Lindsay Lohan Orchestrated Beating of Paris Hilton’s Brother?

Barron Hilton beat upIn too-good-to-be-true news of the weekend, Paris Hilton’s bro claims he was beaten up at a party in Miami after Lindsay Lohan overheard him talking sh*t about her.

Lohan allegedly egged a man – now ID’ed as New Yorker Ray Lemoine – on to attack Barron Hilton. TMZ’s sources say both Lemoine and Lohan were mysteriously not home when police came to question them.

Reps for both parties deny the accusations, with Lemoine’s specifying that Barron started the fight in the first place.

Paris reportedly Instagrammed the now-deleted words “They both will pay for what they did. No one f*cks with my family and gets away with it!!”

 

Justin Bieber Made a Half-Canadian, Half-Euro Baby in 2010

Justin Bieber Eiffel TowerJustin Bieber has a new baby mama, except this one is better/more scandalous because she’s older, from a different country and claims Justin was 15 (instead of 16) when she slept with him. Like baby mama #1, Mariah Yeater, the new woman makes Justin out be the predator even though the state he supposedly diddled her in has pretty strict statutory rape laws.

The 25-year-old European floozy says she met JB in Miami Beach, FL in 2010 during his My World tour. The night allegedly began with sexy Mozzarella Sticks at TGI Friday’s and ended with some rawdogging at at The Perry South Beach Hotel (formerly known as the Gansevoort).

Here she is, two and a half years later, sitting with her screaming toddler daughter seeking fame and fortune (which confuses me, because she refuses to identify herself).  Continue reading “Justin Bieber Made a Half-Canadian, Half-Euro Baby in 2010”

Desmond Bryant Enters Top Best Mugshot Lists

Desmond Bryant mugshotRaiders DT Desmond Bryant (not to be confused with Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant) rolled his drunken eyes and stuck out his tongue for a shirtless mugshot at Dade County’s correctional facility Sunday morning.

Bryant was reportedly arrested for causing an inebriated commotion at a neighbor’s home in Miami.

Deadspin has the photo(s) of the NFL star and is holding a photoshop contest. Currently in the unofficial running: him as a seal, him chopped into one of Beyonce’s unflattering Superbowl pics, and him in The Miracle Worker.

Desmond becomes an unrestricted free agent on March 12. It’s really too bad he can’t go play with fellow best/worst mugshot contender Todd Helton.  Continue reading “Desmond Bryant Enters Top Best Mugshot Lists”

Paparazzi Invade Selena Gomez’s Everything

When you look at photos of celebrities, you have to consider exactly how they were taken.

New pictures of perpetual babyface Selena Gomez lounging around in her bikini, picking her eye, practicing downward dog, and talking on the phone make me think of the cameraman’s location…

Continue reading “Paparazzi Invade Selena Gomez’s Everything”

Rod Stewart Is The Latest Cast Member Of ‘The Real L Word’

A lot of men turn into lesbians when they get older. It’s not a judgment or a speculation, it’s just the truth. Kyle MacLachlan, Bret Michaels, Bruce Jenner, Mick Jagger, Val Kilmer, and Steven Tyler are all victims of it.

The testosterone diminishes, beers are thrown back as the metabolism slows and the pectoral muscles morph into lusciously hairy b-cups.

This happened to Rod Stewart a long time ago, I’m not sure exactly when, but I’m sure he’s aware of it and just kind of said “fuck it, I’m a 67-year-old rock star and my wife’s a model with bad vision, it no longer matters if I wear a speedo show my tits to strangers on the beach.”  Continue reading “Rod Stewart Is The Latest Cast Member Of ‘The Real L Word’”

Naked Miami Zombie Was Likely On ‘Bath Salts’

Rudy Eugene, the Florida man who was shot and killed near Miami Beach after police discovered him eating another man’s face in the nude on May 26, may have been high on an designer drug often called “bath salts” or “ivory wave.”

The victim is 65 year-old Ronald Poppo, whose bizarre case of has gone viral in every sense of the word. He is in critical condition and “unrecognizable” after the horrific events.

Eugene chewed off 80% percent of Poppo’s face, targeting his nose, ears, cheeks and eyes. People are calling him a “zombie” due to the fact that he continued biting after he was shot in the chest by the cops.

But what of this unusual synthetic psychoactive drug that he was speculated to be on? In its two forms, MDPV and mephedrone, it was once legal…

Continue reading “Naked Miami Zombie Was Likely On ‘Bath Salts’”

Reggie Bush Buys Dolphin Offensive Line Segways

Reggie Bush bought the entire Miami offensive line some two-wheeled personal transporters, because we all know that offensive lineman are waify and need to be wary of walking.

His blockers can now race around South Beach at 12 miles an hour, picking up women and dining on fried foodstuffs without a bothersome car or stroll. The former Saint’s running back announced the gifts on Twitter, and posted pictures of the guys riding around on them “Just bought the whole offensive line segways!!!! I think they like them…They are riding around the parking lot like little kids in a candy store!”

Continue reading “Reggie Bush Buys Dolphin Offensive Line Segways”

Mischa Barton Magically Changed Back Into Marissa Cooper

Since Mischa Barton‘s career skyrocketed for three years on The O.C. and then fell like piece of mythical space equipment there’s been little to report on except her minimal weight gain and lack of makeup.

I’ve been rooting for her to make some sort of comeback for several years now and it seems she may be close to doing so. Either that or she just looks better and plans on retiring to Miami, where these photos were taken. The problem with her is that she’s not willing to play a supporting role and climb her way back up, therefore she gets stuck with these bizarre bargain bin-destined DVDs like You And I, the tale of two girls who fall in love at a t.A.T.u. concert.

Continue reading “Mischa Barton Magically Changed Back Into Marissa Cooper”

Florida Woman Arrested For Injecting Cement Into People’s Rears

A transgendered Miami woman (pictured left) was arrested on November 18 for practicing medicine without a license. 30 year-old Oneal Ron Morris reportedly injected at least one patient with completely bogus substances such as mineral oil, cement, and “Fix A Flat” spray. Morris sealed the spot of injection with super glue.

The investigation began when a former patient of Morris’s was hospitalized after her body rejected the substances. The procedure was originally made to enhance the woman’s butt, and I guess it kind of works because Morris also sports a fake butt, check out her mugshot. (Though mug is hardly the right word)

Continue reading “Florida Woman Arrested For Injecting Cement Into People’s Rears”

Brooke Hogan Is An Animal


[Photo by Jordan Michael Zuniga]

And when I say she’s an animal I don’t mean like, a Ke$ha Animal, not like a simple party girl, which she is, but literally an animal in a cage.

The semi-infamous daughter of now divorced Hulk and Linda Hogan, posed nude in a dog cage to benefit PETA, at the Cafeina gallery in the Wynwood Art District of Miami, Florida.

Continue reading “Brooke Hogan Is An Animal”