Megan Fox Cares Too Much About Her Children to Make More Than 1 Movie a Year

Megan fox sons ellenMegan Fox is not as shallow as you may have once thought and cares much more about her two sons than her fans. During a chat with Parents magazine, Fox explained that due to an intense case of “mommy guilt,” her heart is no longer in bending over cars, puking black slime or having her boobs jiggled by Leslie Mann.

Really her only motivation to act is to pump up Bodhi and Noah’s college fund…

“I have to make one movie a year because I have to invest in their future and I have to be able to pay their way through college and be able to provide for them,” she said. “I’m looking for movies that will shoot in Los Angeles, for projects where I’m part of an ensemble so I can shoot in and out in 10-20 days. It’s all about trying to spend as little time away from my kids as possible.”

Any time she does crawl out of the baby rearin’ ether and into the spotlight, it’s to talk about babies. Ugh. Note the high-pitched squeal as she points at photosContinue reading “Megan Fox Cares Too Much About Her Children to Make More Than 1 Movie a Year”

New Derpy Ninja Turtles Would Definitely Have Been Bullied in High School

new Donatello Anyone who grew up with the original Ninja Turtles remembers how “cool” they were. They somehow managed to be super relatable despite being of the reptile persuasion, which was part of the allure along with how well the turtles were marketed to my generation.

I would have traded my soul and the souls of my family for a bucket of those action figures.

A bunch of young, fun-loving superheroes with a rat mentor and human love interest? Their species didn’t matter. In their heyday, they could have been the Teenage Mutant Ninja Alligators or Dogs, but now my memories are being desecrated by CGI monstrosities who look too stupid to not be extinct. In the new Ninja Turtle movie, Donatello is a derpy frog professor with progeria and Michelangelo wears puka shells.

Even after being handed a few million dollars to pretend like this is all okay, Megan Fox is like:
Megan fox april sees turtles for first time I can’t blame that guy who’s pretending to direct when we all know these warped clichés and awkward special effects reak of Michael Bay. The new teenage turtles are so much more mutant than ninja, “the smart one” has to have buckteeth and tape on his glasses and “the cool one” smells of such desperation, you wouldn’t even hang out with him if he handed you a bag of weed and the keys to his car.  Continue reading “New Derpy Ninja Turtles Would Definitely Have Been Bullied in High School”

The New Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are Stupidly Gigantic

new Ninja turtles gigantic CGI
Well, the new Ninja Turtles movie looks even worse than I thought it would, which is pretty f*cking bad. If only the first trailer was a parody “what if Michael Bay used his trademark, horrible CGI to make the turtles like medium-sized Transformers, completely changed their origin story, and cast a brunette to play April?”

I mean… You seriously couldn’t bother to dye Megan Fox‘s hair red? WHAT THE HELL???
new Shredder Ninja Turtles 2014
I want to completely blame Bay, but I’m sure the director, Jonathan Liebesman (Battle: Los Angeles), and writers, André Nemec and Josh Appelbaum (the team responsible for Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol), all contributed to the TMNT sucking king-sized ass.  Continue reading “The New Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are Stupidly Gigantic”

Megan Fox Names Baby ‘Bodhi Ransom’

Megan Fox and sonThis week we learned that super secretive parentals Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green named their second child Bodhi. Bodhi Ransom Green, if we’re being formal. “Bodhi” is a Buddhist word for understanding or enlightenment.

Teresa Palmer (the K-Stewy/Amber Heardlike blonde from Warm Bodies and Take Me Home Tonight) also JUST named her kid Bodhi Rain, so maybe the two babies can fight to the hypothetical death via cut-up hotdog eating or breakdancing contest the way Suri and Shiloh should have.

Perhaps Megan could enlighten us on the secret of being rail thin and making babies that aren’t stillborn?  Continue reading “Megan Fox Names Baby ‘Bodhi Ransom’”

WATCH: Live-Action ‘Call of Duty: Ghosts’ Trailer

Activision continues the big-budget video game trailer craze with Ghosts, developer Infinity Ward’s anticipated return to the Call of Duty franchise since Modern Warfare 3, in 2011.

Titled “Epic Night Out” and set to the tune of Sinatra’s “I’m Gonna Live Till I Die,” the teaser features a brief appearance by Megan Fox, who comes between three soldiers stuck in crossfire at a Las Vegas casino.

