Justin Bieber Visits a Brothel, Stands Up Fans in Brazil

Justin Bieber in a sheetJustin Bieber can’t get no satisfaction since his seemingly permanent separation from Selena Gomez, who seems to have completely tainted his feelings for “real” women.

Since visiting a strip club late last month, failing miserably (in a white sheet) to exit from a brothel in Brazil incognito, Bieber was most recently hit in the face with a water bottle during a concert. The boy disliked the sudden feel of plastic on his perfectly moisturized face, and ran off without returning to finish his set.

This is a simple case of neglect by his mother. All the kid really needs a blanket for his shoulders and a teddy bear that sings “if you want it, here it is, come and get it” when you pull a string in its back.