Why ‘The Goonies’ Sequel Will Confirm Your Status as a Senior Citizen and Kill Your Already Dead Childhood

Goonies castRichard Donner – director of the original beloved Goonies film about a group of typically mischievous children on an underground treasure hunt – told TMZ “We’re doin’ a sequel” just this morning.

As exciting as that may sound, think about what it really means. A bunch nods to the original (the truffle shuffle, “Goonies never say die!” shots of the famous “Goonies house” in Astoria, Oregon, the oldest, most haunted town west of the Rockies), and maybe some cameos that might keep a fraction of the diehard, easily-pleased fans satisfied, but do the rest of us not know better?

First of all, John Matuszak, the man who played sloth – a former defensive lineman for the Houston Oilers – died of an overdose four years after The Goonies (1985) debuted in theaters (and grossed a surprising $9 million at the box office, btw).  Continue reading “Why ‘The Goonies’ Sequel Will Confirm Your Status as a Senior Citizen and Kill Your Already Dead Childhood”