Canadian Mayor Says He Has ‘More Than Enough’ P*ssy to Eat at Home

Rob Ford mayor wifeMarried trainwreck mayor of Toronto Rob Ford stood in front of a room full of press yesterday to deny a whole mess of things, including telling one of his staff members that he wanted to eat her out.

Ford, a notorious partier and admitted crack user said, “I’m happily married. I’ve got more than enough to eat at home. Thank you very much.”

This kind of thing would never fly in America, but if I had to compare his attitude to two people I’d go with Rex Ryan and Vladimir Putin. Amount of f*cks given: 0.0.

Anthony Weiner Not Finished, More News to Come

Anthony Weiner memeIn today’s TMI news, we’ve learned more and more about Anthony Weiner than we ever wanted to. As if numerous dick pics weren’t enough, the woman involved with Weiner has claimed the politician is terrible at phone sex, and that she never had the chance to get off because Weiner would typically ejaculate after about 30 seconds.

Seriously dude, are you thirteen years old? Are you that horny? How have you not learned that phone sex is a beautiful thing that should be savored and last more than the length of a TV commercial?

The woman believed that she and Weiner were in love (LOL), but would often feel used after their phone sessions because she didn’t feel like she was getting any attention. I swear, politicians these days are such dicks.

Weiner has some long, hard days ahead – the hopeful mayor of New York City is in the midst of his second sex scandal, but he’s showing no signs of pulling out of the race.

Continue reading “Anthony Weiner Not Finished, More News to Come”

‘Sex and the City’ Creator Knows Her Characters Should Never Have Ridden Camels in Abu Dhabi

Sarah Jessica Parker camelSex and the City author Candace Bushnell threw a little shade at a part of her own franchise and its now-replaced star Sarah Jessica Parker, after Parker called The Carrie Diaries “odd” in an interview.

Bushnell, a producer on the CW’s teen-friendly prequel, had this to say about Parker and her run on SATC:

Look, Sarah Jessica Parker is 47 … Realistically, a middle-aged woman who was married without children would be much more focused on her career and less focused on this Mr. Big: ‘Does he love me?’ … ‘Does he still not love me?’ I mean, I think it was coming to the end of what they could do with the character.”  Continue reading “‘Sex and the City’ Creator Knows Her Characters Should Never Have Ridden Camels in Abu Dhabi”

Newark Mayor Cory Booker Stopped Hating Gays in 1992 (Naturally, Everyone Now Thinks He’s Gay)

Cory Booker gayAn opinion piece from the Stanford Daily’s archives reveals that Newark, New Jersey mayor and potential senator Cory Booker’s gay college counselor cured his homophobia.

In 1992, Booker wrote that he was “disgusted by gays” until a Stanford therapist shared his life story and the stories of the physical attacks and verbal condemnations of others like him.

It was chilling to find that so much of the testimony he shared with me was almost identical to stories my grandparents told me about growing up Black.

And here’s the part that made everyone wonder if Cory Booker is gay himself…  Continue reading “Newark Mayor Cory Booker Stopped Hating Gays in 1992 (Naturally, Everyone Now Thinks He’s Gay)”

In Five Years, Kim Kardashian Could Be Mayor

Kim Kardashian really is considering running for mayor of Glendale, California in 2017. This is not a fake story, I didn’t get this from The Onion though I know some of you might see E! News in a less credible light.

In a clip for her sister’s show Khloe & Lamar, Kim can be heard saying “I’ve decided I’m going to run for the mayor of Glendale…you have to have full residency…It’s going to be in, like, five years.”

Kim, who has so far not fulfilled her destiny of birthing at least five children does not have a home in the area though she does plan on buying one soon. Perhaps her destiny is to be mayor for a year THEN log-ride baby shooting time. With Kris as midwife.

No hospital, just a swimming pool somewhere in Calabasas full of placenta and feces.

Continue reading “In Five Years, Kim Kardashian Could Be Mayor”