Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [12-17-12]

Bushmaster adBushmaster rifles still running embarrassing ad campaign about manly men. (Gawker)

Everybody Hates Chris-style sitcom about/produced by Justin Bieber coming to ABC. (NME)

Nick Cannon dumped Kim Kardashian for lying about her sex tape. (Evil Beet)

No fatalities in San Antonio theater shooting yesterday. (Huffington Post)

Darren Criss shows his gleeful candy canes for Men of McKinley calendar. (Celebuzz)

Great day for Star Trek fans: new trailer AND the leaked first ten minutes. (Wired/Gizmodo)

Brooke Mueller cured of Adderall addiction after six days of outpatient treatment. (TMZ)

Is Brittney Griner A Juwanna Mann, Or Am I Just An Asshole?

I’m not trying to incite a riot or sound like a finger-pointing antichrist but I think one of the players currently competing in the NCAA women’s basketball semi-finals is a man.

It’s just hard to get it out of my head. Like whenever I hear Mary Carillo doing tennis commentary on ESPN. I think she has the tendency to sound like she swallowed testosterone patties. Erm, anyway…

Brittney Griner is one of the few female basketball players who frequently dunks. She plays for the Baylor Bears in Texas and is exactly 6’8.” She also wears a men’s size 18 shoe, has nine-inch hands and a wingspan of over 7 feet.  Continue reading “Is Brittney Griner A Juwanna Mann, Or Am I Just An Asshole?”

Lady Gaga’s Big Manly VMA Surprise

Well, we’ve been hearing for a week now that we were going to see something from Lady Gaga that we’ve “never seen before” at the VMAs. My thought was, well, of course we’re going to see something we’ve never seen before. It’s the first 2011 VMAs ever, that’s different right there.

So her big surprise is – she came out on stage at  the beginning of the show dressed as her male alter ego Jo Calderone and sang her piano ballad “You & I.” Brian May from Queen even came out to play guitar for her.

Basically she just talked WAY too much, blew puffs of smoke and looked exactly like the girl who dresses up in drag in 1985’s Just One Of The Guys and also the desperate girl gang member in Westside Story.

Oh, also, Justin Bieber made a face like someone had just skinned his mom. Poor kid, terrorized by Al Pacino with a vagina on the day of the VMAs!