow Cabs.

Hurricane Sandy-related property damages are estimated at around $20 billion but I’m still somehow not surprised that the place Snooki, JWoww, Pauly D, The Situation and the gang called home is intact.

Continue reading “The Shore House Is ‘Still Standing’ After Hurricane Sandy”

Obama Jokes About Donald Trump On Leno, Stephen Colbert Makes Ball-Shallowing Offer

On Wednesday Donald Trump was like “Hey Obama, if you show me your college transcripts and passport records I’ll give $5 million dollars to inner city kids.”
Not sure what he expected to uncover. Secret basement Columbia and Harvard Law courses on running a country you’re not from? Or perhaps his how-tos papers on printing fake Hawaiian birth certificates?

Fastforward to Wednesday night when Barack visited The Tonight Show with Jay LenoContinue reading “Obama Jokes About Donald Trump On Leno, Stephen Colbert Makes Ball-Shallowing Offer”

Rebel Wilson Sings “Edge Of Glory” To Jay Leno And Bryan Cranston [VIDEO]

Bridesmaids/Bachelorette star Rebel Wilson is one of the few stars to make Jay Leno watchable. It happened when she explained how she was cast in the musical comedy Pitch Perfect

“Cause it’s a comedy but you also have to sing in it, and they’re like ‘well, she kind of looks like Adele, but can she sing?’ I had to sing Lady Gaga ‘Edge Of Glory’ for my audition piece.”  Continue reading “Rebel Wilson Sings “Edge Of Glory” To Jay Leno And Bryan Cranston [VIDEO]”

Justin Bieber Is ‘Enough Percent’ Indian To Get Free Gas In Canada

I’m not aware of any law stating that Natives in Canada get gas free-of-charge, but apparently Justin Bieber is. In a recent interview with Rolling Stone he said,

“I’m actually part Indian. I think Inuit or something? I’m enough percent that in Canada I can get free gas.”

First of all, I would ask Rolling Stone to stop indulging him and putting him on the cover in white wifebeaters, but as a long time subscriber I cannot be surprised.

Over the years, they’ve put people like The Backstreet Boys, Snooki, and the cast of Glee + The Hills on their covers.

And Bieber must deserve the limelight, since he’s such a manly man.  Continue reading “Justin Bieber Is ‘Enough Percent’ Indian To Get Free Gas In Canada”

Elizabeth Olsen Lives In A Closet

In case you were still on the fence about Elizabeth Olsen being some ethereal, talented actress with Maggie Gyllenhaal-like plates for eyes that is in no way like her sisters, Mary-Kate and Ashley, I assure you, it’s all true.

During a visit to the Jay Leno’s Tonight Show she casually mentioned baking her own cake and going pan-shopping at Williams Sonoma for her 23rd birthday.

Other hints that she may be very down to earth (P.S. Lana Del Rey is too, dumbasses) are as follows:

1. She talks openly about moving often at a young age because of “water damage and mold issues” and “really bad luck.”
Continue reading “Elizabeth Olsen Lives In A Closet”

Snooki Wanted To Be Doused In Pickle Juice

August 30, 2011 Jersey Shore cast member Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi visited the Jay Leno show and casually explained how she nearly decided to have her new perfume smell exactly like pickles.

Remember those Lay’s Pickle Chips that seem a little elusive these days? It would be like when you eat those chips and the pickle dust gets all over your hands. Or like a pickle juice shower? One I imagine Britney Spears taking during pregnancy.

Snooki axed the idea after she realized that it was ‘gross’ and “Smelled like pickles and grass,” deciding instead to go with “Flirty and bubbly…and obviously DTF.” (Like her personality)

Continue reading “Snooki Wanted To Be Doused In Pickle Juice”