11 Awesome Stalker Songs

Everybody has had a stalker or has been one, at some point, and everybody loves songs about stalkers. It’s almost, romanticized, in society, and songs only help perpetuate that. This is the only reasoning I need for the following list…

1. Blondie – “One Way Or Another.” Ever sung this song in Rock Band or if you’re braver, during actual bar karaoke? Then you’ve probably come to the striking realization that this is one of the truest and most obvious cases of a fatal attraction. Thankfully there’s no mention of bunny rabbits here, just Deborah Harry screaming in her throaty witch voice that she’ll drive past your house, follow your bus and “getcha.”

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And The 2011 American Music Award Nominees Are…

The 39th annual American Music Award nominees were announced yesterday with Pitbull and Katy Perry slated to perform.

Adele leads in nominations with four and Lady Gaga, Lil’ Wayne, The Band Perry, Katy Perry, Rihanna and Taylor Swift all earning three…

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Naked Tire-Swinging, Lawn-Watering ESPN Athletes

The annual 2011 ‘Body Issue’ of ESPN Magazine has been released! Well the photos have anyway and I have to warn you, they are pretty amazing for all the wrong reasons.

ESPN would like to tell you that it’s all about athleticism, muscles, stature and prowess – but it isn’t, it’s about sex. Strange sexuality, well some of it, like soccer goalie Hope Solo (currently on DWTS) watering the lawn with no clothes on…

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2011 Emmy Winners List (Modern Family + More)

This year at the Emmys, which, like I predicted, were boring and not worth watching more than 20 minutes of, Modern Family and Downton Abbey (whatever that is) won most of the awards.

Modern family took home a whopping five awards, including outstanding comedy series and outstanding supporting actor AND actress in a comedy.

PBS’s Downton Abbey miniseries took four awards for outstanding writing, supporting actress and directing in a miniseries or movie…

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10 Bands That Suck Live

1. Fall Out Boy. ANY performance on Youtube of these now-defunct emo-pop rockers will prove to you that Patrick Stump and Pete Wentz should be called fall-apart-live-boy. It’s an open-ended nightmare of out-of-breath singing accompanied by mediocre guitar playing, out of sync bass and incomprehensibly bad drumming. I’ve literally seen little girls beating on buckets with spoons that sound better.

2. The Black Eyed Peas. Besides the fact that none of the four members do anything on stage except jump into the air and slap their hands together like those cymbal-banging monkey toys, Fergie’s range is horribly halted. Just check out their Superbowl performance. It’s a tragedy.

3. Ke$ha. It was proven to me finally on SNL that Ke$ha is mind-blowingly embaressing on stage. She lacks all of the charisma you experience when listening to her on CD, the robotic voice, the energy, it’s all gone in concert. All you’re left with is a blonde lion standing on stage in a spandex bodysuit that glows in the dark. Throw in some strobe lights for bad measure. It’s still not worth $60 dollars.

4. Blondie. The fact that some of the most memorable, most sampled songs belong to this iconic 80’s band doesn’t negate the fact that Deborah Harry cannot sing live, or that the band sounds looser than Octomom’s vagina. The songs “Call Me,” “One Way Or Another” and “Heart Of Glass” all play out like some above average cover band that you could see for free in a summer concert series in your local park (This is what happens when you sleep with your entire band, Debbie, no one can focus).

5. No Doubt. I love No Doubt and Gwen Stefani as much as the next person. The band is talented and so is Gwen but her live singing is really bubbly and awkward at times. She changes the whole original flow of the songs by “rapping” certain parts. In the end No Doubt disappoints in concert because you just expect so much more. Gwen needs to stop doing push-ups and focus on vocalizing.

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GQ’s Men Of The Year


Yesterday marked the annual Men Of The Year ceremony where GQ Magazine unveiled their (mostly) testosterone-driven covers for October.

