Alcohol Made a 42-Year-Old Titans Cheerleader Confuse a 12-Year-Old Boy With a Full-Grown Man

Elizabeth Leigh Garner mugshot If you still believe in beer goggles – the effect of alcohol making people more attractive – then do you also believe booze could transform a child into a man right before your eyes? I say, yes to beer goggles, NO to the pedophile-friendly excuse.

In light of recent cases involving male rapists in India, Ohio, and Connecticut and here to remind us that women be also be creepy, predatory bastards, cheerleader Elizabeth Leigh Garner is being charged with sexual battery and solicitation of a minor for rape of a child after offering to perform oral sex on a 12-year-old boy at his home in Murfreesboro.

42-year-old Garner, who cheered for the Tennessee Titans until 2009, told a detective that she “got the boy confused with a man who also at the residence” because she was intoxicated.  Continue reading “Alcohol Made a 42-Year-Old Titans Cheerleader Confuse a 12-Year-Old Boy With a Full-Grown Man”

I’ll Take My Sunblock Without The Side Of HELLFIRE Please

Queue the ‘banana don’t” jokes – a man in Massachusetts was severely burned while attending to his barbecue briquettes after applying spray-on Banana Boat sunscreen.

Seconds after the man (Brett Sigworth) rubbed it on his body, the flames went up his arm, back and neck. “I went into complete panic mode and screamed,” he told CBS Boston. “I’ve never experienced pain like that in my life.”

Sigworth is not suing the company, only wishing that they’d put clearer labels on their product which says “flammable, don’t use near heat, flame or while burning.”  Continue reading “I’ll Take My Sunblock Without The Side Of HELLFIRE Please”

Is Brittney Griner A Juwanna Mann, Or Am I Just An Asshole?

I’m not trying to incite a riot or sound like a finger-pointing antichrist but I think one of the players currently competing in the NCAA women’s basketball semi-finals is a man.

It’s just hard to get it out of my head. Like whenever I hear Mary Carillo doing tennis commentary on ESPN. I think she has the tendency to sound like she swallowed testosterone patties. Erm, anyway…

Brittney Griner is one of the few female basketball players who frequently dunks. She plays for the Baylor Bears in Texas and is exactly 6’8.” She also wears a men’s size 18 shoe, has nine-inch hands and a wingspan of over 7 feet.  Continue reading “Is Brittney Griner A Juwanna Mann, Or Am I Just An Asshole?”

Jennifer Lopez’s Y Chromosome Stunt Double

Women using a male stunt doubles isn’t as uncommon as you think. There simply aren’t enough girls in the business of flinging their bodies into blocks and out of buildings.

If you ever saw the excellent documentary Double Dare which chronicled the daily lives of stuntwomen Zoe Bell (Xena, Death Proof) and Jeannie Epper (Wonder Woman) you’d know that they are out there.

Still, Angelina Jolie had a male double in Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle Of Life during the wingsuit scene and now Jennifer Lopez is utilizing one in her latest music video, “Follow The Leader” which is directed by her boyfriend, Casper Smart.  Continue reading “Jennifer Lopez’s Y Chromosome Stunt Double”

Worst Dressed Man Of 2011, Jared Leto Or Chris Brown?

 Thank you GQ UK! They say Chris Brown is the worst dressed man child in the whole world and I couldn’t agree more. For best dressed they list Tinie Tempah and a bunch of people I’ve heard of even less, besides Robert Pattinson.

It brings me great pleasure to present you with these lovely examples of Chris’s prowess as a style icon for people who shop exclusively at Foot Locker, Zumiez and the Liberace thrift store.  Continue reading “Worst Dressed Man Of 2011, Jared Leto Or Chris Brown?”

Man Breaks Into Daycare, Puts On Pink Child-Sized Bikini

A man in Indiana broke into the Kidscape Learning Center just after 10 p.m. on October 20th, where he was seen via surveillance camera, trying on children’s swimsuits.

He found one that he preferred (a pink two piece) and walked around the daycare center for about 10 minutes until he apparently got bored, jumped over a counter, set off the motion detector, changed out of the swimsuit and left.

Continue reading “Man Breaks Into Daycare, Puts On Pink Child-Sized Bikini”

21 Year-Old Spends Nine Hours Stuck In Child’s Park Swing

After (sort of) winning a $100 bet that he could fit inside a baby/toddler swing in Blue Rock Springs Park in California, a 21 year-old man (boy) found that he could not get out of the device.

His “friends” abandoned him in the play area in Vallejo after he lubed up the swing with some laundry detergent (I bet they didn’t have that on them to start with) and was trapped there for a total of nine hours.

Continue reading “21 Year-Old Spends Nine Hours Stuck In Child’s Park Swing”

Lady Gaga’s Big Manly VMA Surprise

Well, we’ve been hearing for a week now that we were going to see something from Lady Gaga that we’ve “never seen before” at the VMAs. My thought was, well, of course we’re going to see something we’ve never seen before. It’s the first 2011 VMAs ever, that’s different right there.

So her big surprise is – she came out on stage at  the beginning of the show dressed as her male alter ego Jo Calderone and sang her piano ballad “You & I.” Brian May from Queen even came out to play guitar for her.

Basically she just talked WAY too much, blew puffs of smoke and looked exactly like the girl who dresses up in drag in 1985’s Just One Of The Guys and also the desperate girl gang member in Westside Story.

Oh, also, Justin Bieber made a face like someone had just skinned his mom. Poor kid, terrorized by Al Pacino with a vagina on the day of the VMAs!

Lady Gaga Really is A Man (For Her “You & I” Single)

Apparently I’m out of the loop. Lady Gaga has had a male alter-ego since September of last year, whom she calls “Jo Calderone.” Hmmm, Jo looks a lot like Al Pacino.

Lady Balls Balls tweeted the cover art for the “You & I” single cover art featuring the pop star in a very convincing drag getup. I saw it the other day briefly and wondered if it was Gaga’s new boyfriend or some artistic male inspiration of hers. Who knew.

It was revealed that the video for “You & I” will be released as Lady Gaga’s 1000th tweet, and she’s currently on 992, so it seems like that will probably be in a few weeks, who knows how long or short she wants to play that game for.

Continue reading “Lady Gaga Really is A Man (For Her “You & I” Single)”