Vinny Guadagnino’s Anxiety Tips For Sale

I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to see a young and relatable person admitting that they struggle with clinical depression and anxiety, I just wish it wasn’t a Jersey Shore cast member.

There’s no doubt in my mind that the poor boy, who is perhaps the smartest on the show, suffers from anxiety, it’s just that people will take his book as seriously Snooki’s A Shore Thing and Confessions Of A Guidette plus Mike Sorrentino’s Guide to Creeping on Chicks.

That’s right, Vinny Guadagnino is the fourth Jersey Shore cast member (Jwoww had one too) to write a book. It will drop in April and is titled Control the Crazy: My Plan to Stop Stressing, Avoid Drama and Maintain Your Inner Cool.

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Snooki’s Monthly Twitter Summary Dec/Jan

If I had to pick one celebrity to stalk I’d pick Snooki without hesitation. If you’re going to talk about a famous person who involves their fans in their life, it doesn’t get much better than Nicole Polizzi. This month she reached four million Twitter followers, which is twice as many as her fellow Jersey Shore castmates who harbor about one or two million each.

Her charisma and public persona are the exact reason. She’s a person who uses Social media to her absolute advantage, and her fans love her in turn for constantly keeping them up to date on her every waking move.

Do I check her Twitter every day or even every week? No. But like every fascinated American teen to twenty-something, I watch Jersey Shore. I am also greatly amused by her feed and multiple daily posts, which I like to overload on all at once, every few months.

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Jersey Shore Season 5 Is Approaching

Jersey Shore wasn’t the same in Italy last season, plus it broke the number two rule of television…DON’T CHANGE THE LOCATION OF YOUR SHOW. That’s also directed at Weeds executives, who made the mistake of burning down Mary Louise Parker’s home in Agrestic, CA and moving to a bunch of weepy locations that made the actual viewer feel out of place.

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Why Is Snooki Still Dating That Jionni Guy?

After watching last night’s episode of Jersey Shore (season four, episode eight), I have to wonder why that adorable Chilean volcano sub sandwich is still dating that horribly unfun steroid pumpkin Jionni? During the episode, Jionni finally came to visit Nicole in Italy (taped in early 2011) and naturally she was as ecstatic as a 4’9″ guidette can be.

She immediately brought him to the smoosh/GTL impregnation room while he complained about wanting to “shower” in a high-pitched voice. Later, the whole group embarked on their usual quest to the Italian discotheque scene, wandering on cobblestones in high heels and gold and silver sneakers.

Snooki got all dressed up, in what Ronnie described as simply “a swimsuit…”

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Snooki’s Ed Hardy Decal, I Mean Tattoo

My favorite little 4’9″ meatball got a new tattoo on her right arm, a “crown cross and hello kitty bowl,” as she puts it. It’s kind of large and I’m not really a big fan of tattoos especially this kind.

It looks like it came from a Bret Michaels sticker book…

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Did Jwoww Get Botox Or What?

I keep watching season four of Jersey Shore and fearing the moments when I have to look at Jwoww’s stretched, unmoving face.

I went on Google image search on a desperate quest to find comparison photos and then sadly realized that she doesn’t actually look as different as I thought.

Can some expert surgeon examine Jwoww and tell me if she had work done? The gossiping, pop-culture-devouring monster inside of me really needs to know…

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Snooki Wanted To Be Doused In Pickle Juice

August 30, 2011 Jersey Shore cast member Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi visited the Jay Leno show and casually explained how she nearly decided to have her new perfume smell exactly like pickles.

Remember those Lay’s Pickle Chips that seem a little elusive these days? It would be like when you eat those chips and the pickle dust gets all over your hands. Or like a pickle juice shower? One I imagine Britney Spears taking during pregnancy.

Snooki axed the idea after she realized that it was ‘gross’ and “Smelled like pickles and grass,” deciding instead to go with “Flirty and bubbly…and obviously DTF.” (Like her personality)

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VMA Photo Slideshow (Plus Winner List!)