I have no clue why they choose to announce one woman of the year?  Why pick the aging Dutch model Lara Stone? (And by aging I mean she’s older than me, which is older than the pyramids in that industry)…

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The 15 Biggest Songs Of Summer 2011

1. Adele – “Rolling In The Deep.” Adele is the standing ovation artist of 2010 and 2011. Her songwriting and vocal abilities not to mention the message of her songs propelled her further and further into fame after her sophomoric album 21 was released.

“Rolling In The Deep” was her first single to hit number one in the states AND beat out every other song of 2011 as the longest-running chart topper. It may not be the “happiest” song of summer, but it is the most memorable of the entire year. Adele revived white lady soul and after Amy Winehouse’s passing she is one of the only ones we have to turn to.

2. Katy Perry “Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)” Is this song avoidable? No. Do you hate it? Yes. Do you love it? Yes… Katy Perry’s “Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)” is what happens when you pair up the man who wrote Britney Spears’ “Baby One More Time” with the man who co-wrote Perry’s “I Kissed A Girl” and Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok.” Holy crap, this song is like the disclaimer below the definition of pop music. (Am I the only one who thought the beloved empress of cleavage was simply craving some late night T.G.I. Fridays?) Enlisting Rebecca Black, Kevin McHale, Debbie Gibson, Hanson and Corey Feldman for the video didn’t hurt either.

3. Britney Spears “I Wanna Go.” Femme Fatale is scientific proof that Britney Spears knows how to survive in the ever-changing music industry. Or, her people know how to survive in the industry, the people she hires/approves. Good enough. “I Wanna Go” is the third single off Femme Fatale, Britney’s seventh full-length album, and believe it or not, this single caused her CD to be the first in her discography to have three top ten singles. I never thought I’d say it, but bring on the heavy basslines, vocoders and techno-influence.

4. LMFAO – “Party Rock Anthem” Feat. Lauren Bennett and GoonRock. Those guys that you heard in the intro to the Kardashian spinoff series Kourtney And Khloe Take Miami – they’re the ones who sing “Party Rock Anthem.” Bet you never thought they’d make it, with their spandex, kitchy sunglasses, overwhelming use of gold and leopard-print sasquatch body hair. But they did, and “Party Rock Anthem” is as big as it gets. Typical paint-by-numbers club song.

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Natalia Kills On Tour With The Sounds!

 Oh My god! My new favorite pop artist and my old favorite electronic rock band, on a North American tour? Together?

Here are the tour dates:

10/12 Ft. Laurderdale, Fl Culture Room
10/13 Orlando, FL Firestone Live
10/14 Pensacola, FL Deluna Festival
10/16 Anaheim, CA House Of Blues
10/18 Salt Lake City, UT In The Venue
10/19 Denver, CO Gothic Theatre
10/21 Minneapolis, MN Fine Line Music Cafe
10/22 Chicago, IL Vic Theatre Continue reading “Natalia Kills On Tour With The Sounds!”

Dancing With The “Stars” 2011 Cast

Today the supposed cast of ABC’s Dancing With The Stars was leaked to the public. I don’t watch the show, because the dancing isn’t quite bad enough (or good enough) to hold my attention.

I’d rather just see a bunch of youths doing backflips on America’s Best Dance Crew, because if I watch Dancing With The Stars I will be reminded of age, and nationwide embarrassment.

Light drumroll… the season 13 cast consists of:

Nancy Grace (Ohh I forgot to put HER on my witches slideshow!)
Ricki Lake (Y
ou was hot when? Ricki Lake. ((Nicki Minaj lyrics)
Ron Artest
(Nickname “Metta World Peace”)
Chaz Bono
(Cher’s son, neck-beard included)
David Arquette
(Screaming like Rocky, “Courtneyyy!!” Instead of “Adriann!”)
Kristin Cavalleri
(Her handbag is HUGE)
Rob Kardashian
(Wishes he wasn’t a Kardashian so he could fuck his sisters)
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VMA Nominees/Predictions

This year the VMAs have no host (for the third time) which is a horrible idea, but at least Britney Spears, Adele, and Lady Gaga will be there. (And Kanye West & Jay-Z doing something from Watch The Throne)

Here are my VMA predictions, even though I procrastinated and it’s the actual day of the VMAs. I hope I can guess at least two of the category winners. Oh and I left out the Editing, Direction, Special Effects, Cinematography and Choreography sections, so go look somewhere else for those snooze-inducers…

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30 Witches In Pop Culture

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Like many children, I was terrified of witches from the time I can remember up until, like 8th grade.

