Lucky Lindsay Lohan Getting ‘Help’ From Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson

Lindsay Lohan role modelsLindsay Lohan has the luck of a toad stuffed in a mailbox with a handful of lit fireworks, so it’s good that she has helpful people like Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson and Michael Lohan in her life.

After learning that Lindsay owed quite a hefty sum ($233,904) to the IRS, who have seized her bank accounts, Sheen reportedly offered Lindsay $100,000 after getting close with her on the set of Scary Movie 5. That sort of makes sense, I guess. Mel Gibson telling Extra that he “may” help Lindsay makes less sense, except that he must relate to being disliked.

Forget washed-up actors with misplaced paternal feelings! Actual father Michael Lohan has weighed in. “Where is all her money going?” he said in his usual opinionated-but-innocent-bystander type of way.  Continue reading “Lucky Lindsay Lohan Getting ‘Help’ From Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson”

5 Things To Know About Lindsay Lohan’s New Half-Sister

The results for a paternity test involving a woman Michael Lohan had an affair with in 1994 are here.

It turns out, Lindsay Lohan does have a half-sibling in 17-year-old Ashley Horn.

This all went down on The Trisha Goddard Show, but since there were swabs involved, Maury Povich just had to make a “special guest” appearance.

In an interview before the big reveal, Michael denies ever having contact with the daughter of Kristi Horn Kaufmann but literally nobody believes him because he’s a Lohan, and lying comes as easily to them as being unreliable and drinking vodka out of troughs.  Continue reading “5 Things To Know About Lindsay Lohan’s New Half-Sister”

Lindsay Calls Her Cocaine-Addicted Mother ‘The Devil’

The sword-shallowing club-going mother/daughter duo of Lindsay and Dina Lohan were in a limo on their way to Long Island when Lindsay called Dina “the devil” and accused her of being on drugs in audio of a phone call to Michael Lohan obtained by TMZ.

“Dad, she’s on cocaine. She’s like touching her neck and shit,” LL told her father.

First of all, let me say congratulations to Lindsay for NOT being behind the wheel. I’m very proud of you for simply getting in an argument about money with the whacked-out mother who probably gave you your first line INSTEAD of doing all that AND crashing into a brick wall.  Continue reading “Lindsay Calls Her Cocaine-Addicted Mother ‘The Devil’”

Lindsay Lohan, More Talent Than Rosie O’Donnell? NEVAHH

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black, Michael Lohan lashed out at Rosie O’Donnell after she called Lindsay Lohan unfit to portray Elizabeth Taylor in the new Lifetime movie Liz & Dick.

“I feel very sorry for her, I think she needs a lot of help,” O’Donnell told a Today Show panel on Tuesday. “She needs a lot of time away. On ‘SNL’ it wasn’t as though she delivered, people watched expecting, hoping, wishing, but she needs a lot of help. I don’t think she’s right for the role, and I don’t think she’s capable at this point of doing what’s needed to portray that character, I think the interest level in her has waned significantly.” Continue reading “Lindsay Lohan, More Talent Than Rosie O’Donnell? NEVAHH”

Dial-A-Star Celebrities, F-List And Below

For anywhere from five to twenty seven dollars a minute, depending on how much dignity they lack, you can talk on the phone with real life porn stars celebrities with the new service, “Dial-A-Star.”

According to the outdated website it’s “the only place you can talk directly to a TRUE celebrity!” More reasons why it feels like a phone sex service – they use the words “discreet,” “completely private” and “anonymous.” And what celebs do you get to talk to? The biggest names are:  Continue reading “Dial-A-Star Celebrities, F-List And Below”

Michael Lohan Retaliates After Being Denied Oral Sex

Lindsay Lohan’s father, Michael, was arrested yesterday morning in Florida after allegedly attacking his girlfriend, Kate Major, 28.

A Tampa police officer told the press, “She had some redness on her arms, some minor bruising and it was determined that he grabbed her arm and threw her to the ground a couple of times.”

Major had a court date later in the day, relating to a restraining order she filed against Michael. A police report obtained on Tuesday states that Lohan got violent with her over the hearing and the fact that she wouldn’t give him a blowjob…

Continue reading “Michael Lohan Retaliates After Being Denied Oral Sex”