Kelly Osbourne Spray Paints the Night Away After Becoming Single

Justin Bieber Kelly OsbourneKelly Osbourne took graffiti lessons from none other than Justin Bieber and posted proof of the event on Instagram on the very same day she announced that her and Matthew Mosshart would no longer be getting married.

“The split is amicable and the pair continue to have nothing but the utmost respect for one another,” a statement released to Us Weekly read. “Kelly is looking forward to a new year full of fresh beginnings. No further comments will be provided by all parties and we request privacy, decorum and space from the press but don’t expect it.”

Here’s my dream scenario, Kelly dates Justin and eventually takes him home to meet her dad, the Prince of Darkness, who promptly bites off his head off and spits it into a bowl full of Altoids Sours.

Kelly Osbourne ‘Fine’ After ‘Fashion Police’ Seizure

Kelly Osbourne Fashion Police OscarsKelly Osbourne was rushed to the hospital today after suffering her first seizure on the set of E!’s Fashion Police in front of a full audience plus co-hosts Joan Rivers, Melissa Rivers and George Kotsiopoulos.

Osbourne reportedly said “I don’t feel good” before she fell out of her chair and began convulsing. She “came around” shortly after and was taken away on a stretcher by emergency responders as a precaution, according to TMZ.

Upon being asked about Kelly’s condition, Joan Rivers said “She is fine. We just saw her.”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [1-24-13]

Kelly Osbourne Matthew Mosshart engagedEveryone but Kelly Osbourne thinks Kelly Osbourne got secretly engaged. (E! Online)

Bradley Cooper is interested in playing Lance Armstrong in a biopic. (NBC)

“No ill feelings” between Faith Evans and Biggie mistress Lil’ Kim. (ohmyGAHH!)

Taylor Swift sits in a Disney window with Disney hair extensions. (Celebuzz)

Peter Robbins, voice of Charlie Brown, arrested for stalking in San Diego. (TMZ)

Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey arguing some more (so glad I don’t watch). (Radar)

Overseas Ikea commercial causes a stir for joking about transgender women. (Inquisitr)

Lady Gaga and Little Monsters Vs. Kelly and Sharon Osbourne (…and Joan Rivers)

Lady Gaga Kelly OsbourneLast week, Kelly Osbourne started a feud with Lady Gaga after telling Fabulous magazine that Gaga needs to put a leash on her fans because they are the ‘worst in the world.’

Gaga responded to Osbourne telling the press that Little Monsters told her to kill herself and that they hope she gets raped in a lengthy online message that read:

“I have empathy for you Kelly, but I feel it culturally important to note that you have chosen a less compassionate path.”

This is in reference to Fashion Police, the show in which Joan Rivers wittily compares women’s dresses to tampons, which Gaga says is “rooted in criticism, judgment, and rating people’s beauty against one another.”  Continue reading “Lady Gaga and Little Monsters Vs. Kelly and Sharon Osbourne (…and Joan Rivers)”

Kelly Osbourne Is Dating Alison Mosshart

Reformed “bad girl” Kelly Osbourne traded in her last boyfriend (who cheated on her with a pre-op transgender named Elle) for Matthew Mosshart.

If you’re at all familiar with the band The Kills, know that Matthew is lead singer Alison Mosshart’s brother and there is a strong resemblance.

In case the shorts and flowery kimono thing weren’t a big enough clue, they’re in Hawaii, for Jack Osbourne’s wedding.

Kelly also flaunted her bikini body, which is 50 pounds lighter because she eats cucumbers for breakfast.

In 2010 she told Shape that she’d “never worn a bikini” in her whole life.

Things change, but the Mossharts will always have long greasy hair.  Continue reading “Kelly Osbourne Is Dating Alison Mosshart”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [8-9-12]

Remember when Will Ferrell had to put on makeup to look like George Bush? (E! Online)

Very few people look good with red hair. Here’s a list of men and women who somehow do. (The Berry)

Possible Dawson’s Creek reunion on Don’t Trust The B? Yes please. (The Celebrity Cafe)

Raffi isn’t as friendly as you’d imagine. (Gawker)

Uma Thurman hugs headless Lucy Liu (it’s not what you think). (Pajiba)

30-year-old Paranormal State star diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. (TV Guide)

Soccer star Hope Solo is Ridin’ Solo against Japan’s offense, wins gold (NBC)

Quick! Somebody make a missing poster for Kelly Osbourne‘s eyebrows. (Evil Beet)

Matt Lauer ages himself, calls Meredith Vieira an “Indian giver” (Zap2it)

Hallelujah. Gossip Girl’s Penn Badgley is Jeff Buckley. (Stereogum)

Leslie Mann pokes Megan Fox‘s boob in the This Is 40 trailer. (Yahoo!)

Hatebreed doesn’t like when people identify them as white supremacists. (NME)

Worst Dressed At The 2012 Golden Globes

Sarah Michelle Gellar’s 2 year-old daughter literally picked out her Monique Lhuillier tie-dye gown. 

It’s funny – I didn’t try on that many dresses. They had them all lined up and I was working all week and my 2-year-old walked in, walked up this dress and said, ‘Mama, wear this!’

Continue reading “Worst Dressed At The 2012 Golden Globes”

Miley Cyrus Is A Stoner? ‘Surprise’ Is The Wrong Expression

I’m also not surprised that Paris Hilton or Sarah Silverman or freakin’ Willie Nelson for that matter, are fans of cannabis. The great thing about weed is it’s not as personality-specific as you think. The hobo on the street can stink of skunk weed, but so can your dad or some Ivy League wannabe.

Now, meth, coke and LCD, those are very specific. There are distinct caricatures of these people, because they are unmistakable. ANYWAY, Miley Cyrus aka Bob Miley is a stoner, I don’t care if she was smoking salvia or saliva or snake blood, she still also smokes pot. That is, if you even believe that wasn’t ganj.

A new vid from her 19th birthday party in L.A. has surfaced, it’s not of her smoking but it is of her talking about smoking.

Continue reading “Miley Cyrus Is A Stoner? ‘Surprise’ Is The Wrong Expression”

Kelly Osbourne Wants To Retire The Word ‘Tranny’

Kelly Osbourne did an interview with Glamour UK about three weeks ago where she expressed anger at her ex-fiance Luke Worrall for cheating on her with a pre-op transgender (pictured left). The comments were as follows:

“Everyone kept telling me that Luke was cheating on me, but I never believed them. It’s hard enough to get your head around someone cheating on you, but when someone is a chick with a dick? Up until then, I’d always thought that the worst way to get cheated on would be with an ugly girl. Don’t you think?”

Continue reading “Kelly Osbourne Wants To Retire The Word ‘Tranny’”