The Biggest Douche in Doucheville Cut Off His Pinky Finger

Jesse James finger Jesse James, the man famous for cheating on Sandra Bullock with nazi harlot Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, accidentally cut his pinky off today.

“My glove got caught into one of machines and took the finger off,” James told TMZ“They’re going to take a skin graft of the chunk of finger and then sew it back on.”

James, always the crowd-pleaser, posted three photos of his detached finger. (Click HERE and HERE.)

Good riddance. One down, ten to go. (It’s too bad his penis is unlikely to ever be near the chopping machine.)

I haven’t been this happy since Showtime cancelled Weeds. No. Not harsh enough. Since Gaddafi died? Hmm. Still not there. I think I need outside help.

Neck Tattoo To Marry Neck Tattoo: Deadmau5 Proposes to Kat Von D on Twitter

Kat Von D Deadmaus kissingSixth highest-paid DJ in the world Deadmau5 (real name: Joel Zimmerman) proposed to LA Ink star Kat Von D over the internet on Saturday.

“I can’t wait for Christmas so…. Katherine Von Drachenberg, will you marry me? @thekatvond,” Zimmerman wrote in a public Twitter message that included a picture of the ring.

Kat celebrated by drawing a picture of Joel with a butterfly on his head, while Joel expressed more online joy in another message that read, “holy fucking shit. im engaged and stuff!”

Holy fucking shit, Jesse James’ sloppy seconds, complete with face tattoos? She’s perfect!

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Kat Von D Says ‘I Deserve A Big Fat I Told You So’

Several months now since her breakup with Sandra Bullock’s ex, Jesse James, Kat Von D is spilling new information on James and admitting that everyone was right to assume that he wasn’t going to change or be faithful to her. She also says she’s tired of being confused with Michelle “Bombshell” McGee.

On Sunday night the LA Ink star took to Facebook in a post titled “Thank you, Jesse James,” to let her fans and the public in general know everything she was feeling about her “toxic” relationship. (What else would FB be used for? Keeping in contact with people? Pshhh, never)

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