In Other News, Guy Gets Paid To Pour Water on Rihanna’s Back

Exclusive - Rihanna Does a Skin Photo Shoot Half Naked in the Hollywood Hills Some people list teacher, policeman, veterinarian or chef as their dream job, others put “dumping water on Rihanna’s backside.” …To each their own.

Let’s list the pros and cons of pouring water on Rihanna.

Pros: It’s easy.

Cons: If Rihanna sees your boner, she’ll probably alert everyone in the vicinity with a loud “EH!” resulting in the loss of your job and you looking on Craigslist for opposing employment that involves intense labor like hauling cement blocks in the pouring rain.

In other other news, totally attractive virgin bobsledder Lolo Jones wrote on Twitter that it’s going to be hard for Drake to “hand out all those awards to Rihanna’s ex boyfriends” at the ESPYs. Ho ho ho I get it and cannot contain my laughter because Rihanna dated one athlete in 2011.  Continue reading “In Other News, Guy Gets Paid To Pour Water on Rihanna’s Back”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [8-8-12]

Lolo Jones almost won a medal on Tuesday, U.S. media still compares her to Kournikova (Yahoo!)

Cops arrest a very naked Randy Travis in Texas (TMZ)

Trailblazer Nicolas Batum banned from Olympics after punching a guy in the nuts (NBC)

Bob Hoskins diagnosed with parkinson’s, retires from acting (L.A. Times)

First female NFL ref will debut at Packers game (Huffington Post)

Jennie Garth didn’t need to lose weight, but she did anyway (Us Magazine)

Macy’s Music Festival attendee greeted with racist message in hotel room (eurthisnthat)

Obama wants to take away your pizza (Global Grind)

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher hold hands and sing kumbaya on a tropical island (Evil Beet)

Indian man padlocked his wife’s vagina (Hurriyet Daily News)

Hillary Clinton does the Elaine (NY Daily News)

Olympic Athlete Lolo Jones Is The 29 Year-Old Virgin

Lori “Lolo” Jones is a hot topic right now, partly due to her interview with Mary Carillo on HBO’s Real Sports revealing that she’s a 29 year-old virgin who is only willing to have sex to her future husband.

Jones (a star runner/hurdler who competed at the 2008 Beijing Olympics and will be present in London’s summer games) actually let her followers on Twitter, a platform she utilizes when looking for dates, in on this story earlier in the year.

She has also managed to keep her sense of humor throughout the publicity tsunami, sticking to her beliefs but cracking jokes wherever there’s an opportunity.

Continue reading “Olympic Athlete Lolo Jones Is The 29 Year-Old Virgin”