Trailer: Transformers: Age of Extinction

Oh. My. God. They made another Transformers movie and it’s full of robot dinosaurs, Mark Wahlberg running, and the yellow-haired chick Norman stalks on Bates Motel.

Like Megan Fox before her, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley has been phased out of Transformers: Age of Extinction in favor of Nicola Peltz, best known as Katara from The Last Airbender and Bradley Martin in BM.

I’m sure if one of these actresses would just give Michael Bay a pity handjob they’d keep that role…

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [10-12-12]

The Situation channels Mark Wahlberg in new PETA ad. (Gawker)

Watch the Hitchcock trailer now for sexy bald Hannibal as Alfred. (ohmyGAHH!)

Michael Vick‘s dog is “well cared for and loved.” (TMZ)

Instructor at Zumba ran a prostitution ring out of her studio. (CBS)

Shailene Woodley (The Descendants) as the new Mary Jane in the next Spider-Man? (G4)

“My mom does not do cocaine,” says liar liar Lindsay Lohan on fire. (Daily Mail)

Kobe Bryant says ex-teammate Smush Parker was “the worst” point guard ever. (Yahoo!)

If you’ve never seen Bar Refaeli in a bikini, here’s your chance. (Celebuzz)

Justin Bieber Is Obsessed With The Movie ‘Fear’

You know that movie from 1996 where Sarah McLachlan cuts off Mark Wahlberg’s head and shoves it through a doggy-door after he harms an innocent German Shepard? Fear. That’s the one.

Alright, that’s not exactly what happened but I really hate reminiscing about movies with notorious animal-torture scenes so I just replace those memories with images of Canada’s melodic sweetheart and supporter of the ASPCA kicking human ass and taking names.

Preferably with a machete. Or a plate of poutine balanced on a machete tied to a hockey stick with a handle wrapped in discarded liner notes from Surfacing.

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Mark Wahlberg Could’ve Stopped Those Pesky Terrorists

Marky “Good Vibrations” Mark told Men’s Journal that he could’ve prevented United Airlines Flight 93 from crashing into the World Trade Center by kicking some terrorist ass like in one of his movies.

“If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did, there would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.'”

Then he talked about jerking off, hating Sarah Jessica Parker movies and crying during The Help, but not at the same time.

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Mark & Donnie Wahlberg’s “Wahlburgers” Restaurant

Mark, Donnie and Paul (the unknown chef brother) Wahlberg are opening a burger restaurant in Boston. The brothers already operate the well-known Italian restaurant Alma Nove, and have plans to also start their own pizzeria next Spring.

Wahlburgers will open across from Alma Nove, at Hingham Shipyard in Boston Massachusetts and will include outdoor and indoor seating that can accommodate around 120 guests.

I wonder if the burgers will be named after Mark Wahlberg movies? Or  Marky Mark songs, or New Kids On The Block songs! Oh my god…

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