Dancing Shark is Real Super Bowl Winner

katy perry shark memeEven two years later, nothing beats Beyonce’s unflattering Super Bowl photos, but Katy Perry’s out-of-sync dancing shark, Wiimote and lion are trying their best.

Like the Packers against the Seahawks in the playoffs, Seattle had the game completely in the bag but failed, deciding to pass the ball at the end of the 4th with the end zone just inches from Marshawn Lynch’s face. Tom Brady jumped for joy as Russell Wilson threw the game-losing interception to Malcolm Butler, ending it at 28 to 24.  Continue reading “Dancing Shark is Real Super Bowl Winner”

King Joffrey Actor Jack Gleeson Says Purple Wedding Scene ‘Was Fun’

Joffrey there's no cure for being aLast night’s episode of Game of Thrones, titled “The Lion and The Rose,” featured the long-awaited union between Joffrey Baratheon and the redhead with the good boobs known to fans of the series as the “purple wedding,” and holy crap, I haven’t been this happy since my mom got me a golden retriever puppy in third grade.

For weeks I’d been trying to figure out what the hell a purple wedding even was, and I’m not going to say anything spoiler-y, I’m just going to tell you to watch it. Be one of the million oomanz to illegally download it. Get HBO. Read the book. I don’t care…

On filming the now-famous scene, Jack Gleeson saidIt was fun in the end, but kind of stressful to be so focused, but acting like you’re completely unfocused. Difficult, but exciting.”   Continue reading “King Joffrey Actor Jack Gleeson Says Purple Wedding Scene ‘Was Fun’”

What ‘The Hound’ Looks Like Without a Beard…

The slightly uneventful but still wonderful first episode of the fourth season of Game of Thrones aired last night and the unexpected star and winner of the internet for the week was none other than the king of one-liners, burn victim Sandor “The Hound” Clegane, who is currently on a mission to deliver Arya Stark to her dead mother’s crazy sister for a hefty sum.

The Hound spawned a bunch of memes after he closed the episode by spewing amazingly humorous dialogue about eating chicken right before beating up a roomful of thugs and getting Arya’s sword back (gifted by Jon Snow, nicknamed “Needle,” “Stick them with the pointy end” etc.).  Continue reading “What ‘The Hound’ Looks Like Without a Beard…”

GIF: Britney Spears Bald With The Smurfs

Britney Spears sons smurfs gif
Bald Britney Spears gif she's completely bald
Britney Spears has had, what, two or three shots at “acting” in her career? There’s her movie, Crossroads and the ode to Titanic in the beginning of the “Oops!..I Did It Again” video…

…And then there’s an early episode of Punk’d (which doesn’t count), her British accent in “Scream & Shout” and HER WORK IN THE SMURFS -THEMED clip for “Ooh La La,” where she displays her worst acting yet using her slack-jawed X-Factor judge face as inspiration. (Beside her real-life sons.)  Continue reading “GIF: Britney Spears Bald With The Smurfs”

Celebrities as Normal People, by Planet Hiltron

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Photoshop master Danny Evans has been downgrading celebrities since 2006, giving us an opportunity to do more than just imagine what notable celebrities like Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp and Nicki Minaj would look like as ordinary, working class people.

His most viral piece seems to be bloated Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, but who could forget Ashlee Simpson as a midwestern Nebraskan corn queen, Jennifer Lopez as a social worker who appears to operate out of a barn, or Zooey Deschanel standing alone in a diner after prom?

Continue reading “Celebrities as Normal People, by Planet Hiltron”

Desmond Bryant Enters Top Best Mugshot Lists

Desmond Bryant mugshotRaiders DT Desmond Bryant (not to be confused with Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant) rolled his drunken eyes and stuck out his tongue for a shirtless mugshot at Dade County’s correctional facility Sunday morning.

Bryant was reportedly arrested for causing an inebriated commotion at a neighbor’s home in Miami.

Deadspin has the photo(s) of the NFL star and is holding a photoshop contest. Currently in the unofficial running: him as a seal, him chopped into one of Beyonce’s unflattering Superbowl pics, and him in The Miracle Worker.