It was the trifecta of children’s horror movies that really got me, Snow White, The Wizard Of Oz and it’s cult classic sequel, Return To Oz from 1985.

Sleeping Beauty, The Witches and the original The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe on BBC in 1988 (my mom used to rent it from the library for us) didn’t help much either.

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30 Mermaids In Pop Culture

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 After watching Lady Gaga’s “You & I” video, and remembering the horrible animation sequence from Ke$ha’s “Your Love Is My Drug” in which she turns into the exact thing she smells the most like…

I wanted to make a fairly comprehensive list/slideshow of all the significant mermaids I could think of (and research) in pop culture.

Disney’s The Little Mermaid, sparked a craze in the late 80’s, one that grabbed our attention from then on… Therefore making me want to present you with a shit ton of mermaids, well, 28. Best I can do.

Let me know if I forgot anything. Besides the Cher/Christina Ricci/Winona Ryder movie from 1990 that is sadly not about mermaids, even though it’s amazing. I’m still hoping for mermaids to replace vampires as sexiest and most prevalent mythical creatures of 2011/2012.

[Up where they walk, up where they run…]

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Top 5 Soulful White Ladies

I listen to all sorts of music but still find myself surprised at how soulful certain white women are capable of being. When you’re casually sitting around listening to a song you naturally get a certain vision of someone. Like when I first heard Gin Wigmore, there was that assumption, I just knew she was a black lady, with an amazing voice. Same with Amy Winehouse…

When I first heard “You Know I’m No Good,” a skinny Jewish/British woman with pin-up tattoos and a black beehive hairdo just isn’t what flew into my imagination. With these artists, I’m too busy listening to their voices to really really consider anything, there’s just a fleeting moment when you decide they’re soulful black women serenading you.

Here is a list of the top five most soulful white ladies of fairly recent years…

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40 Tiny Famous People

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I really really like short people. I’m obnoxious, I’d pick ’em all up (Even Tom Cruise) and use baby talk with them. Probably get my teeth knocked out, but it’d be worth it. There it is, 30 short actors, actresses and musicians, aren’t they cute?

ANTM “All-Star” Cast Revealed

Tyra ran out of ideas for America’s Next Top Model, and who can blame her after 16 seasons/cycles of the show. I was kind of hoping she’d do an ANTM with all male models, or bring back Janice Dickinson as a judge but instead she’s decided to compile a group of previous contestants.

She’s chosen 14 “fan favorites” from past cycles and lumped them together to cough get ratings cough cough I mean, compete…

  • Shannon Stewart, 27 (Cycle 1) 2nd place
  • Camille McDonald, 33 (Cycle 2) 5th place
  • Brittany Brower, 29 (Cycle 4) 4th place
  • Lisa D’Amanto, 30 (Cycle 5) 6th place
  • Bre Scullark, 26 (Cycle 5) 3rd place
  • Bianca Golden, 22 (Cycle 9) 4th place
  • Dominique Reighard, 27 (Cycle 10) 4th place
  • Isis King, 25 (Cycle 11) 10th place
  • Sheena Sakai, 24 (Cycle 11) 6th place
  • Allison Harvard, 23 (Cycle 12) 2nd place
  • Laura Kirkpatrick, 22 (Cycle 13)
  • Angelea Preston, 25 (Cycle 14) tied for 3rd/4th place
  • Kayla Ferrel, 20 (Cycle 15) tied for 3rd/4th place
  • Alexandria Everett, 22 (Cycle 16) 4th place

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