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Here’s a bunch of pictures of celebrities at the MTV Video Music Awards last night. Most of them look crazy, but at least they were having fun eh?

And here are the winners:

Video of the Year: Katy Perry, “Firework”
Best Female Video: Lady Gaga, “Born This Way”
Best Male Video: Justin Bieber, “U Smile”
Best New Artist: Tyler, The Creator, “Yonkers”
Best Collaboration: Katy Perry featuring Kanye West, “E.T.”
Best Hip-Hop Video: Nicki Minaj, “Super Bass”
Best Rock Video: Foo Fighters, “Walk”
Best Pop Video: Britney Spears, “Till the World Ends”
Best Video With A Message: Lady Gaga, “Born This Way”

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Jersey Shore Residents Are Stupid Even When There’s A Hurricane

As you know, Hurricane Irene is terrorizing the East Coast with its swirling winds and nonstop rainfall. It is a category one hurricane that first hit land in North Carolina, and is the first to make landfall in the United States since 2008.

At least seven people’s lives have already been claimed by Irene, and the hugely populated areas of the East Coast are now being hit, causing thousands of people to evacuate.

However, that has not stopped people from being idiots. I already saw a news story about a reporter today in Virginia who had an interruption due to a streaker who flashed not only his rear but his front-facing airbags as well…

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Hustler Loves “The Situation,” Abercrombie, Not So Much

Abercrombie & Fitch, the famous clothing line for youths and early 20-somethings issued a statement Tuesday that proposed an offer to pay Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino of Jersey Shore/ab-flashing fame to stop wearing their clothing, here’s what a spokesperson for Abercrombie said:

“We are deeply concerned that Mr. Sorrentino’s association with our brand could cause significant damage to our image.  We understand that the show is for entertainment purposes, but believe this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans. We have therefore offered a substantial payment to Michael ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino and the producers of MTV’sThe Jersey Shore to have the character wear an alternate brand.  We have also extended this offer to other members of the cast, and are urgently awaiting a response.”

I think referring to themselves as “aspirational” is a bit of a stretch considering they’re the ones that had to stop sending out copies of their A&F quarterly promotional publication due to lawsuits surrounding controversial imagery that included jailbait boobs and young men’s abs! (Not to mention claims of racial discrimination by former employees)

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Snooki Always Wears Furry Boots And I 100% Encourage It

I watch Jersey Shore pretty religiously, it’s a sickness of epic proportions that the whole country seems afflicted with. I’ve noticed during my many hours spent with my unhinged deer-eyes glued to the screen that the miniature Chilean volcano Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi only wears furry boots!

I am here to inform all women that do not meet the 5’4″ height requirement to wear furry boots at all times! Black ones, brown ones, white ones, yellow, whatever you can get your little smokies on.

I find it very cute and endearing and I want to hire you furry-footed midgets to stand in my living room as decoration while I watch Jersey Shore and you read me archived scripts from JS.


[Also, check out Deena and JWoww taking style notes from Snooki Stackhouse]

Jersey Shore Season 4 Premiere, Recap! (Snooki’s Workout + Jwoww’s Botox)

That’s right, tonight was a very special night. Another important moment in nothingness. Season four of Jersey Shore has finally arrived. The show premiered in Italy with many questions to be answered. Well, honestly, I had no questions. I knew that 1. there will be a car accident. 2. The cast is just as stupid in Italy as in America. And 3. everyone is going to “smush.”

The show starts out in the unfiltered smog of America’s poorly-aged butthole err garden state, NJ. Nothing interesting happens until the boys and girls, Mike “The Situation,” Jenni “Jwoww” Farley, Vinny, Pauly D, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, Ronnie and Sammi “Sweetheart” arrive in their new foreign home. Like everything else on the show, the new house looks like an imitation. A cheesy high-school project idea of what Italy would be. Marble, statues and pillars with red and yellow paint tossed in for good measure.

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