Continue reading “WATCH: Live-Action ‘Call of Duty: Ghosts’ Trailer”

Megan Fox Pregnant AGAIN, Taking Another Hiatus From Acting?

Megan Fox April teenage mutant setMegan Fox is pregnant again. Just had her last churren less than a year ago, precisely 10 months and it’s like… why Megan, why!!? Do you want to pop ’em out quick so they can be close-in-age and relate to each other?

Was it kind of an accident like maybe you weren’t trying but you weren’t not trying and David Silver’s sperm is just really potent like fresh French cheese?

It’s fine. I ain’t mad atcha. But maybe next time, after the 12 months pass and the paparazzi are kind of over it and you have some semblance of privacy and the little guy or girl is done gnawing on your tits, you could possibly work on another good comedy like How To Lost Friends and Alienate People, Jennifer’s Body and This is 40, instead of more children? From her rep:

I can confirm Megan is expecting her second child with her husband Brian. They are both very happy.

Continue reading “Megan Fox Pregnant AGAIN, Taking Another Hiatus From Acting?”

Megan Fox Cast in Michael Bay-Produced ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’

Megan Fox AprilMichael Bay’s love for Megan Fox never dies.

Even after she said he had “no social skills at all,” called him a “tyrant” and compared him to both Hitler and Napoleon, he’s approved casting her in a new live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie helmed by Wrath of the Titans director Jonathan Liebesman.

Bay raised a fleshy flag for Megan back when she was dancing under a waterfall for 5 seconds in Bad Boys II.

When it was reported that she’d been fired from Transformers because of her dictator tirade in Wonderland magazine, he claimed that it was not even his decision.

Continue reading “Megan Fox Cast in Michael Bay-Produced ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’”

Megan Fox Apologizes For Telling The Truth About Lindsay Lohan

Megan Fox Esquire 2013Megan Fox apologized on Facebook for calling her Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen co-star Lindsay Lohan an unreliable actress with a lot of potential.

While explaining in an interview why she had her Marilyn Monroe tattoo lasered off, Fox drew comparisons between her (Marilyn) and Lindsay.

“She wasn’t powerful at the time. She was sort of like Lindsay. She was an actress who wasn’t reliable, who almost wasn’t insurable. She had all the potential in the world, and it was squandered,” she told Esquire.

Fox said on Facebook that she wanted to clarify her comments before “something silly” happened.  Continue reading “Megan Fox Apologizes For Telling The Truth About Lindsay Lohan”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [12-22-12]

Megan fox teeth This is 40Leslie Mann felt protective of Megan Fox and her boobs in This is 40. (Yahoo!/Deadspin)

Ashton Kutcher finally divorced Demi Moore after she failed to pull the trigger. (Celebuzz)

National Enquirer says Daniel Radcliffe fell hard off the wagon. (Evil Beet)

Simon Cowell coughed up $20,000 when Fifth Harmony lost The X Factor. (Inquisitr)

I think Tom Hardy as Mad Max is more, pale Roland from Borderlands. (ohmyGAHH!)

Christopher Lee (Saruman the White) has a Heavy Metal Christmas album. (Spin)

No one out-sings LeAnn Rimes, especially not sober 13-year-old Carly Rose Sonenclar. (TMZ)

Megan Fox Talks Tattoos, Pregnancy and Club Thumbs With Jay Leno

Megan Fox thumbs Jay LenoMegan Fox did her first post-baby television interview last night with Jay Leno, discussing This Is 40, “pregnancy brain” (which made her to lose her phone and forget how to drive), tattoo removal and her infamous cavewoman thumbs.

Morning sickness/vampire baby: I was about two months pregnant. I was really sick. I was very nauseous. I had really bad morning sickness. It was so bad for me. I was convinced that I was, like, maybe birthing a vampire baby like the one in Twilight… you know what happens to Bella, where she’s in cold sweats all the time? I felt like that was happening because I had no vitamins and nutrients and I was just nauseous. Or an alien or something. Something not human.”

Continue reading “Megan Fox Talks Tattoos, Pregnancy and Club Thumbs With Jay Leno”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [12-8-12]

MEgan Fox body This is 40Megan Fox will not be in a bikini as much for movies now that she’s a mom. (Jezebel)

Bros that swim together ______. Owen Wilson and Stephen Dorff date night! (ohmyGAHH!)

