Tiger Woods Acts a Fool, Turns Into Cross-Eyed Mongoloid With a Wine Cooler Addiction

Tiger Woods drunk faceProfessional ball-slapper Tiger Woods showed the world his drunk face during a Met Gala after-party at the Standard Hotel in New York.

Girlfriend/pro slope hitter Lindsey Vonn looked both amused and embarrassed as she led his wobbly baby deer legs and bouncing pinball eyes through the crowds of press and fellow celebs.

The succession of photos tell a story. First, he realizes he’s lost control of the muscles in his face and body and his last drunken resort is to not change his expression. Eyes and mouth open. Show some teeth. Maybe they won’t notice…

Then he gives up. Everyone knows he’s wasted. The bloodshot eyes and wax figure pose did more than hint at that. They’re onto me. JESUS Lindsey, get me home before Elin sees. 

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Tiger Woods’ 5-Iron Officially Entangled in Lindsey Vonn’s Poles

Tiger Woods Lindsey Vonn facebook Sexting and golf champ Tiger Woods and injury-prone skier Lindsey Vonn confirmed the worst-kept secret that is their relationship by posting joint his and her statements along with a series of cheesy looking-off-into-the-distance photos on best-platform-for-secret-shattering Facebook.

Both made sure to mention that their friendship blossomed into a sporty romance in recent months, possibly because she was still technically married to Thomas Vonn up until January 9.

The couple also clarified that no one is frickin’ allowed to ask them about the intimate details. 

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Skiier Lindsey Vonn Taken Down By Brutal Knee Injury, Airlifted To Hospital

Lindsey Vonn airliftedDecorated American ski champion Lindsey Vonn‘s chances of competing in the near future were frighteningly halted yesterday when she was airlifted to the hospital following a nasty tumble down a mountain at the Alpine world championships in Austria.

The United States team medical director informed news outlets that she had torn two ligaments in her knee and requires reconstructive surgery that will keep her out for the remainder of the season.

It is unlikely that the injury will keep her away from the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia.

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