Katy Perry Steals Used Underwear From Granny’s Boudoir

Katy Perry made a splash when she wandered the streets of Paris (for fashion week) in some foam green creation that is likely from a suspicious thrift store that sells used underwear, probably stolen from the homes of recently deceased grannies.

Questionably obtained sheer skirt and drawers aside, I’ve always wondered, is she a mermaid? Will her legs slowly dissipate and transform into a long scaly tail that flops back and forth like Jessica Simpson’s knockers, Netflix stock, and Obama’s opinion on gay rights?

Her colorful hair and general lack of comprehension make me wonder such things for hours on end.

She also wore a very pointy ring, but I attribute that to her going to a dinner that honored Karl Lagerfeld, and she must’ve needed it to stab him in case he started mumbling about enslaving her for one of his German experiments.

Chanel Exec Karl Lagerfeld Insults Russian Men, Adele, Lana Del Rey & The First Lady

78 year-old Karl Lagerfeld, creative director and head designer for Chanel went on a tirade (with Metro news) that managed to backhandedly insult and compliment Lana Del Rey, pregnant chicks, Adele, all Russian men, the entire Greek and Italian nations plus Michelle Obama’s black ass.

The interview ends with the line, “Be politically correct, but don’t become a bore for that. People should be sensitive in these matters, but not make so much noise. Be politically correct, but do we have to know your opinion?” 

Lana Del Rey’s boobs: “In her photos she is beautiful. Is she a construct with all her implants? She’s not alone with implants.”

Adele’s weight: “The thing at the moment is Adele. She is a little too fat, but she has a beautiful face and a divine voice.” Continue reading “Chanel Exec Karl Lagerfeld Insults Russian Men, Adele, Lana Del Rey & The First Lady”