Desmond becomes an unrestricted free agent on March 12. It’s really too bad he can’t go play with fellow best/worst mugshot contender Todd Helton.  Continue reading “Desmond Bryant Enters Top Best Mugshot Lists”

LeAnn Rimes, Carly Rose Sonenclar and The Hex Factor

Carly Rose Sonenclar LeAnn RimesOn part one of The X Factor finale last night, the remaining three contestants were joined by their sort-of idols.

Tate Stevens and his dimples got Little Big Town, Simon’s group, Fifth Harmony, were paired with readily available Demi Lovato for “Give Your Heart A Break,” and little Carly Rose Sonenclar was gifted the bag of crazy known as LeAnn Rimes.

About a minute into “How Do I Live,” Carly announced “Ladies and gentleman please welcome the amazing LeAnn Rimes,” which shocked me, mostly because I forgot the song wasn’t by Faith Hill.  Continue reading “LeAnn Rimes, Carly Rose Sonenclar and The Hex Factor”

Disney Just Bought Lucasfilm For $4 Billion, Will Release A New Star Wars Film In 2015

Holy crap. Walt Disney Pictures bought Lucasfilm and the rights to Star Wars for $4.05 billion dollars today. And that’s not all. Disney CEO Bob Iger says new movies are on the way!

“The expectation is we’ll release 2 and 3 [‘Episode 8’ and ‘9’] … probably on a cadence on every other year [after 7 in 2015], and then go from there. … The film is what I’ll call early stage development right now,” Iger said in a conference call.

Here’s the official statement from George Lucas:  Continue reading “Disney Just Bought Lucasfilm For $4 Billion, Will Release A New Star Wars Film In 2015”

Ladies, Adele’s New Baby Is About To Galactically Ruin Your Life

Four months ago, after she was noticeably pregnant in a way that was undeniable to the mighty lord Jesus Christ Xenu Allah Buddha Angelina Jolie Spaghetti Monster, Adele confirmed that she was indeed with child.

Yesterday it was announced that the lady who was once known solely for creating songs for women going through breakups while menstruating into a pint of Cherry Garcia, had created something else…

Yep, 24-year-old Adele and 38-year-old turkey baster Simon Konecki are “ecstatic” over the birth of their baby boy who resides in a lavish ten bedroom home in Sussex with his parents.

Continue reading “Ladies, Adele’s New Baby Is About To Galactically Ruin Your Life”

Tumblr Has A Binder Full Of Jokes About Mitt Romney

A Tumblr, Facebook and Twitter account have already been dedicated to Mitt Romney’s comments during Tuesday night’s debates. Speaking about his difficulties finding qualified female candidates to work for him in Massachusetts, he said:

“I went to a number of women’s groups and said, ‘Can you help us find folks,’ and they brought us whole binders full of women.”

Continue reading “Tumblr Has A Binder Full Of Jokes About Mitt Romney”

Mitt Romney Discusses Important Issues At The Debates, Like Big Bird

The presidential debates kicked off yesterday night and a surprising amount of Democrats (and Republicans of course) agreed that Obama appeared sleepy and disconnected. In the words of Roger Ebert, “Romney won on style and performance, Obama won on facts.”

Romney is quite the misguided charmer. During the most viral/meme friendly moment, he said:

“I’m going to stop the subsidy to PBS, I’m going to stop other things. I like PBS, I love Big Bird. Actually, [I] like you, too. But I’m not going to keep on spending money on things to borrow money from China to pay for.”  Continue reading “Mitt Romney Discusses Important Issues At The Debates, Like Big Bird”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [9-1-12]

Twitter is “Eastwooding” after Clint’s ranty RNC chair speech (Huffington Post)

Colorado shooter James Holmes called hospital just minutes before massacre. (Fox)

Justin Bieber causes paparazzi car crash on Ventura Blvd. (TMZ)

Some assholes stole Grimes’ gear at Manchester venue. (ONTD!)

