Blue Ivy and Jay-Z Can’t Keep Beyonce Away From The Thong Drawer

Beyonce gq cover 2013Beyonce seems to have found the get-up she’s wearing on the cover of GQ’s February 2013 issue while rummaging through old boxes of Destiny’s Child props. It’s nice to see her back, doing her thing (making everyone look bad).

Mrs. Z, who gave birth to that talking vine from The Ruins exactly a year ago, is representing “The 100 Sexiest Women of the Century” in a leopard print thong, gold chain and cropped bottom-boob exposing vintage football shirt.

I really hope they let her throw out the first pass of the game for Aaron Rodgers or Russell Wilson. Or run the ball back, or kick a field goal in six-inch heels (if you can dance in them, you can kick in them).

Keep your eyes peeled for “hotter” pictures of Beyonce next Tuesday, the day GQ releases the full interview and interior photo spread shot by Terry “Wear My Glasses” Richardson.  Continue reading “Blue Ivy and Jay-Z Can’t Keep Beyonce Away From The Thong Drawer”

Snooki Got a Tattoo of a Flying, Crown-Wearing Leopard

Snooki leopard tattoo Snooki got a sixth ink blotch last week in L.A. at The Marlett Tattoo Parlor after taping the last ever Jersey Shore reunion.

On her blog, she says that no one but Jionni had previously seen the “fierce” tattoo, which represents her being an independent woman who loves leopard prints.

“The crown represents being a queen and being fabulous, and the wings represent everyone who has passed in my family. Anytime I can incorporate my loved ones who have passed, I do it!” 

Alright, alright Snooki, try not to be too excited. There’s a social barometer I think that says you can’t use exclamation points when talking about dead people.

Question… isn’t a flying leopard basically just the Wal-Mart/Claire’s Accessories version of a Griffin?

Every Halloween Costume Kim Kardashian Ever Wore [PHOTOS]

Wonder Woman (2008), a flapper, and her most famous costume, Aladdin’s Jasmine (both in 2009)

Kim Kardashian recently tweeted a photo of her in a leopard costume with a mesh front and wrote, “Rawwwr!!! Halloween Costume shopping.” She actually wore that exact same thing in 2010 so who knows if she dug it out of her closet or simply forgot.

Sometimes I wonder if having an ass that big is a kind of disability, not only for balance but because it’s possible that the blood flow is concentrated in that area like a boner. If she uses more than two brain cells the glorious thing might deflate.  Continue reading “Every Halloween Costume Kim Kardashian Ever Wore [PHOTOS]”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [8-31-12]

When people dye their hair brown, it means they’re crazy. See Lady Gaga. (Celebuzz)

Bearded Portland men cross bridge with guns and camo in the name of breasts. (KATU)

Stupid people make beautiful babies. See Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon. (Tale Tela)

Tori Spelling had a fourth child with Dean no-relation-to-Dylan McDermott. (People)

Actors/actresses: DON’T WORK WITH TERRENCE MALICK. He’ll cut you. (Yahoo!)

Sage Stallone died of a heart attack, not illegal substances or pills. (TMZ)

The Possession‘s Jeffrey Dean Morgan doesn’t want that haunted box anywhere near him. (io9)

Britney Spears berates and seduces X Factor contestants in new promo. (EW)

This is what Michelle Obama looks like in a nude, neoclassical painting. (Gawker)

Ryan Lochte‘s VERY ALLEGED penis pic is still unavailable. (Deadspin)