Wonderful Actor Leonardo DiCaprio is a HORRIBLE Dancer

There are a few locations and events where you are guaranteed to see a celebrity, and one of them is Coachella…

This is probably because so many of them were probably conceived at music festivals, it’s like salmon coming home to spawn. People like Lindsay Lohan and Vanessa Hudgens swimming towards massive piles of MDMA to the tune of Zedd’s “Clarity.”

This year, famous folk with freshly bleached buttholes wore properly Bohemian getups to the desert to see the likes of Outkast, Skrillex and Lorde. A wise woman with a camera caught none other than Leonardo DiCaprio dancing to his personal ear poison of choice, MGMT, on Saturday and he may just be worse at dancing than John Travolta is at pronouncing names.

George Bernard Shaw once said, “Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.” So that explains why Gisele left. And Bar Rafaeli. And Anne V. And that other lady…

Oscar Predictions: ‘American Hustle’ Will Probably Win Best Picture, But Like Jon Snow, I Know Nothing

jennifer lawrence thank god for me kitchen fire american hustle gif
The Oscar nominations list has been released and the important categories (best picture, actor, actress etc.) include a whole lot of the same non-crap we saw at the Globes, and I have a lot of questions.

Does Sandra Bullock spinning through fake space in a tank top and booty shorts constitute a nomination or is she just too beloved by the world Academy to ever not be honored?

Can Leonardo DiCaprio score his first win for the most picked-apart movie of the year, The Wolf of Wall Street? If Ralph Fiennes couldn’t win for Schindler’s List, then no, he can’t.

Like me, they still see Leo as the baby-faced Romeo who fucked Tilda Swinton on a beach.

I didn’t see Nebraska, Philomena (or “Phil-o-mania,” as DiCaprio called it last Sunday), 12 Years a Slave, Dallas Buyers Club OR Captain Phillips, so I’m rooting for the one I did see and liked. [David O.] Russell’s [AmericanHustle, not because it had an original premise, but because Christian Bale, Jeremy Renner, Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence are golden Gods and Goddesses all worthy of a statue or two.

Continue reading “Oscar Predictions: ‘American Hustle’ Will Probably Win Best Picture, But Like Jon Snow, I Know Nothing”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [5-27-13]

Leo toasting Here’s Leo toasting to the wrinkles you just got from reading this list —-> (BuzzFeed)

Lena Dunham and Taylor Swift are the new Batman and Robin. (Jezebel)

Watch the Blood Ties trailer with Clive Owen and Mila Kunis now. (Movie Citizens)

Adam Levine erases himself in new “Love Somebody” video. (ohmyGAHH!)

14-year-old guitar prodigy is impressively unimpressed with herself. (Grouchy Muffin)

Fast & Furious 6 did really well at the box office, here are some dorky pics of the stars. (Pajiba)

Leonardo DiCaprio Does Jack Nicholson’s Eyebrows

Leonardo DiCaprio Nicholson impressionSorry if the headline deceived you, but Jack Nicholson did not get his brows tweezed by Leonardo DiCaprio. It’s more likely that Leo ripped the hairs and responsible facial muscles out of Jack’s face during some downtime on The Departed.

When asked if he did impersonations on a Japanese talk show, DiCaprio said “Well, I do these Jack Nicholson eyebrows” and proceeded to make the face that scored Nicholson a role in 1989’s Batman.

Earlier in the interview, he said that he only dates women with “great” senses of humor.

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After An Exhausting Run, Leonardo DiCaprio is Taking a ‘Long, Long Break’ From Acting

Leonardo DiCaprio Django Unchained eventAfter working back-to-back with Tarantino, Luhrmann and Scorsese on Django Unchained, The Great Gatsby and The Wolf On Wall Street, Leonardo DiCaprio will be putting some space between him and his craft.

“I am a bit exhausted. I’m now going to take a long, long break. I shot three films in two years and I’m just worn out,” DiCaprio told the German tabloid magazine Bild.

Leo, who said that he was “almost sick” when he read his character’s lines in the Django Unchained script, clarified that he would not be in hiding for his “break,” which will involve him improving the world and doing good for the environment.  Continue reading “After An Exhausting Run, Leonardo DiCaprio is Taking a ‘Long, Long Break’ From Acting”

Who Makes A Better Gatsby? (The Answer Is Always Robert Redford)

2012 sees film’s third attempt to capture F. Scott Fitzgerald’s classic book The Great Gatsby in motion, though if you ask me, anything’s better than that god awful book.

The first was 1974’s Gatsby starring Robert Redford and Mia Farrow with a screenplay by Francis Ford Coppola, then 2000 saw the release of a TV movie with Mira Sorvino, Toby Stephens and Paul Rudd.

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The Titanic Movie I Want To See In Theaters

It was so obvious that Leonardo DiCaprio’s character in Titanic was going to die (the lonely granny may have been a clue) but full-grown and teenage women worldwide cried anyway when he froze to death.

It’s because Rose was too big (Kate Winslet: “You know, he’s fatter now – I’m thinner”) to share the wood debris.

Honestly, I don’t believe that, I just don’t understand why she couldn’t have gotten on a lifeboat. Jack would have been floating around on a crate in the Atlantic, alive. Love make you STUPID.  Continue reading “The Titanic Movie I Want To See In Theaters”

Kate Winslet Cleverly Skewers All Things Titanic

Kate Winslet is seems a little sick of Titanic. Even though her and Leonardo DiCaprio have had expansive careers after their roles in James Cameron’s big-budget romp, they cannot seem to avoid being associated with it by a few nostalgic fans.

People have even urged her to sing the theme song that plays tragically during the end credits and “went on” to become a #1 hit and bestselling song of 1998. “Every time I go into a bar in a hotel where there is a live pianist or a restaurant where they are changing their music according to who walks in the door apparently,” she told MTV News“it’s thrilling for people to surprise me with the Celine Dion song.”  Continue reading “Kate Winslet Cleverly Skewers All Things Titanic”

Clint Eastwood “Doesn’t Give A Fuck” About Opposing Gay Marriage

To be clear, Clint Eastwood supports the gays!

Leonardo DiCaprio and Eastwood are featured in the October issue of GQ, that hits newsstands September 20th.

Clint is the director of the Hoover biopic J. Edgar, which stars DiCaprio and Naomi Watts.

He describes his feelings about gay marriages in the interview proclaiming,

“I don’t give a fuck about who wants to get married to anybody else! Why not!? We’re making a big deal out of things we shouldn’t be making a big deal about of. Just give everybody the chance to have the life they want…”

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