Psy used to want to torture Americans with more than just his music. (Gawker)

Who the heck decided that it was okay to remake Jumanji? (Celebuzz)

Elle Fanning is in the new Sigur Rós video and it’s only 12 minutes long. (Stereogum)

That Max dude from The Wanted really is dating tolerating Lindsay Lohan? (ONTD!)

27-year-old mother shot dead by insane off-duty sheriff for shoplifting at Wal-Mart. (Daily Mail)

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [11-08-12]

Acer laptop commercial has Megan Fox saving lobsters and talking to dolphins. (Kotaku)

Nicolas Cage has TWELVE films scheduled for 2013. (Grouchy Muffin)

Brother of Modern Family star says abuse allegations against his mother are bogus. (Us Weekly)

Lamar Odom still thinks he’s a Laker, not a Clipper. (Yahoo!)

Representative Gabrielle Giffords’ shooter gets seven life sentences. (TMZ)

Rihanna’s butt is on display because she wants it to be. (Evil Beet)

Oh nevermind. Miley Cyrus is only having one wedding, not 47. (Celebuzz)

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s new movie trailer for The Last Stand is here. (ohmyGAHH!)

Megan Fox Already Had That Baby, Which, BTW, Has A Future In The CIA

Foxy and Brian Austin G had their baby 20 days ago and are somehow just announcing it now.

Megan Fox wrote on Facebook:

We have been very lucky to have had a peaceful few weeks at home, but I would like to release this myself before others do. I gave birth to our son Noah Shannon Green on September 27th. He is healthy, happy, and perfect.

We are humbled to have the opportunity to call ourselves the parents of this beautiful soul and I am forever grateful to God for allowing me to know this kind of boundless, immaculate love.

Thanks to those of you who wish to send your positive energy and well wishes. May God bless you and your families abundantly.

Continue reading “Megan Fox Already Had That Baby, Which, BTW, Has A Future In The CIA”

Just In Case You Weren’t 100% Sure That Megan Fox Was Carrying David Silver’s Baby…

Several months ago, Brian Austin Green tossed a fastball covered in tadpoles into Jennifer’s Body. After not answering yes or no to curious reporters, Megan Fox‘s status a pregnant woman has been confirmed by visual proof.

She and Green visited Kona, Hawaii for their wedding anniversary and Fox was photographed in a bikini with little David Silver kissing her belly like it held the Khaleesi’s second son.

Speaking of second children, this is the Beverly Hills 90210 star’s second child. His first, 10-year-old Kassius, was conceived with ex-wife Vanessa Marcil.  Continue reading “Just In Case You Weren’t 100% Sure That Megan Fox Was Carrying David Silver’s Baby…”

Megan Fox Ran Out Of Feet To Put In Her Mouth

This isn’t a post about Foxy having a foot fetish or anything, it’s about the very silly things she says in interviews.

Megan recently told Jalouse magazine“I live well with my image. I cannot complain. I would not trade my place with an unattractive girl.”

Shhhh, just shh. Of course you wouldn’t trade places with us dusty street urchins, you’re just not supposed to talk about it. I guess your mother, Anastasia Drizella Fox, never told you.

I hope the baby that you are rumored to be carrying isn’t ugly, and that you are never forced to switch places with it, in some kind of Freaky Friday-for-egomaniacs spinoff.

Oh man, these Jalouse pictures are strange. Maybe Google Translate is just being wonky but I made out something about dueling personalities and the word “dickmatized.” No joke, you try it.  Continue reading “Megan Fox Ran Out Of Feet To Put In Her Mouth”

Chris O’Dowd Defends Megan Fox

Chris O’Dowd (Bridesmaids, Friends With Kids) came to the defense of Megan Fox about three years too late, but A for effort.

In 2009 Fox infamously called Transformers director Michael Bay “awkward,” “Hitler,” “Napoleon” and “a nightmare.”

She was fired, supposedly by Steven Spielberg. Lord knows Michael Bay was too obsessed with her to do it himself.

He is, after all, the one who hand selected Fox for Transformers based on nothing more than her role as an uncredited extra in Bad Boys II.

Anyway, her This Is 40/Friends With Kids co-star told the Toronto Sun that he also hates Michael Bay and would never want to work with him. “I don’t know the ins and outs of it but it’s all down to having a fallout with Michael Bay, but who wouldn’t have a fallout with him?”  Continue reading “Chris O’Dowd Defends Megan Fox”