Khloe Kardashian Finally Filed For Divorce

We all predicted a Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom divorce as soon as we all heard they got married after only dating for one month, but we were wrong. The marriage lasted a good four years and didn’t end because they merely got sick of each other like so many other boring celebrity romances.

This one is officially ending after Lamar fell back into the arms of his old love, crack cocaine. Not to mention him driving down the wrong side of the road drunk and recording shirtless rap songs about cheating on Khloe. And of course, these are all things that were made painfully public, giving Khloe a handful of legitimate reasons to GTFO.

His eyes have been more glazed than Krispy Kreme since the loss of his NBA career (specifically with the Lakers) and I’m sure his dark past (drug-addicted father, mother died when he was 12) didn’t help.

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Lamar Odom Gets THREE YEARS OF PROBATION for Being an Irresponsible Drunk

Lamar Odom drivingRemember when Lamar Odom was arrested for driving in a slow but snakelike zig zag down the 101 under the influence of alcohol and God knows what else? (And by “God knows what else,” I mean crack.)

Well, on top of his license being revoked for most of 2014, he was just slapped with three whole years of probation for his little August joyride. This mostly due to Odom’s refusal to take a chemical test, which a California Highway Patrol officer told Radar is something “no one should ever do.”

Odom will also be forced to take an “alcohol education class,” because booze is bad mmkay.  Continue reading “Lamar Odom Gets THREE YEARS OF PROBATION for Being an Irresponsible Drunk”

Khloe Kardashian Drops ‘Odom’ From her Name, Keeps Ring On

Khloe Kardashian casualIn oddly sad celebrity news (if you’re capable of feeling sorry for people whose combined family income could get the country out of debt), Khloe Kardashian can’t go outside without someone whispering about her husband’s homelessness, affairs and the NBA career he could have had if he wasn’t addicted to crack.

This is however, a world where relationships begin and end on Twitter, as we saw with Miley and Liam and now Khloe, whose followers just witnessed the dropping of “Odom” in her handle.

While her sister Kim is busy being blonde in Paris with her baby daddy, infertile Khloe is pretending to enjoy the repetition of treadmills and salad (she was recently spotted at the gym and out at lunch with her mom) without Lamar, still sporting her wedding ring and LO hand tat.  Continue reading “Khloe Kardashian Drops ‘Odom’ From her Name, Keeps Ring On”

Lamar Odom Followed His Basketball Career, is Missing

Lamar Odom blue suit mtvAfter years of tabloids throwing random darts at the board, they finally landed one on Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom. Instead of an affair, it’s a drug problem.

It’s being reported that the former Lakers forward has been missing for the past two days and is on a suspected crack binge after the Kardashians attempted an intervention. God I hope Kanye wasn’t there. “Hey dog, I’m sorry you like drugs, but my new song “Bound 2″ is one of the best singles of all time! Download it if your hands aren’t shaking too bad, k?”

In 2011, Lamar spoke of the heroin addiction that plagued his father, Joe.

“I witnessed things that a 10-year-old definitely wasn’t supposed to see,” Odom said during an episode of Khloe and Lamar. “It’s hard for me to speak up on it and get it through to Khloe because she grew up so different.”

His mom died when he was 12, leaving him with the unstable father figure, so it’s pretty fucking impressive to me that he became a massive basketball star but sadly not terribly surprising that he turned to drugs.

Here’s a video of him and his teammates discussing his other addiction, to sugar. As in, somebody slap those rocks out of his hand and replace them with some Pop Rocks already.  Continue reading “Lamar Odom Followed His Basketball Career, is Missing”

Khloe Kardashian Isn’t Schtooping The Game Behind Lamar’s Back

Khloe Kardashian and the gameDr. Dre protégé The Game debunked rumors that he is a “major threat” to Khloe Kardashian’s marriage because she jumped on his back once at a park.

Earlier in the week, Star Magazine and Life & Style reported that Khloe  spends night and day talking about, texting and thinking about The Game. Even when she’s in bed with her husband, she’s masturbating with a Nike shoe, dreaming about his face tattoos.

“Khloe is my friend. She is like a sister. We have never and will never be sleeping together. Lamar is my homie and her husband and I wish people wouldn’t spread such false rumors,” he told TMZ.  Continue reading “Khloe Kardashian Isn’t Schtooping The Game Behind Lamar’s Back”

The End Of Khloe And Lamar…On TV, For A Second

Khloe & Lamar has not been cancelled, as we all initially thought. The show is simply on a hiatus.

Really? For a second I was weeping over the end of an era.

No more Lamar being grumpy over his recently soured NBA career, no more Khloe screaming “I love you doll” and inappropriately slapping her five sisters and mom on the behind?

Malika and Rob will just be funneled back onto Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Obviously, I watch the four K-Dash shows way too much. But it isn’t the end, of any of them.

“Our show is not canceled,” Khloe told ET. “Lamar and I have just chosen to take a break this summer. I feel like we’ve been on a whirlwind and doing back-to-back shows.”  Continue reading “The End Of Khloe And Lamar…On TV, For A Second”

Lamar Odom Is No Longer A Dallas Maverick

Khloe Kardashian’s husband, the 6’10” candy-addict is no longer a Maverick, but is he also not even a [decent] basketball player anymore? Only time will tell.

Many will say it was Khloe who sucked the life out of Lamar Odom (Yoko-style) when really it was the forced trade from his beloved Los Angeles that did it.

In the words of Tony Bennett:

The loveliness of Dirk Nowitzki seems somehow sadly gay/The glory that was Jason Kidd is of another day/I’ve been terribly alone and forgotten in Dallas/I’m going home to my city in the grey.

OK, that song might be a little altered, and he really isn’t going back to L.A. yet.

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Khloe And Lamar Are Going To The Longhorn State

It’s official, Lamar Odom has been traded to the Dallas Mavericks after his original trade to the Hornets with Pau Gasol (to Houston) for Chris Paul was rejected by NBA commissioner David Stern. The trade came at Odom’s request.

What this means for non-avid sports fans is a move for Khloe Kardashian, and a new location for one of four Kardashian-related reality shows, Khloe & Lamar. Who knows where the fate of Khloe & Kourtney Take Miami lies.

Originally Khloe Tweeted“I would go anywhere with my hubby,” and “I can survive anywhere, people are acting crazy! LOL New Orleans is a great place. As long as I’m with Lam, I’m good.” Her latest words of Twitter art are made of the same peppy material…

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