Kristen Stewart’s parents are getting a divorce. (E! Online)

Twilight star Kellan Lutz dislikes Twilight, prefers Generation Kill. (Ok!)

Joss Whedon says The Avengers is ‘not a great movie’ (NME)

Take notes Rihanna, Chad Johnson‘s wife, Evelyn Lozada, is “afraid.” (ABC)

Some assholes stole Grimes’ gear at a Manchester venue. (ONTD!)

Clint, I Love You, But WTF Are You Talking About?

Clint Eastwood, who announced his support for Mitt Romney August 3, opened for the presidential candidate at the Republican National Convention on Thursday with a rant less easy to understand than stroked-out Gary Busey.

I THINK he was trying to say that Romney will help the economy, and even though Obama’s enthusiasm in 2004 made him cry (“I
haven’t cried that hard since I found out that there are 23 million unemployed people in this country”), he’s sick of the broken promises.

Being the biggest female Clint Eastwood fan in the entire world, I can only hope that he was stumbling over his words (and talking to inanimate objects BESIDES Paul Ryan) to appeal to his audience.  Continue reading “Clint, I Love You, But WTF Are You Talking About?”

Mo Farah Gets His Own Meme, A Running-Themed Tumblr

This has been an exciting Olympics for the internet. First we obsessed over Ryan Lochte’s face and abs, then McKayla Maroney’s “not impressed” face, now it’s “Mo Farah Running Away From Things.”

Farah is the British long-distance runner who won two gold medals on Saturday in the 10,000 meter and 5,000 meter races.

He is also an expecting father of twins who trains in Oregon, famous for a post-win dance called the “Mobot.”

His expression while running is the subject of a new Tumblr by graphic designer Luke “Spee” Harvey that has him being chased by Lion King wildebeests, Teletubbies, dinosaurs and more.  Continue reading “Mo Farah Gets His Own Meme, A Running-Themed Tumblr”

McKayla Maroney Is Not Impressed With You

Scientific American posted an article yesterday called “Why Bronze Medalists Are Happier Than Silver Winners.” As you can imagine, for silver medalists it has a lot to do with coming so close to winning the gold, whereas Bronze medalists are just happy to have placed at all.

See the all-around in gymnastics, where Russians Viktoria Komova and Aliya Mustafina came in second and third.

Mustafina, who is generally called a “diva” by everyone including Bob Costas, held her bronze proudly, smiling and waving while her teammate Komova unsuccessfully tried to hold back the tears.

Another case is McKayla Maroney, a strong favorite to win vault who lost to Romania’s Sandra Izbașa and made a very memorable face during her medal ceremony…

Continue reading “McKayla Maroney Is Not Impressed With You”

Mars Landing Control’s ‘Mohawk Guy’ Is An Internet Sensation

So NASA landed a motorized vehicle on mars, but all we can talk about is the guy with the mohawk in the control room? Seems legit.

All I saw when I tuned into the free streaming simulcast of the rover’s landing was a bunch of nerds high fiving each other and a really grainy picture of some gravel from my driveway.

I guess it’s understandable that a bunch of women zoned in on the one dude that looks like he belongs in a Ridley Scott movie, instead with Best Buy employees in a group photo from 1972.

The latest human meme is Bobak Ferdowsi (code name: “Mohawk Guy)” of CIT’s Jet Propulsion laboratory in Pasadena, and everyone’s curious about his red planet…  Continue reading “Mars Landing Control’s ‘Mohawk Guy’ Is An Internet Sensation”

‘Pretty Little Liars’ May Or May Not Be My New Favorite Show

I don’t wanna sound like a queer or nothin’ (Orgazmo quote, look it up) but I am really addicted to Pretty Little Liars.

It just kind of happened. One day I’m making fun of the promos, the next I’m gobbling up several back episodes a night on Netflix. It’s about these girls who were friends with this really awful chick named Alison who died. Nobody knows exactly how she died or who killed her. Oh, and they get these text messages from a mysterious person named “A.”

Continue reading “‘Pretty Little Liars’ May Or May Not Be My New Favorite Show”